Monitoring College Freshman Assignments/Grades
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Anonymous
Make sure you find out when his professor's office hours are. Go to the office hours and introduce yourself as your son's mother. Refer to the professor as a 'teacher' and say that you want to meet all of junior's teachers. They will love you for that! |
Anonymous
Ya, ya gotta do ED to W&M. Do the interview. Take the tour. |
Anonymous
| DD has severe inattentive ADHD. She is 20 and handling college well. She has accommodations and a therapist she sees regularly. However I stepped back once she hit HS. I needed her to take responsibility for her work and self-advocate. She had a resource class freshman year of HS to support her and build needed skills. She learned about apps to help her manage the workload (reminders) and how to chunk larger assignments. And she knew that tutoring was an option but she had to learn not to wait too long to ask for help. With each year she was more successful and by junior year she had all As. It was really difficult to not check her portal or intervene but I figured that she needed to build independence to be successful in college. Senior year we “tested” her with a dual enrollment course. It was stressful but she leaned about college level expectations, how to speak to a professor and that deadlines were deadlines. You have to be willing to let them falter if they are ultimately going to be successful. My advice is that if you really don’t think he can do it without your day to day support try community college first. At minimum, have him do a practice run with a community college course this summer if at all possible. It won’t be about the credit but a rehearsal for freshman year. |
Anonymous
She also had 3 Bs freshman year and 1 B junior year. But yes, certainly the B-s didn’t help and more to the point they were avoidable. She didn’t turn in some missing completion grades when we switched to virtual. 4.0W after junior year, w/ 4 APs factored in is a respectable transcript. It will be around a 4.15-4.2 at graduation. And she had interesting ECs. But nothing national or amazing. But it’s not a perfect 4.5 transcript like PP is bemoaning. My point is kids can make mistakes and recover and still get into schools like WM. Certainly understanding that you are on the lower end of applicants in terms of GPA and doing the extra essay, interviewing, and ED makes a difference. |
Anonymous
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OP, you can help on the front end by connecting your student with the academic coaching/tutoring/services center at the college. Often, kids (and parents) are not aware that these helps exist.
The sooner the student learns how to find this help themselves, the more you'll feel comfortable letting go, easing the transition. As you know, at some point you need to allow your student to rise to the occasion. You may be surprised at the amount of growth you will see first year of college. If absolutely necessary, intuitively, a professional academic coach would be a better plan than you monitoring Canvas, not to mention less stressful for you personally and possibly for your student as well. |
Anonymous
Helping to find an internship or paid work, GTFO! |
Anonymous
I was responding to OP, not you. Mental health was not part of the original post. Colleges were supposed to consider the DL/Covid adjustment issues in admissions when reviewing applications. And that was my point. My kid had plenty of issues but still did their own work and applications and was ultimately punished with rejections because I didn’t micromanage her instead. Colleges say they want self-driven, independent students, but they admit the flawless applications that are mostly curated by intense parental management. Therefore we have parents of scholarship winners wondering if they should monitor college grades. |
Anonymous
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As a parent, you do not want to be in that role!
