Do you expect an appetizer/small nibble when you're invited for dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only day I skip an appetizer is Thanksgiving. The dinner food is the star. If you don’t offer a drink and app, does everyone sit down to dinner within 15 minutes of arrival? Potentially, your guests could be fed and gone within the hour. I prefer an evening in my home to move a little slower.

Do you have overnight guests? Or if people are arriving, how long do you wait before you serve dinner?

When my ILs host, we are overnight guests, and they don’t serve anything between breakfast (one muffin and one hard-boiled egg each) and don’t serve anything until 3 or 4 p.m. It’s awful.

When we host, we have a little breakfast, then set up appetizers as lunch around lunchtime; people can eat as much or as little as they want. Then we eat a proper dinner at 5 p.m.

+1 Thanksgiving is actually the one time when I do two or three rounds of appetizers. I don't do a big lunch and dinner is served at 3. People start arriving at noon and that's the first round of appetizers. Another round goes out at 1 or so, and the final round at 2. Basically by 2 there is enough of an appetizer bar that it makes up for no big lunch. But Thanksgiving is a day of feasting and everyone is so busy, playing out in the yard or running around in the house, that it isn't like they aren't working off the calories.

I'm confused -- so there IS a "not big" lunch in addition to three rounds of appetizers and dinner at 3? When do you serve this not-big lunch, 10am?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only day I skip an appetizer is Thanksgiving. The dinner food is the star. If you don’t offer a drink and app, does everyone sit down to dinner within 15 minutes of arrival? Potentially, your guests could be fed and gone within the hour. I prefer an evening in my home to move a little slower.

Do you have overnight guests? Or if people are arriving, how long do you wait before you serve dinner?

When my ILs host, we are overnight guests, and they don’t serve anything between breakfast (one muffin and one hard-boiled egg each) and don’t serve anything until 3 or 4 p.m. It’s awful.

When we host, we have a little breakfast, then set up appetizers as lunch around lunchtime; people can eat as much or as little as they want. Then we eat a proper dinner at 5 p.m.

You are at in-laws. They don’t have to serve you for you to eat. Just open the frig. They are your spouse’s parents, not some distant acquaintance where helping yourself to food might be awkward

[Anonymous]

A rare DCUM consensus!

[Anonymous]

Yes of course I expect some sort of appetizer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only day I skip an appetizer is Thanksgiving. The dinner food is the star. If you don’t offer a drink and app, does everyone sit down to dinner within 15 minutes of arrival? Potentially, your guests could be fed and gone within the hour. I prefer an evening in my home to move a little slower.

Do you have overnight guests? Or if people are arriving, how long do you wait before you serve dinner?

When my ILs host, we are overnight guests, and they don’t serve anything between breakfast (one muffin and one hard-boiled egg each) and don’t serve anything until 3 or 4 p.m. It’s awful.

When we host, we have a little breakfast, then set up appetizers as lunch around lunchtime; people can eat as much or as little as they want. Then we eat a proper dinner at 5 p.m.

You are at in-laws. They don’t have to serve you for you to eat. Just open the frig. They are your spouse’s parents, not some distant acquaintance where helping yourself to food might be awkward

Hahahahaha! Google “DCUM Burger King Lady,” read the threads, and get back to me.

[Anonymous]

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this, but Julia Child was known for putting out a bowl of Goldfish crackers at happy hour. Ever since I read that, I’ve made it a go-to. People with kids love to see familiar foods, and they’re not nostalgic for people without kids.

But to answer the question, yes, I “expect” and serve munchies & cocktails. But if they weren’t served I wouldn’t be aghast. Can’t recall a dinner party without.

And in honesty, I prefer heavy apps to a seated meal for most dinner parties. A seated meal is hard for most cooks to pull off.

[Anonymous]

I host a lot (1-2 times weekly) and always have appetizers out. It’s expected.

I usually have 2-3 nice cheeses, olives, 1-2 types of crackers, some prosciutto or thin salami (one spicy, one not) from our Italian deli. Some grapes or berries to decorate. If kids, chips/salsa, carrots, goldfish too.

It doesn’t have to be much, and I often re-serve the cheeses and olives/meats that aren’t eaten a few days later. So any time I go to the deli I am picking up a couple nice items, but not the whole thing every time.

I am a very good cook, so everyone knows not to fill up too much.

I actually think that serving 45 minutes out from start time is ideal. Some people tend to run 15 minutes late, so that is comfortable for all, but not slow for the hungry ones. 30 minutes seems a bit rushed…I need a few minutes to greet everyone and say a few words. DH serves the drinks. Then I put finishing touches on the dishes quickly.

