I hate weekend parenting - anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weekend parenting?

You mean you hate being a parent.

Everything you listed is you BEING a parent on the days when you're responsible for the care of your kids.

Lol I’m responsible for my kids 24-7. You’re out to lunch. Because I have a nanny in my house when I’m working doesn’t mean the same thing as being in the office with the nanny at home. I basically have to manage her, my toddler’s schedule, my partner’s schedule (because we share a workspace and have limited space to do Zoom meetings with camera on) and deal with constant interruptions and screams in the background. Working like this is my only break. Going to the office used to be my break and I could do whatever I wanted in my day. Lunch, coffee, take a walk, go where I wanted. Utter freedom compared to this

[Anonymous]

It's not that you don't like weekend parenting, it's that you don't like parenting, period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not that you don't like weekend parenting, it's that you don't like parenting, period.

This is such false binary, and thanks for pretending you know my feelings better than I do, internet stranger. I can dislike parenting sometimes and like it sometimes. I can vent about the difficulties of pandemic parenting for young kids and be burned out and exhausted and have no support and still love them and be a good parent. Being a good parent doesn’t mean you never get to complain. Parenting under 5s is hard. Some kids are much harder than others. We are all in a storm, some of us in yachts and some of us in row boats taking on water while we are trying to stay afloat. There’s no point in continuing this thread, some of you just have nothing better to do that throw stones.

[Anonymous]

OP I don't think you hate weekend parenting. I think you hate weekends. Because of your kids and all the stuff you have to do when you're not working, it seems like work is you break. But the fact is you never get a break, it's just that work is easier.

On a different note, I am in a totally different situation but I actually hate weekend "parenting" too. I am a SAHM and I homeschool one of my two kids. It's hard to homeschool him (special needs), but for five hours I just have one thing I need to do: school. We have a routine for school and the rest of the day (morning and evening extracurriculars, dinner, etc) and it's the same every day. After school, because I have spent time with one kid during the day, I feel okay letting him do his own thing and then hanging out with my oldest one-on-one. I wouldn't say my days are easy but they are rewarding.

But on weekends I have way more balls up in the air, there's far less structure, and there are two kids instead of just one. It's definitely not as bad as what OP is going through, but it is weird to me that I hate weekends so much. I have started to insist on my husband taking the kids for an hour during weekends so I can have some time to myself, and that has been helpful. I still always look forward to Mondays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not that you don't like weekend parenting, it's that you don't like parenting, period.

This is such false binary, and thanks for pretending you know my feelings better than I do, internet stranger. I can dislike parenting sometimes and like it sometimes. I can vent about the difficulties of pandemic parenting for young kids and be burned out and exhausted and have no support and still love them and be a good parent. Being a good parent doesn’t mean you never get to complain. Parenting under 5s is hard. Some kids are much harder than others. We are all in a storm, some of us in yachts and some of us in row boats taking on water while we are trying to stay afloat. There’s no point in continuing this thread, some of you just have nothing better to do that throw stones.

Please. You like parenting when you have a nanny to help. You don't like it when you and your husband do it on your own. I didn't set up this binary, you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weekend parenting?

You mean you hate being a parent.

Everything you listed is you BEING a parent on the days when you're responsible for the care of your kids.

Lol I’m responsible for my kids 24-7. You’re out to lunch. Because I have a nanny in my house when I’m working doesn’t mean the same thing as being in the office with the nanny at home. I basically have to manage her, my toddler’s schedule, my partner’s schedule (because we share a workspace and have limited space to do Zoom meetings with camera on) and deal with constant interruptions and screams in the background. Working like this is my only break. Going to the office used to be my break and I could do whatever I wanted in my day. Lunch, coffee, take a walk, go where I wanted. Utter freedom compared to this

You "have to?" Really? You wouldn't be managing her schedule if you were in the office, so don't do it now. Sounds like a lot of the stress in your life is self-inflicted.

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean, OP. I have a 4yo and 1yo. I don't hate it, but it is exhausting. Sometimes I find myself looking forward to Monday morning so I can get to work and drink coffee in peace and quiet.

