I hate weekend parenting - anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the best things we ever did starting last April that I have zero regrets about is having an overnight sitter every other Friday from 5pm-11am Saturday. Sometimes the hours may change slightly, depending on weekend schedule and there are times we don't need her because of holidays, out of town, etc (where she's still compensated of course and can depend on this income without worry.) We might go out within an hour of her arrival, or 3-4 hours later, or decide to just stay in, same with morning, going out for breakfast or staying in, but just having that general feeling of knowing the kids (3 year old twins) are covered for care and we're free to do what we want is amazing. We aren't well off by DCUM standards but absolutely prioritize this. Makes those weekends so much better. We pay $360 for 18 hours, fyi.

You must have a large house that having a sitter around for 18 hours on nights when you might not even go out doesn't feel horribly awkward. If you stay in and the kids go to bed (at 3 I'm guessing they are in bed by like 7:30 right) what does the sitter do? Just seems bizarre. I get having a regular date-night sitter but I'd just hire her for the same 5-6 hours every week and then, if we wanted to do an overnights somewhere or were going to be out very late, ask her well in advance if she'd like to do an overnight on that specific night and make like triple her usual amount. It's not the money, it's the weirdness I'd feel about having a non-family member hanging around while we're there, including on Saturday morning which is usually a very cozy, private time for my family.

Our house is 2700 square feet. It's a good size for our four person family, but no mansion. Our bedroom is downstairs, kids' and guest bedrooms are upstairs, as well as the playroom. The twins generally sleep from 8:30-get up anywhere between 6/7. I am NOT a morning person at all. Even with needing to be up during the week by 5:30am, I still sleep between 12/2am. True, we could just have a date night sitter but just that two mornings a month of not having to worry about getting up is huge and works for us Andis an easy gig for the sitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with nobody being able to handle your kids?

Other than that this sounds like most parents' lives. You are kind of in a Groundhog day situation for now.

It's not that I can't handle them. It's that it's unenjoyable. I don't quite want to say it's miserable because that's too far. But I am a goal oriented person who likes to cross things off a list and get things done. I don't want to stop to look at the weed growing in the crack of the sidewalk or wonder what if some random thing that doesn't exist will never happen. I want to fold the laundry while listening to a podcast and put it all away. I don't want to wait for children to slowly match the socks all while talking nonstop. I could go on and on.

Please read up on mindfulness. It will change your life. This sounds like a sad way to live. You’re literally not stopping to smell the roses (or watch the weed).

Yeah, you know I really don't care. My world just doesn't revolve around my kids and I'm perfectly fine with that. I know a lot of people pride themselves on being martyrs and perfect Pineterest parents, but that's not my goal. I will raise competent, kind and productive children who in some way or ways, make the world a better place. But my world doesn't revolve around them and it's okay if they know that.

I really hate this attitude. So much arrogance. And you know who loses out? Your children. It has zero to do with Pinterest or being a martyr. That’s a construct you’ve made up to defend your indifference to parenting. As if spending lots of quality time with your kids means you are a martyr. What a horrible outlook. I hope your thinking evolves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t “weekend parenting” just parenting?

This thread has me confused too. Pretty depressing.

[Anonymous]

Are definitely many others here who can commiserate with you. Since you have nannies and babysitters, that is a huge help, but in general, if you want to avoid the furious weekend tornado of chores and activities, you need to do two things:

1. Outsource (dry cleaning, cleaning service, TaskRabbit, grocery pick up)

2. Make a schedule of tasks to complete during the week after the kids go to bed. I totally understand that is when all of us are exhausted and just want to sit down, but if you want any ounce of weekend freedom, you can’t let the house go to crap in the mail pile up during the week. It’s not very sexy, but I made a chore schedule that has been very helpful to follow during the week. Nothing crazy, just designated days for tasks: Monday is washing all towels and linens; dusting the downstairs; and going through mail. Tuesday is washing the kids clothes and ordering groceries. Wednesday is dropping the dry cleaning; cleaning the playroom; and wiping down the fridge shelves. The majority of times I can get these tasks done, one split with my husband, in 30 minutes. It has given us lots more time back on weekends, and also gives me a boost to know I am not living in a dirty and messy house and have a looming list of things to do come Saturday morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with nobody being able to handle your kids?

Other than that this sounds like most parents' lives. You are kind of in a Groundhog day situation for now.

