Having a clean bedding as a privilege

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a frequent troll or paid sh$t stirrer. It’s always a long story that is just on the edge of believable and has some political buzz words, and the English is always slightly off.

What goes over the edge on this one to “clearly fake” for me is A) the SIL might be pissed but she wouldn’t say “check your privilege” because it makes no sense in this context. 2) OP’s reaction wouldn’t be to ask if clean sheets are “privilege” because that doesn’t make sense either.

x1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised your daughter wants to go at all then. If the sheets smell and are dirty the rest of the house must be too. Doesn’t his sister find it weird your kid is stripping the bed and bringing her own sheets?

I think it is rude to do that, to be honest. If you don’t like their level of hygiene, then don’t go. Or go but don’t spend the night. Save sleepovers for your house. But bringing your own sheets is a bit much

OP here,

My daughter is the only child and I think she does enjoy being around her cousins but she's also a very picky kid. I will definitely sit down and have a conversation with her. I always ask her when she comes back from a sleepover, how everything went and if she behaved herself as a guest. I know we're all family but still need to behave and follow the families rules and regulation. I'm assuming my sister-in-law didn't notice that my daughter was changing her bedding when she gets to her house. My husband and I think they might be having money issues, he's close to the husband and he will have a talk with him to find out what we can do to help. If it's a financial issue nothing else.

I agree you need to talk with your daughter. It is incredibly rude and offensive that she is bringing her own bedding when she hasn't been asked to do so. You just don't do stuff like that if you're going to be a good guest. Your daughter needs to learn that being a good guest means that she doesn't do things that will hurt the host's feelings. Certainly your husband should talk to the BIL but you guys both need to talk to your daughter about being a better guest.

Oh, FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sleeping bag and a pillow are a great idea. She can use this right on top of the bed. Easier and less embarrassing for all

Excellent idea. My sisters and I did the same as kids. We didn’t hurt anyone feelings at all

New poster. If the SIL is touchy, then a sleeping bag coming into the house is going to upset her all over again. A sheet can be folded up and packed inside a bag, same for a top sheet and thin blanket. A sleeping bag is very obviously a sleeping bag and practically shouts, "I'm not sleeping IN any of your bedding, I'm going to sleep on top of it encased in my sleeping bag," whereas quietly getting out sheets at bedtime on your own, and tossing them on top of bedding, is much less showy a solution. Unless the DD is is making a big production of stripping the bed and re-making it, sheets are a somewhat subtler solution and therefore "easier and less embarrassing" than hauling a rolled-up sleeping bag into the house. DD should be just laying her own flat sheet on top of the bed sheet, then covering herself with her own flat top sheet and/or blanket. Done. No stripping required.

Also, to OP, I think all you adults here are going to make your DD and the cousins all embarrassed and self-conscious. Unless your DD is talking to her aunt and cousins about the smell, complaining, making a big fuss about it when there -- let this go! And why are you calling your DD "picky" in one moment but the next moment saying she genuinely has sensitive skin etc.? It's not being "picky" if your skin is affected. Neither is it being picky if smells, bad or supposedly "good" perfumed smells, irritate your nose, eyes, skin, give you headaches -- is she experiencing those things? I do, whether the issue is bad smells or gross perfumed detergents on "clean' sheets.

Just tell DD to be discreet about the sheets and not to talk it up around the cousins and aunt. Done.

Please don't end up driving a wedge between your DD and her cousins, if they get along nicely now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised your daughter wants to go at all then. If the sheets smell and are dirty the rest of the house must be too. Doesn’t his sister find it weird your kid is stripping the bed and bringing her own sheets?

I think it is rude to do that, to be honest. If you don’t like their level of hygiene, then don’t go. Or go but don’t spend the night. Save sleepovers for your house. But bringing your own sheets is a bit much

OP here,

My daughter is the only child and I think she does enjoy being around her cousins but she's also a very picky kid. I will definitely sit down and have a conversation with her. I always ask her when she comes back from a sleepover, how everything went and if she behaved herself as a guest. I know we're all family but still need to behave and follow the families rules and regulation. I'm assuming my sister-in-law didn't notice that my daughter was changing her bedding when she gets to her house. My husband and I think they might be having money issues, he's close to the husband and he will have a talk with him to find out what we can do to help. If it's a financial issue nothing else.

I agree you need to talk with your daughter. It is incredibly rude and offensive that she is bringing her own bedding when she hasn't been asked to do so. You just don't do stuff like that if you're going to be a good guest. Your daughter needs to learn that being a good guest means that she doesn't do things that will hurt the host's feelings. Certainly your husband should talk to the BIL but you guys both need to talk to your daughter about being a better guest.

No. It's not rude to bring a sleeping bag or pillow if you're a child staying over. It doesn't sound like this was an issue with the SIL until Op's husband brought it up so indelicately. But it's not "incredibly rude and offensive" it might be more rude and offensive to expect your guests to sleep on dirty linens and offer them unclean towels. Who does that?

Bring your own linens? Not unless you're told to. It is horribly rude to bring your own linens because it says that the host's linens are not up to your standard. If that is your feeling then you shouldn't be staying there. Were you raised under a rock?

DP. JFC, "horribly rude"? So you know not one soul who has allergies to detergents, dryer sheet residue (yeah, they leave residue), scented this and that used on bedding, or the other chemicals in beds and bedding? So glad you have the hide of a rhino, but a LOT of people find other people's sheets a problem. We have family friends with an allergy to chemicals used in the making and processing of almost all sheets; they carry sheets everywhere including hotels and relatives' homes. I guess you'd insist they stay home forever, then. And before you say, that's different, that's an allergy -- I will bring my own sheets anywhere I like because my non-allergic skin will still itch and I won't sleep well if the sheets are rough. Sorry, I'm just a delicate flower to you, I guess. A horribly rude delicate flower who freaking plans to sleep and not toss and turn all night.

I think hosts who get in a twist over these things are the ones who were raised under a rock.