Instead, see whether the school can provide (or recommend) an “academic coach” who can check in with DS once a week in the beginning (then tapering off to every other week, then monthly or as needed). The focus would be executive function/planning skills, not to help him DO his work. (If he ends up having trouble with a particular subject, that’s different - I’m sure the school could connect him with a subject matter tutor). But it sounds like ge might need help with the PROCESS the first year. Pre-scheduled check-ins with a coach can help ensure he has all assignments on his calendar, is working ahead / chunking the larger projects, budgeting his time as needed etc. It may also be helpful to him just to have someone OTHER than his parent checking in to ask how he’s doing - how he feels about how things are going academically. If he’s feeling overwhelmed, they would know early and be in a position to help him get back on track. Most schools have “academic advisors” - I’d start by talking to that group. My guess is what you’re looking for is more in their bucket than in counseling/psychological services. Above all else, get yourself OUT of that role!! You want him to have way more independence than that so he can develop the skills and confidence he’ll need as an adult. Good luck! |
Anonymous
Or in case of my kiddo, they were doing all the work, turning it in, studying as best they could, going to tutoring, hired a private tutor for the science courses, attending office hours and ta hours, and still struggling. when this happens, for most with ADHD, there is also some level of anxiety that kicks into overdrive and the kid needs outside guidance to help them from spiraling downward. I helped guide mine to do best they could to overcome the issues (dropped one course as recommended taking the W rather than an F) and ultimately that included deciding to switch from what they had dreamed of being since they were 10 years old (PT). I always knew it might not work out (PT school is as hard if not harder than Medical school, probably not the best place for someone who is smart but doesn't test well, has anxiety and lacks executive functioning, which translates to not being able to memorize large amounts of information in a small time frame...exactly what you needs for medical school/PT/OT school with so much information to learn). But while I knew that had to let the college freshman come to that conclusion themselves and then help them decide what new path to take. For my kiddo, that was ultimately a 3+ hour discussion at 9pm the night before registering at 10am for fall semester sophomore courses (when kiddo got a test grade back and realized they were going to need to drop yet another required course ). Kid was frustrated and spiraling and needed to find a path, but ultimately I just guided the discussion and allowed them to talk trhu it and decide on the next step. Kid was the one who was waiting at the PT program directors offices (and then onto the new program directors office) at 7:45am the next day to get paperwork processed so they could switch majors and make certain they registered for correct courses for their new major. And you know what, my kid focused and did just that. It was a stressful 12 hours that I knew was ultimately coming at some point, but who wants to crush their kid's dreams. I let them give it a shot and realize for themselves (like the adult they are) that it wasn't a fun or desired path anymore. Much more productive than me telling them that it wouldn't work out. I would have given ANYTHING to have been wrong, but I'm momma and I had spent the last 18 years dealing with a slightly non-neurotypical kid so I knew what my role should best be. But no way was I gonna not help guide my college freshman!! With my guidance they landed in a better place, are happy with their choices, and immediately began to do much better in school (and enjoy more of their courses). With my younger kid, I likely wont go down any path like that. They are extremely smart (academically and emotionally) and have a type A/go getter personality. Their version of "failure" is getting a B+ or A-; academics have come very easily to them so far. Personally I'm so happy they are not switched in positions, as I would really think something was "wrong" with my oldest if they arrived after the youngest. This way I'm much more open minded to my kids and to other kids, as I have experienced the not neuro-typical kid and realize that everybody's path in life is difference and we need to celebrate what we have. My oldest is on path for being a successful adult. Graduating with a meaningful job. Ready to be more independent. Exactly what we should want in life for our kids |
Anonymous
How precisely are schools to know that a lower achieving kid was not micromanaged up to the highest point she was able? Or that the higher achieving kid is that good on their own? My kid is at WM, she's not flawless and I definitely didn't curate her app (nagged her to do it a bit I admit) but she did really well in tough courses in HS and did well on the SAT. She didn't have tutors or counselors or test prep or whatnot in HS. Still W&M freshman fall kicked her butt. She got a 2.5 GPA and while she says now she probably partied a little more than she should have she also worked hard. She showed me papers she wrote that I thought were excellent for undergrad but got B-/C+ (And I went to a T20 school for undergrad and an Ivy for grad--definitely tougher than my experience). She's on a better course grade-wise now (fingers crossed for finals) but it's a hard school. So you don't know the situation when someone is worried about their scholarship kid who is struggling? |
Anonymous
Mine was the same but learned to managed on her own. He is an adult, give him a chance to become independent. |
Anonymous
| Do make it clear that he may have to transfer to a community college if he lost this scholarship. He’ll RISD to the occasion. |
Anonymous
| *rise |