Don't like First Date Idea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say something. The purpose of dating is to find out if you are compatible not to pretend to like things you don’t. I would be turned off by a first date at a pool hall. I like guys who are into the idea of my femininity, and don’t treat me like one of the guys in early dates.

Excuse me while I vomit.

+1, this is so weird

-1

I get what she is saying, and as a guy, I find it attractive. The "excuse me while I vomit" poster sounds like a loser to me. To each his own.

You’re attracted to helpless women because it makes you feel strong and manly, even though you’re actually a hollow-chested, low-level paper pusher. Pathetic.

Lol “helpless” woman here who wrote this. I’m a ivy educated doctor and make $250K annually in a bad year. I worked through Covid unvaccinated while you were home baking cookies with your dual income household while I raised my kids on my own. I also prefer men who have a keen sense of courtship to ones who invite me out for pool on a first date. That doesn’t make them weak it makes them sexy and actual adults. Knowing what I want and enjoying the dance of binary sexuality doesn’t make me helpless. You might want to reflect on your comment which sounds like a whole lot of projection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone asks you out an suggests going to a place you really don't want to go to, do you speak up? or just go along with it?

Its perfectly fine to say so and suggest an alternative of equal value. You cant suggest Ritz instead of Pizzahut, unless you make sure to pay for it.

Hon, there is a huge difference between asking you out TO HANG vs asking you out for a romantic evening. This guy thinks of you as one of the guys and is trying to grow his billiard posse. I'd allude to the fact that you'd prefer bowling (or whatever) and prefer to grab dinner at X. If he's interested in X, go. If he is looking for a pool buddy, at least say you'll keep your ears peeled for someone else who might be interested.

How is bowling more romantic than pool? Bowling is utterly dorky, at least pool is cool.

Really? It's a great to check out someone's ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say something. The purpose of dating is to find out if you are compatible not to pretend to like things you don’t. I would be turned off by a first date at a pool hall. I like guys who are into the idea of my femininity, and don’t treat me like one of the guys in early dates.

Excuse me while I vomit.

+1, this is so weird

-1

I get what she is saying, and as a guy, I find it attractive. The "excuse me while I vomit" poster sounds like a loser to me. To each his own.

You’re attracted to helpless women because it makes you feel strong and manly, even though you’re actually a hollow-chested, low-level paper pusher. Pathetic.

Lol “helpless” woman here who wrote this. I’m a ivy educated doctor and make $250K annually in a bad year. I worked through Covid unvaccinated while you were home baking cookies with your dual income household while I raised my kids on my own. I also prefer men who have a keen sense of courtship to ones who invite me out for pool on a first date. That doesn’t make them weak it makes them sexy and actual adults. Knowing what I want and enjoying the dance of binary sexuality doesn’t make me helpless. You might want to reflect on your comment which sounds like a whole lot of projection.

Wow, I really touched a nerve there.

[Anonymous]

Speak up… It’s not rocket science

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say something. The purpose of dating is to find out if you are compatible not to pretend to like things you don’t. I would be turned off by a first date at a pool hall. I like guys who are into the idea of my femininity, and don’t treat me like one of the guys in early dates.

Excuse me while I vomit.

+1, this is so weird

-1

I get what she is saying, and as a guy, I find it attractive. The "excuse me while I vomit" poster sounds like a loser to me. To each his own.

You’re attracted to helpless women because it makes you feel strong and manly, even though you’re actually a hollow-chested, low-level paper pusher. Pathetic.

Lol “helpless” woman here who wrote this. I’m a ivy educated doctor and make $250K annually in a bad year. I worked through Covid unvaccinated while you were home baking cookies with your dual income household while I raised my kids on my own. I also prefer men who have a keen sense of courtship to ones who invite me out for pool on a first date. That doesn’t make them weak it makes them sexy and actual adults. Knowing what I want and enjoying the dance of binary sexuality doesn’t make me helpless. You might want to reflect on your comment which sounds like a whole lot of projection.

Wow, I really touched a nerve there.

You did. The nerve is the people on here who are so quick to judge strangers, to practice armchair psychology at a moments notice based on zero actual knowledge or expertise, and to cast others as somehow less than for being different from themselves. It is such a common occurrence and so counter productive for the people who post looking for actual help or support.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone waste so much time on a guy who suggests something that they have absolutely no interest in doing? Sounds like many think you can mold this pool player into someone he obviously isn’t. It would be much better for OP to move on to a prospect that’s more in line with her idea of a good first date rather than working with "Pool Hall Joe". Unless, of course, OP has no other prospects, which is my suspicion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone waste so much time on a guy who suggests something that they have absolutely no interest in doing? Sounds like many think you can mold this pool player into someone he obviously isn’t. It would be much better for OP to move on to a prospect that’s more in line with her idea of a good first date rather than working with "Pool Hall Joe". Unless, of course, OP has no other prospects, which is my suspicion.