It's not that I can't handle them. It's that it's unenjoyable. I don't quite want to say it's miserable because that's too far. But I am a goal oriented person who likes to cross things off a list and get things done. I don't want to stop to look at the weed growing in the crack of the sidewalk or wonder what if some random thing that doesn't exist will never happen. I want to fold the laundry while listening to a podcast and put it all away. I don't want to wait for children to slowly match the socks all while talking nonstop. I could go on and on.

Please read up on mindfulness. It will change your life. This sounds like a sad way to live. You’re literally not stopping to smell the roses (or watch the weed).

Yeah, you know I really don't care. My world just doesn't revolve around my kids and I'm perfectly fine with that. I know a lot of people pride themselves on being martyrs and perfect Pineterest parents, but that's not my goal. I will raise competent, kind and productive children who in some way or ways, make the world a better place. But my world doesn't revolve around them and it's okay if they know that.

Is this OP? You are making yourself miserable, and want people to commiserate with not wanting to be a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with nobody being able to handle your kids?

Other than that this sounds like most parents' lives. You are kind of in a Groundhog day situation for now.

It's not that I can't handle them. It's that it's unenjoyable. I don't quite want to say it's miserable because that's too far. But I am a goal oriented person who likes to cross things off a list and get things done. I don't want to stop to look at the weed growing in the crack of the sidewalk or wonder what if some random thing that doesn't exist will never happen. I want to fold the laundry while listening to a podcast and put it all away. I don't want to wait for children to slowly match the socks all while talking nonstop. I could go on and on.

Please read up on mindfulness. It will change your life. This sounds like a sad way to live. You’re literally not stopping to smell the roses (or watch the weed).

Yeah, you know I really don't care. My world just doesn't revolve around my kids and I'm perfectly fine with that. I know a lot of people pride themselves on being martyrs and perfect Pineterest parents, but that's not my goal. I will raise competent, kind and productive children who in some way or ways, make the world a better place. But my world doesn't revolve around them and it's okay if they know that.

I really hate this attitude. So much arrogance. And you know who loses out? Your children. It has zero to do with Pinterest or being a martyr. That’s a construct you’ve made up to defend your indifference to parenting. As if spending lots of quality time with your kids means you are a martyr. What a horrible outlook. I hope your thinking evolves.

+1. The last time I used Pinterest was for my younger child’s 1st birthday party… 3 years ago. I don’t need Pinterest to tell me that taking leisurely walks with my young child or letting them “help” me with my chores promotes bonding. And kids definitely know when the adults in their lives enjoy spending time with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with nobody being able to handle your kids?

Other than that this sounds like most parents' lives. You are kind of in a Groundhog day situation for now.

It's not that I can't handle them. It's that it's unenjoyable. I don't quite want to say it's miserable because that's too far. But I am a goal oriented person who likes to cross things off a list and get things done. I don't want to stop to look at the weed growing in the crack of the sidewalk or wonder what if some random thing that doesn't exist will never happen. I want to fold the laundry while listening to a podcast and put it all away. I don't want to wait for children to slowly match the socks all while talking nonstop. I could go on and on.

Please read up on mindfulness. It will change your life. This sounds like a sad way to live. You’re literally not stopping to smell the roses (or watch the weed).

Yeah, you know I really don't care. My world just doesn't revolve around my kids and I'm perfectly fine with that. I know a lot of people pride themselves on being martyrs and perfect Pineterest parents, but that's not my goal. I will raise competent, kind and productive children who in some way or ways, make the world a better place. But my world doesn't revolve around them and it's okay if they know that.

Op, is this you or someone pretending to be you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with nobody being able to handle your kids?

Other than that this sounds like most parents' lives. You are kind of in a Groundhog day situation for now.

It's not that I can't handle them. It's that it's unenjoyable. I don't quite want to say it's miserable because that's too far. But I am a goal oriented person who likes to cross things off a list and get things done. I don't want to stop to look at the weed growing in the crack of the sidewalk or wonder what if some random thing that doesn't exist will never happen. I want to fold the laundry while listening to a podcast and put it all away. I don't want to wait for children to slowly match the socks all while talking nonstop. I could go on and on.

Please read up on mindfulness. It will change your life. This sounds like a sad way to live. You’re literally not stopping to smell the roses (or watch the weed).

