| you might look at them for informational purposes, but your days of keeping up with his assignments and grades are over. if he can't handle things, back home he goes to community college. |
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You could hire an "executive function coach".
That person could help monitor, remind, etc. But more importantly help teach him techniques to better manage with his challenges. |
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When do you expect him to learn to do what it takes to be an independent adult? There will always be some reason to track his performance. When he gets a job he might “need” the same amount of help in order to avoid getting fired. When he gets married he might “need” help to avoid pissing off his wife.
He might lose his scholarship. It’s okay. At some point in his life he needs to figure out how to live. |
| Most universities have some form of probation or lenience for first-semester freshmen. |
100% and I make no excuses for it. In a time of tight college applications where one mistake can torpedo chances at a good college, I absolutely monitor and remind. Luckily, I need to do very little of that and DC does her own work. I offer tutors and regularly check in as to deadlines, what's coming up, and what she needs. No I will not be with her at college. But she will be 4 years older by then and will have (hopefully) learned good organization and study habits. I'm helping to set her up to be independent by that time. We are not doing this for a scholarship, alone, but if that helps, all the better. |
Sorry, I was moving way too quickly and see now that you are referring to college freshmen. My bad. |
NP I love the "slippery slope" commenter said by someone who doesn't have a kid who has executive functioning issues! Just because you help them out now doesn't mean you will be helping them out later! I would try to outsource it though. Is there a counselor or disability office that he can go to? |
| Another tip, suggest he sign up for an extra class each semester and drop one if need be before deadline. Something our ADHD CS kid discovered works for him to stay on 4 yr track. By sophomore yr or when he declares a major/minor ask him to show you what he’s plotted out class wise to graduate in 4 years. Remind him to look for general Ed classes that fulfill more than 1 requirement. |
| I'm an academic coach at a college, and I have quite a few students with ADHD who meet with me weekly for support. I agree with the other posters about either getting him connected with student support on campus or hiring an independent coach who specializes in working with college students with ADHD. |
| Op is a troll for sure. |
You clearly don't have a child with executive function challenges. My guess is OP is not a troll. |
Definitely this. A lot of colleges have support that will help students plan their time and places where they can work/study and get support. Get a list of those in place in advance and I would check in that your child is using these services rather than checking on actual assignments. Also, now is the time to back off and tell your child you are doing so. Let DC handle April- June as much as possible. There are classes on Outschool your child could take before school starts to get good practices in place. Look up “executive funcion” as a keyword. Maybe a local summer class as well that doesn’t have to count? Then you two can talk about the best way to stay organized and practice the skills needed. GL |
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12 credits is full time. Don't have him take too many. Especially freshmen year. Especially 1st semester freshmen year.
Or maybe he starts with more credits, more than that, maybe even too many but also has the plan to drop. Drop the class, before the deadline, that's giving him problems or his least favorite. At least be open to some unique ideas |
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Speaking as the parent of a kid who still doesn't know if he's going to graduate in a month because he didn't see that a course from last semester was marked incomplete,
YES, have him give you access to his stuff |
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We didn’t want to and thankfully didn’t have to monitor as their merit scholarships were tied to their GPA and we knew they are responsible enough to maintain it. I think college is a time to self-regulate and facing consequences for not doing the job. It’s not a parent’s job, one can land the high school helicopter. Your job is to be available and supportive.
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