Real Friends vs Mom Friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have friends going back 50 years, and I am 60.

You should never let go of longtime good friendships. They aren't that hard to maintain.

+1. I have friends from high school that are as close as sisters. We all had kids at different times, but the friendships are still very solid.

My best friend is from 20 years ago. She is childless and has a big job while I am a SAHM. Our friendship is as strong as ever.

[Anonymous]

Make new friends, but keep the old... one is silver & the other gold.

[Anonymous]

You're a crappy friend OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make new friends, but keep the old... one is silver & the other gold.

This reminds me of my mom, who still gets together regularly with the other"girl Scout moms". I guess they bonded taking us camping all those times! So mom friends can last (the scouts are all 40 now) but my mom has always been good at maintaining relationships so also has longer term friends going back to elementary school (!). Sixty years of friendship is something to aspire to, I would think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make new friends, but keep the old... one is silver & the other gold.

This reminds me of my mom, who still gets together regularly with the other"girl Scout moms". I guess they bonded taking us camping all those times! So mom friends can last (the scouts are all 40 now) but my mom has always been good at maintaining relationships so also has longer term friends going back to elementary school (!). Sixty years of friendship is something to aspire to, I would think.

Awwww.

I can see this happening to me(not girl scouts though). I have made some pretty amazing mom friends!

[Anonymous]

I love having friends without kids and getting together without kids present. You can actually have an adult conversation without a child whining or crying and constantly interrupting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advise from an older woman: do everything in your power to keep close to your old friends. You will need them as touchstones and support later. “Mom friends” can become true friends but generally they are fleeting and mercurial. You’ll have to believe me on this.

Kids drift apart. Families move. Parents get divorced. Some kids play baseball. Others go to a different school because they are gifted. Or they choose private school.

I would not drop my real friends in attempts to make mom friends.

+100 If you end up with "that" kid, moms will drop you (just read on this board a while) and you will be missing those tried and true old friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends from college accused me of ditching them for mom friends. I feel that since I’m new to the area (new school) I need to establish for myself for the kids sake. I dont want my kids feeling like outsiders…I feel like establishing yourself in the “inner parent circle” is a part of parenting. Has anyone put their established friendships on “hold” for new mom friendships. I dont have time for old friends and establishing new relationships. I understand kids grow up but I want the best for them.

How did you deal with this? All the birthday parties , invites etc?

If I were one of your "real" friends and you ditched me for "mom" friends, we would no longer be friends. Why are you unable to have both?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends from college accused me of ditching them for mom friends. I feel that since I’m new to the area (new school) I need to establish for myself for the kids sake. I dont want my kids feeling like outsiders…I feel like establishing yourself in the “inner parent circle” is a part of parenting. Has anyone put their established friendships on “hold” for new mom friendships. I dont have time for old friends and establishing new relationships. I understand kids grow up but I want the best for them.

How did you deal with this? All the birthday parties , invites etc?

You are wrong. Keep your old friends. You do not need to be in the inner circle with a bunch of random moms so your kids have friends. Be nice and socialize appropriately with the mom friends, but they will never be your real friends.