Do your kids nap? My 1yo takes a 2-3hr nap and I usually let the 4yo watch a show for part of that time so I have a break to get some chores done or answer a few emails.

Also, at least the weather is starting to turn now...spring will be easier.

[Anonymous]

While I understand what OP and others are talking about and struggle with it too, I agree there is some overzealous complaining going on. My DH and I both work, we have never been able to afford a nanny, we stopped at one kid because of the cost of childcare. Our kid is int full day preschool but the aftercare is crazy expensive so she comes home at 3 and we juggle hanging out with her while finishing up our work day, which often means working at night. We have no local family and our families aren't very supportive generally (another reason we stopped at one kid when we realized how not supportive they were). Our HHI is 130k, which isn't poor but isn't rich, but we can't just move outside the DMV either because one of us works in a field that is specific to this area and requires several days of in person work every week.

So yes, I get that weekend parenting of children under 5 can be exhausting. I'm sure it's even harder with 2 or 3 kids -- that is obvious.

But I also think the level of kvetching going on in this thread by people who are obviously well off enough to afford a lot of conveniences is over the top. Are weekends sometimes a slog, especially if the weather is crap and you can't just kill a few hours at the playground or hiking or some other outdoor activity? Yes. But do I "hate weekend parenting" generally? No, absolutely not. I like having that time with my DH and DD where we can set our own schedule and do what we want without having to worry about school schedule or work. The pandemic makes things harder but at this stage, with good masks and DH and I both vaccinated, we have tons of indoor options that we didn't used to feel comfortable doing. I think if your youngest struggles with mask wearing, you work on that at this point. We went through that too and it's a process but we figured it out. If you have a nanny it should be even easier because like a lot of things you can outsource some of it to your nanny.

I just think if you treat this time as miserable and unbearable because you don't have "enough support" you are missing out on some great times with your kids. They are hard at this age but also really fun and I'm grateful for this time before ours is old enough to realize her parents are boring and uncool and she wants to hang out with someone else . It's really not that bad and there are upsides. I remember back in my 20s when I was single and had no kids and some weekends I'd feel so lonely because my friends were out of town or I had to work or I just didn't have any plans. At least now I always have plans and people I love to spend time with. That's really nice.

Also I'm not above setting up my kid with some breakfast and an hour of Peppa Pig on a Saturday morning so DH and I can sleep in and relax a bit.

Really, this isn't the tragedy you seem to think it is.

[Anonymous]

All this chatter, and OP, I think the issue may boil down to: you have a 1 year old (and a preschooler) in a pandemic. From 15 mo - 2 yrs is the most intensive "barely walking, constantly falling, completely dependent" phase. Add probable separation anxiety and imperfect sleep as well, and constantly messing with your 5 yr old and their stuff? And then of course, pandemic & no vax yet. Please! By the time your youngest is more like 3 or 4, you'll be fine. This part of parenting isn't fun simply because *this part* of parenting is not fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so sad and indicative of how a lot of millennial parents feel about childrearing, including many in my orbit.

To the parents who complain about having to spend time with their young children: why did you decide to have children in the first place if you don't enjoy being around them? I'm genuinely curious.

Kids grow up so fast! Once they're 11 or 12, they no longer want to have anything to do with you. Enjoy your time together while you are still their world.

NP - parenting the last couple years isn't what parenting is supposed to be like! doing it alone in your house (maybe with a nanny) without mom friends and playdates and places to take your kids on weekends and the ability to have a babysitter to go out to dinner and family bbqs and visitors etc etc etc. Adults are made to spend endless hours alone with their kids and thats what the last couple years have been. I moved 2 years ago and have made exactly one friend b/c at school drop off we are expected to distance and shove our 3yos in the door, people have started going to play spaces again but no one is chatting etc. Weekends are miserable - not because i don't love my kids but because parenting in these isolated vacuums isn't normal!