Yeah, you know I really don't care. My world just doesn't revolve around my kids and I'm perfectly fine with that. I know a lot of people pride themselves on being martyrs and perfect Pineterest parents, but that's not my goal. I will raise competent, kind and productive children who in some way or ways, make the world a better place. But my world doesn't revolve around them and it's okay if they know that.

Different PP I’m about as far from a mommy martyr as it gets. I’m saying this kindly, but a therapist might be helpful. It’s going to be pretty sad when your kids are grown and you’ve missed their whole childhood due to indifference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate all pandemic parenting days and sometimes I wonder why I had kids it’s that bad.

If you were parented with love and attention, you will bestow the same to your children. The WASP parenting is based on individualism and so parents want children to not take up their time. It shows up in the kinds of people they raise. Self-centered, individualistic, incapable of reciprocity, prone to depression and anxiety, incapable of being good parents.

You had kids because you had a checklist. It is not as if you are bonded to your kids or like them.

[Anonymous]

Op it gets better. I felt like you when my kids were just a few years younger. Now they are 2, 5 and 7 and we have a ton of fun on the weekends. I try and plan play dates with friends at least once a weekend. If it’s nice we always go to a park. My DH works a lot of weekends so it’s just me by myself during the day with the kids. I genuinely have fun taking them places and talking with them. We sing and listen to a lot of music and talk about everything.

Yes a lot of it is repetition - feed them, clean up, naps, feed them again. But the days go pretty quickly. I like weekends better than weekdays where I have to rush to get everyone out of the house at a certain time, work all day and rush again in the evenings.

Remember the days are long but the years are short.

[Anonymous]

All I can think of when I read parents lament that they hate parenting is that they will unleash their poorly parented mentally ill kids on society that my kids will live in.

I wish these people were infertile and never had kids. I really wish that their children were never born.

[Anonymous]

you need to divide and conquer. Also, outsource as many domestic chores as you can. I find it ludicrous that so called educated people keep talking about how hard parenting is but they have not taken the time to create their support system. Parenting should be your priority and cannot be put in the same category as cleaning your house. You cannot do everything well so things like cleaning, cooking, laundry, yard work - these should be outsourced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with nobody being able to handle your kids?

Other than that this sounds like most parents' lives. You are kind of in a Groundhog day situation for now.

It's not that I can't handle them. It's that it's unenjoyable. I don't quite want to say it's miserable because that's too far. But I am a goal oriented person who likes to cross things off a list and get things done. I don't want to stop to look at the weed growing in the crack of the sidewalk or wonder what if some random thing that doesn't exist will never happen. I want to fold the laundry while listening to a podcast and put it all away. I don't want to wait for children to slowly match the socks all while talking nonstop. I could go on and on.

Please read up on mindfulness. It will change your life. This sounds like a sad way to live. You’re literally not stopping to smell the roses (or watch the weed).

Yeah, you know I really don't care. My world just doesn't revolve around my kids and I'm perfectly fine with that. I know a lot of people pride themselves on being martyrs and perfect Pineterest parents, but that's not my goal. I will raise competent, kind and productive children who in some way or ways, make the world a better place. But my world doesn't revolve around them and it's okay if they know that.

Op, is this you or someone pretending to be you?

Someone pretending again. Don’t people have better things to do with their time? Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weekends are your only time with the kids. You need a new nanny if she cannot handle them. Hire a housekeeper.

m

I am around them all the time, I can only afford 40
Hours for our nanny and it’s a huge sacrifice. I telework so it’s nonstop. The older one is in a nursery school part day but otherwise my only break is working in my office. It’s unrelenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it helps, I’m a SAHM and I also have mixed feelings about weekends. Like, it’s slightly different because my spouse isn’t working…as much? But what I really want is to be alone in my house for a few hours which is impossible. I have to leave for a few hours for my “me” time. But a lot of times that just means running errands and sitting alone in my car which is actually glorious but also kind of sad. I do have hobbies but it’s not always easy to schedule everything right.

PS what up, parking lot sitting fam! I see you, but I won’t look at you, I promise. We’re all just here alone together enjoying our chipotle and a podcast in a Covid-free environment where we’re not at risk of anyone talking to us, am I right? Love to you all.

I'm right there with you! My husband also works from home (thanks, covid!) and if I go up to my room for some alone time, he thinks that I want to chit chat or more. The last thing I want to do is chit chat or more with pretty much the only other person I talk to during the week. So car park it is! Who knew grocery shopping could take 3 hours ...