This is for a formal meal. I roll more casual for things like a Super Bowl party, which is app-heavy of the kind suitable for spreading our on our large coffee table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only day I skip an appetizer is Thanksgiving. The dinner food is the star. If you don’t offer a drink and app, does everyone sit down to dinner within 15 minutes of arrival? Potentially, your guests could be fed and gone within the hour. I prefer an evening in my home to move a little slower.

Do you have overnight guests? Or if people are arriving, how long do you wait before you serve dinner?

When my ILs host, we are overnight guests, and they don’t serve anything between breakfast (one muffin and one hard-boiled egg each) and don’t serve anything until 3 or 4 p.m. It’s awful.

When we host, we have a little breakfast, then set up appetizers as lunch around lunchtime; people can eat as much or as little as they want. Then we eat a proper dinner at 5 p.m.

+1 Thanksgiving is actually the one time when I do two or three rounds of appetizers. I don't do a big lunch and dinner is served at 3. People start arriving at noon and that's the first round of appetizers. Another round goes out at 1 or so, and the final round at 2. Basically by 2 there is enough of an appetizer bar that it makes up for no big lunch. But Thanksgiving is a day of feasting and everyone is so busy, playing out in the yard or running around in the house, that it isn't like they aren't working off the calories.

I'm confused -- so there IS a "not big" lunch in addition to three rounds of appetizers and dinner at 3? When do you serve this not-big lunch, 10am?

Sigh. Perhaps she serves an "early" dinner? That's what we do. Our regular dinnertime is 7:30 pm but on Thanksgiving it is at 3. I don't get your condescension. Are you normally so rude? DP.

[Anonymous]

at a minimum I put out pistachios, apple slices, a cheese and olives in case someone needs a nibble while I'm getting dinner out. if kids are over, I add carrot sticks and cheese sticks. Kids can be picky eaters and if they want to get full on cheese sticks and apples, that is fine by me. I'd hate parents to have to ask for something if their child rejects the main dish, so those are usually moved to the sideboard for dinner and are still accessible.
If I'm having lots of people or more special guests, I put out a fancier spread, and plan to serve the dinner a little later.
My inlaws have holiday meals at noon, and I really miss having drinks and snacks for hours while catching up with family before we sit down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only day I skip an appetizer is Thanksgiving. The dinner food is the star. If you don’t offer a drink and app, does everyone sit down to dinner within 15 minutes of arrival? Potentially, your guests could be fed and gone within the hour. I prefer an evening in my home to move a little slower.

Do you have overnight guests? Or if people are arriving, how long do you wait before you serve dinner?

When my ILs host, we are overnight guests, and they don’t serve anything between breakfast (one muffin and one hard-boiled egg each) and don’t serve anything until 3 or 4 p.m. It’s awful.

When we host, we have a little breakfast, then set up appetizers as lunch around lunchtime; people can eat as much or as little as they want. Then we eat a proper dinner at 5 p.m.

+1 Thanksgiving is actually the one time when I do two or three rounds of appetizers. I don't do a big lunch and dinner is served at 3. People start arriving at noon and that's the first round of appetizers. Another round goes out at 1 or so, and the final round at 2. Basically by 2 there is enough of an appetizer bar that it makes up for no big lunch. But Thanksgiving is a day of feasting and everyone is so busy, playing out in the yard or running around in the house, that it isn't like they aren't working off the calories.

I'm confused -- so there IS a "not big" lunch in addition to three rounds of appetizers and dinner at 3? When do you serve this not-big lunch, 10am?

Sigh. Perhaps she serves an "early" dinner? That's what we do. Our regular dinnertime is 7:30 pm but on Thanksgiving it is at 3. I don't get your condescension. Are you normally so rude? DP.

NP. You don’t get to start a post with a condescending and rude “sigh” and then accuse another poster of being condescending and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
With some friends but not others, OP. My closest American friends are non-appetizer people because they're healthy eaters and don't want to waste calories on the usual appetizer fare.

However, I have other friends, from my home country, who culturally can't invite people over without an appetizer. Usually it's very small portions, but it's to make the point that we're having a dinner party and that it's not just an every day dinner. Last time it was smoked salmon on little pieces of puffed pastry for one friend, and my other friend just really likes artisan saucisson.

So... know your audience?

I’m health conscious and just take appetizers into account? Or you can have healthy options like crudités.

[Anonymous]

I typically put out things that complement the meal I'm planning to serve. I.consider it part of the dinner I'm hosting. I don't try to make my guests hungry so that they are forced to enjoy the main course.

[Anonymous]

I put out appetizers even when it’s just my own little family. Usually cheese, crackers, and fruit. Something to snack on while I finish up dinner. When we have company over, of course I have appetizers available.

[Anonymous]

I expect a small nibble. Simply for the fact that most people can’t cook and I don’t want to starve.

[Anonymous]

Appetizers, yes. Even just cheese and crackers, or fruit and nuts, or whatever. It doesn’t have to be elaborate at all.