Oh give me a break! My kids are middle schoolers now, so we had no pandemic when they were toddlers. We rarely socialized with friends on weekends unless it was a birthday party. It was our “family time” - we went on hikes, activities, museums, out to eat, explored town, puttered around at home, went to the park and library. Yeah certain things have been closed during the pandemic, but not so much anymore. Staying inside all the time IS depressing, but that’s a choice you make, certainly not a requirement.

Half the stuff you mentioned doing CANNOT BE DONE during the past few years. What don't you understand about that?

It can all be done now. So do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weekend parenting?

You mean you hate being a parent.

Everything you listed is you BEING a parent on the days when you're responsible for the care of your kids.

Lol I’m responsible for my kids 24-7. You’re out to lunch. Because I have a nanny in my house when I’m working doesn’t mean the same thing as being in the office with the nanny at home. I basically have to manage her, my toddler’s schedule, my partner’s schedule (because we share a workspace and have limited space to do Zoom meetings with camera on) and deal with constant interruptions and screams in the background. Working like this is my only break. Going to the office used to be my break and I could do whatever I wanted in my day. Lunch, coffee, take a walk, go where I wanted. Utter freedom compared to this

You "have to?" Really? You wouldn't be managing her schedule if you were in the office, so don't do it now. Sounds like a lot of the stress in your life is self-inflicted.

+1. I empathize with PP because as an introvert, I didn't love having a nanny there when I was WFH, but if "managing her" is causing stress, it's either because PP is micromanaging or because the nanny is needing handholding. I would guess the former. My nanny said she turned down a lot of jobs with WFH parents because they micromanaged from the other room/ couldn't let her do her job. An experienced nanny will not require hands-on "managing" while you are working from home (and during good weather, will get the kid out of the house).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weekend parenting?

You mean you hate being a parent.

Everything you listed is you BEING a parent on the days when you're responsible for the care of your kids.

Lol I’m responsible for my kids 24-7. You’re out to lunch. Because I have a nanny in my house when I’m working doesn’t mean the same thing as being in the office with the nanny at home. I basically have to manage her, my toddler’s schedule, my partner’s schedule (because we share a workspace and have limited space to do Zoom meetings with camera on) and deal with constant interruptions and screams in the background. Working like this is my only break. Going to the office used to be my break and I could do whatever I wanted in my day. Lunch, coffee, take a walk, go where I wanted. Utter freedom compared to this

If you have a nanny, you shouldn't be responsible for your kids during the work day. That's the whole point of having a nanny. Why do you have to manage her and the kid's schedule? I do understand being distracted by kid noise, but just because a kid is crying or making noise doesn't mean you need to attend to him. Again, that's why you have a nanny. I was a nanny for 6 years with a full-time work from home mom. When she was in her office, she was off limits to the kids. They grew up understanding that when Mom was working, I was in charge. And her office was attached to the kitchen so it's not like she was in a separate part of the house. Now, I do empathize and understand things are much different during a pandemic. I had the luxury of being able to leave the house with the kids and go wherever we wanted during the day. So yes, having the kids home nonstop is stressful. But if the nanny can do it all day every day, I'm pretty sure you should be able to handle it on weekends. If you're having to be that involved during the work day, you're either a control freak or you need a better nanny.

[Anonymous]

I'm completely serious when I tell you that living in a neighborhood that is "less desireable" was the best thing I ever did for parenting. No one cared that I neglected my yard for 10 years while I was parenting. I let it go. I let many things go. And then we went out into the world and had tons of fun.
Also, playdates and like-minded adult friends help A LOT. They make what would otherwise be tedious fun and offer commiseration.

[Anonymous]

Wow so many sensitive Gen X feelings on here!

1. Stop trolling the infant board giving us patronizing advice
2. Gen X politicians are most of the problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow so many sensitive Gen X feelings on here!

1. Stop trolling the infant board giving us patronizing advice
2. Gen X politicians are most of the problem

Uh.. sure, Ashley. Sure. Can’t wait until the millennial politicians come and fix everything.