Do you expect an appetizer/small nibble when you're invited for dinner?

[Anonymous]

I will set out something small like nuts, olives, dried fruit and serve a drink.

[Anonymous]

As a guest I don’t care either way but as a host I always offer something when they arrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Settle this debate for me. My sister and I live close to each other and often have a similar group of people over for dinner. She always serves a platter of cheese and crackers before the main meal (generally something like pork tenderloin with vegetables). My vote is to skip the appetizer so people are more hungry and can really enjoy the main meal. My sister says people will be starving and expect a nibble.

Thoughts?

Is your sister fat?

[Anonymous]

I don’t expect snacks and appetizers- but I do always provide them. My husband says I’m “extra”, but friends seem to think I’m a good hostess.

[Anonymous]

Expect it no
Appreciate it yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t expect snacks and appetizers- but I do always provide them. My husband says I’m “extra”, but friends seem to think I’m a good hostess.

It is a sad sign of the times when setting out basic appetizers before a dinner “party” is considered being “extra.”

[Anonymous]

I hosted a lunch today and served strawberries and grapes while I was finishing our main course.

As for “Asian” custom my Bangladeshi family always serves nibbles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t expect snacks and appetizers- but I do always provide them. My husband says I’m “extra”, but friends seem to think I’m a good hostess.

It is a sad sign of the times when setting out basic appetizers before a dinner “party” is considered being “extra.”

I agree. To me that's just being a good host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
With some friends but not others, OP. My closest American friends are non-appetizer people because they're healthy eaters and don't want to waste calories on the usual appetizer fare.

However, I have other friends, from my home country, who culturally can't invite people over without an appetizer. Usually it's very small portions, but it's to make the point that we're having a dinner party and that it's not just an every day dinner. Last time it was smoked salmon on little pieces of puffed pastry for one friend, and my other friend just really likes artisan saucisson.

So... know your audience?

Me again. I just realized that it's because none of us drink alcohol on a regular basis. So we just talk, then have dinner. And for my compatriots, we eat appetizers while drinking non-alcoholic drinks with one family, and alcohol with the other. If drinks are served before the meal, then of course it does seem strange to not serve anything with them.

For the PP who wondered where appetizers are not served regularly, Asian countries? I have never been served drinks and appetizers in Japan before a meal.

Have you ever gone to dinner at someone’s house or with others at a restaurant in Japan? In both cases we have appetizers at the table but there is tons of stuff, often light) as there are also tons of drinks before a meal, although their meals are also often served in multiple courses so slightly different. Are you serving 5+ course seated meals Op? If so a lack of “nibbles” would not be as remembered (although still there would be something light, like toasts
With drinks, even non alcoholic) but I doubt you are

[Anonymous]

Not really. Don’t think I would even think about this. Would not expect it. If offered nice. If not nice. I am just happy to be thought of and invited.

[Anonymous]

I agree with your sister. Why do you think appetizers exist?

[Anonymous]

Depends I guess.

For pizza/salad I'd probably make drinks and maybe set out nuts or something and eat shortly after arrival, because it's casual.

For most meals though I set out something. Chips/guac, cheese/crackers/grapes, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. A small nibble is fine but the big platters of cheese don't make sense to me. It's a lot of rich food and before a full meal so by the time the meal comes many people have filled up on cheese.

Well presumably they know they are there for dinner and not a cheese platter so if they shove it all in before dinner is served that's their business. You did your due diligence as a hostess.

[Anonymous]

Having a few bites available is never a bad idea. It looks pretty, it’s welcoming, and you have no idea if someone is sugar crashing. Some of these, but not alll. Small bowl of nuts, a few olives, something sweet like fruit or dried fruit, a bit of cheese, bread or crackers, a few veg if you prefer veg/hummus (I do). It doesn’t have to be a large fancy board. Just a few things so folks can settle in and no one feels rushed to table. Especially if you are still cooking or serve any alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m fine either way. Just dinner is fine.

Same but we were also invited to dinner once that was like from The Office “the osso bucco just has to braise for 4 hours” “4 hours from now or 4 hours from like 3 o’clock?”

It obviously wasn’t exactly like that but they hadn’t even started on *anything* and then everyone could hear them arguing over whether or not the fish was done. It was AWFUL. The “nibbles” were long gone at that point.

Then after dinner the hostess offered coffee and DH said yes - I could have killed him right there!!!!!!! That took forever also

A friend of mine does this every time. We actually eat before we go to their house for dinner, because dinner will be around midnight.