I wonder how much of the negative response to a billiards date is class bias. I assume the vast majority of people on DCUM have no real interest in water polo, but if OP had received this as a first date suggestion, I doubt the sneering and ridicule that is going on at “Pool Hall Joe” would be occurring.

[Anonymous]

Sounds more like he’s a hipster who is into low risk/low reward first dates where he can check out his date for very little cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone waste so much time on a guy who suggests something that they have absolutely no interest in doing? Sounds like many think you can mold this pool player into someone he obviously isn’t. It would be much better for OP to move on to a prospect that’s more in line with her idea of a good first date rather than working with "Pool Hall Joe". Unless, of course, OP has no other prospects, which is my suspicion.

I wonder how much of the negative response to a billiards date is class bias. I assume the vast majority of people on DCUM have no real interest in water polo, but if OP had received this as a first date suggestion, I doubt the sneering and ridicule that is going on at “Pool Hall Joe” would be occurring.

You may have a valid point. Personally, I have no issue with the suggestion to go play pool on their date. But it is a little unusual. The issue is that OP doesn’t want to do that and instead of just saying “No thanks” is trying to reinvent the date instead of moving on. Since there is absolutely no investment in this guy, why bother making one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds more like he’s a hipster who is into low risk/low reward first dates where he can check out his date for very little cash.

Absolutely. He is setting a tone by letting you know that he prefers to keep things extremely casual early on. You will be uncomfortable in that setting and thus should not go on the date unless you already like him a lot. Wining and dining in a traditional way is not a priority for him. I would meet for coffee first to see whether there is any chemistry.

[Anonymous]

Ha my husband and I played pool on our first date - and it was my idea!

That being said, I think it's fine to suggest other ideas and I also wouldn't assume he is some kind of pool playing addict from the invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds more like he’s a hipster who is into low risk/low reward first dates where he can check out his date for very little cash.

Absolutely. He is setting a tone by letting you know that he prefers to keep things extremely casual early on. You will be uncomfortable in that setting and thus should not go on the date unless you already like him a lot. Wining and dining in a traditional way is not a priority for him. I would meet for coffee first to see whether there is any chemistry.

But why shouldn’t he keep it casual in the beginning? I assume that 9 out of 10 first dates go nowhere, and if he were to take all of these women to dinner, he would be significantly poorer at the end of it all. Coffee is fine—a little boring and generic, but fine. Personally I’d prefer the pool hall date, even though I’m terrible at pool. It would be something to laugh at.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I had our first date at a billiards place in DC. It was really fun bc you could talk but you were also doing an activity at the same time. I’m terrible at pool.

Our next date was at an upscale restaurant. Keep an open mind. Honestly, I don’t understand why people have such stringent rules, and then wonder why they are still single. Live a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone asks you out an suggests going to a place you really don't want to go to, do you speak up? or just go along with it?

Its perfectly fine to say so and suggest an alternative of equal value. You cant suggest Ritz instead of Pizzahut, unless you make sure to pay for it.

Hon, there is a huge difference between asking you out TO HANG vs asking you out for a romantic evening. This guy thinks of you as one of the guys and is trying to grow his billiard posse. I'd allude to the fact that you'd prefer bowling (or whatever) and prefer to grab dinner at X. If he's interested in X, go. If he is looking for a pool buddy, at least say you'll keep your ears peeled for someone else who might be interested.

How is bowling more romantic than pool? Bowling is utterly dorky, at least pool is cool.

Really? It's a great to check out someone's ass.

Pool is even better for this. You have to bend over the table to line up your shot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say something. The purpose of dating is to find out if you are compatible not to pretend to like things you don’t. I would be turned off by a first date at a pool hall. I like guys who are into the idea of my femininity, and don’t treat me like one of the guys in early dates.

Excuse me while I vomit.

+1, this is so weird

-1

I get what she is saying, and as a guy, I find it attractive. The "excuse me while I vomit" poster sounds like a loser to me. To each his own.

You’re attracted to helpless women because it makes you feel strong and manly, even though you’re actually a hollow-chested, low-level paper pusher. Pathetic.

I just want to say THANK YOU from another "helpless woman" except I was lucky to have worked from home.

Lol “helpless” woman here who wrote this. I’m a ivy educated doctor and make $250K annually in a bad year. I worked through Covid unvaccinated while you were home baking cookies with your dual income household while I raised my kids on my own. I also prefer men who have a keen sense of courtship to ones who invite me out for pool on a first date. That doesn’t make them weak it makes them sexy and actual adults. Knowing what I want and enjoying the dance of binary sexuality doesn’t make me helpless. You might want to reflect on your comment which sounds like a whole lot of projection.