Don't like First Date Idea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I had our first date at a billiards place in DC. It was really fun bc you could talk but you were also doing an activity at the same time. I’m terrible at pool.

Our next date was at an upscale restaurant. Keep an open mind. Honestly, I don’t understand why people have such stringent rules, and then wonder why they are still single. Live a little.

This. You want someone who can move effortlessly in a wide range of situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you want to go? What type of place is it? I’d probably still go…

It's to play pool. I hate pool, and the place looks sketch.

Sometimes pool halls have other games too. Are you in DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does a first date have to be creative? Nothing wrong with a nice lunch and/or trip to a museum. I wouldn’t do a first date where I was likely to be shown up in something at which I am relatively unskilled.

I bet this guy didn’t pick a restaurant because he doesn’t want to pay. Pool is cheap.

+1. It's a red flag to me. The guys can easily ignore his date if it doesn't go well too. Yuck. Do people still smoke in pool halls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does a first date have to be creative? Nothing wrong with a nice lunch and/or trip to a museum. I wouldn’t do a first date where I was likely to be shown up in something at which I am relatively unskilled.

I bet this guy didn’t pick a restaurant because he doesn’t want to pay. Pool is cheap.

+1. It's a red flag to me. The guys can easily ignore his date if it doesn't go well too. Yuck. Do people still smoke in pool halls?

You people are ... exactly what should be expected from DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t like you that much to agree to pool. Can we do x instead?”

I live in the suburbs and so many guys would invite me into dc for a date (totally normal) but I didn’t have the energy to do that for a first date and used the above line more or less and the guys that were worth my time didn’t care at all to travel to the burbs. It felt high maintenance on my part but I also didn’t care. Going into dc wasn’t worth the hassle.

Omg who would go out with someone who led with this line? There are a million other things to say.

Because it is flirty. I think it is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone waste so much time on a guy who suggests something that they have absolutely no interest in doing? Sounds like many think you can mold this pool player into someone he obviously isn’t. It would be much better for OP to move on to a prospect that’s more in line with her idea of a good first date rather than working with "Pool Hall Joe". Unless, of course, OP has no other prospects, which is my suspicion.

Because the guy isn't necessarily spending all his free time in pool halls. He could just be a guy struggling to come up with a fun date idea. I advised that the OP throw out a different idea and see his reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone waste so much time on a guy who suggests something that they have absolutely no interest in doing? Sounds like many think you can mold this pool player into someone he obviously isn’t. It would be much better for OP to move on to a prospect that’s more in line with her idea of a good first date rather than working with "Pool Hall Joe". Unless, of course, OP has no other prospects, which is my suspicion.

Because the guy isn't necessarily spending all his free time in pool halls. He could just be a guy struggling to come up with a fun date idea. I advised that the OP throw out a different idea and see his reaction.

But OP wasn’t receptive to the idea so why bother to reinvent it? When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Unless of course you’re desperate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I had our first date at a billiards place in DC. It was really fun bc you could talk but you were also doing an activity at the same time. I’m terrible at pool.

Our next date was at an upscale restaurant. Keep an open mind. Honestly, I don’t understand why people have such stringent rules, and then wonder why they are still single. Live a little.

All of this. Many of these posters are way bto rigid and wonder why their dating life and relationships suck. Life and relationships are better when you take yourself less seriously show some flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Not that there's something wrong with asking for a chance, but I would be put off by it

I'd likely agree to the change but it's something I'd take note of and monitor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone waste so much time on a guy who suggests something that they have absolutely no interest in doing? Sounds like many think you can mold this pool player into someone he obviously isn’t. It would be much better for OP to move on to a prospect that’s more in line with her idea of a good first date rather than working with "Pool Hall Joe". Unless, of course, OP has no other prospects, which is my suspicion.

Because the guy isn't necessarily spending all his free time in pool halls. He could just be a guy struggling to come up with a fun date idea. I advised that the OP throw out a different idea and see his reaction.

But OP wasn’t receptive to the idea so why bother to reinvent it? When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Unless of course you’re desperate.

JFC, the guy is suggesting pool for a first date. He’s not doing something declarative worthy of the usual “believe him” quote. What in the world is wrong with OP giving it a try and seeing what happens?? It could be the only time they are ever in a pool hall, if it works out. He may play a lot, or he may just think it might be fun and give more opportunities for laughing and joking. OP would figure that out at the first date based on the conversation. If OP can’t do something as simple as pool without it being some huge definition of the potential relationship, then maybe he’s better off not going out with someone so rigid about things so benign. Doesn’t bode well for the compromise required for a long-term relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not that there's something wrong with asking for a chance, but I would be put off by it

I'd likely agree to the change but it's something I'd take note of and monitor.

Hahaha. “Monitor” … what the heck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone waste so much time on a guy who suggests something that they have absolutely no interest in doing? Sounds like many think you can mold this pool player into someone he obviously isn’t. It would be much better for OP to move on to a prospect that’s more in line with her idea of a good first date rather than working with "Pool Hall Joe". Unless, of course, OP has no other prospects, which is my suspicion.

Because the guy isn't necessarily spending all his free time in pool halls. He could just be a guy struggling to come up with a fun date idea. I advised that the OP throw out a different idea and see his reaction.

But OP wasn’t receptive to the idea so why bother to reinvent it? When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Unless of course you’re desperate.

Good lord, it's not like he kicked OP's puppy and she's waiting to figure out whether or not he's a puppy kicker. The guy suggested pool once. Nothing to say pool is his raison d'etre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t like you that much to agree to pool. Can we do x instead?”

I live in the suburbs and so many guys would invite me into dc for a date (totally normal) but I didn’t have the energy to do that for a first date and used the above line more or less and the guys that were worth my time didn’t care at all to travel to the burbs. It felt high maintenance on my part but I also didn’t care. Going into dc wasn’t worth the hassle.

This is why I never dated anyone who lives in the suburbs. No one wants to go to a strip mall for a date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t like you that much to agree to pool. Can we do x instead?”

I live in the suburbs and so many guys would invite me into dc for a date (totally normal) but I didn’t have the energy to do that for a first date and used the above line more or less and the guys that were worth my time didn’t care at all to travel to the burbs. It felt high maintenance on my part but I also didn’t care. Going into dc wasn’t worth the hassle.

Are you single?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not that there's something wrong with asking for a chance, but I would be put off by it

I'd likely agree to the change but it's something I'd take note of and monitor.

Hahaha. “Monitor” … what the heck?

Yes monitor for general inflexibility or general ahole behavior. I also red flag responses like yours