MILs with only sons

[Anonymous]

Every family dynamic is different. But my MIL also has a daughter. She has a weird jealous/competitive relationship with her.

I always feel like an outsider and afterthought. Like they forget about me, even after 17 years and 2 kids. When. I first had kids I thought we were turning a corner and I felt more like part of the family. But as soon as my sister in law had her kids a couple of years later I felt excluded again, and my kids seem to have taken a back seat to her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL with only sons definitely wanted me to be her surrogate daughter but I wouldn't say she was welcoming. We have a decent relationship, but she is a difficult personality type. She's extremely insecure and passive aggressive. She will never say what she wants but will be upset when people don't give it to her anyway. It's exhausting. The idea of her inviting me over to make Christmas cookies, or even just having a normal conversation with me about books or TV, sounds impossible.

I think she has this idea that she missed out on all the best parts of motherhood because she only had boys, and this plays into this sense of entitlement she has. Like she's owed certain things in life because of the terrible fate of mothering only boys. I think she also assumes if she'd had a daughter, they'd have all the same interests and be best friends. So I never live up to her expectations because of course I am my own person and we don't have that much in common, and will likely never be that close. I'm also not super close with my own mom -- good and respectful relationship, but we're not tight.

So I guess I think you are wrong OP. Some MILs with sons might be like that, but mine definitely isn't. I think a lot just depends on if your MIL has universally good MIL qualities. Is she secure in herself? Does she have good boundaries? Is she thoughtful or kind? Etc. If your MIL is like this I don't think it matters what genders her kids are.

+1. Mine was all pissed at me because I didn’t want to do all my wedding dress shopping with her in another state. My own mom didn’t expect that from me! It was a little insight into mom’s unreasonable expectations for their daughters that I didn’t previously have because my mom is pretty chill about stuff like that. She isn’t trying to live her life through me—just wants me to call a couple times a month and visit once every couple of years. My MIL wanted to bully me about having kids, expected me to take on all the family stuff her own son had no interest in, etc.

[Anonymous]

MIL only has sons and is more of a man’s woman. She doesn’t like women and isn’t very motherly. Her house isn’t where her family convenes and she doesn’t ever invite anyone over for meals or holidays. We have a respectful relationship but I wouldn’t say its close.