Career as a nurse -- DH has a prejudice against it

[Anonymous]

NP. Do you really want your daughter to have to change bedpans, clean up vomit, etc? Money and low barrier to entry are not the only considerations here. Most nursing jobs are labor intensive. Some areas of the country pay more than others, and some types of nurses pay more than others. But the job usually doesn't get easier as one gets older and the long hours on one's feet, scrubbing, cleaning, carrying, etc take a toll on the body.

I respect nurses - it's a hard job, and most people don't realize how hard it is. Why would you want to subject your daughter to that?

Having said that, if she were to follow this route, I recommend Air Force ROTC, which offers full scholarships for nursing school, and your daughter would come out in a few years as an officer with a BSN and veterans benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an RN in California, I made over $100K a year with 8 years experience. After COVID I left and went into case management (100% telework) and still make $98000. Becoming a nurse was one of the best decisions I have made….

That's great, but as an attorney I make twice that after 3 years and I still work from home 100%. Which one is the better option for the OP?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I would recommend your kids avoid pink collar jobs: nursing, teaching, interior designer, librarian, etc. Even though they often require extensive training, skill, and hard work, they tend to pay less under the guise of being "family friendly" while high paid tech bros roll online at 10am in their pajamas and make 4x as much.

I disagree. I used to work in finance. I was the only female. I made a lot but I worked with all guys who had stay at home wives. It wasn’t sustainable being a mom. I wish I had a pink collar job. I didn’t even know what that meant until recently.

That’s only because you are married to a DH who makes good money and have kids. My kids for whatever reason are not interested in that at all — maybe they will change but building a career where the man is the plan is not my advice. But I thought nursing was more on par with and engineer or consultant in pay, and if you went into like hospital administration could make near $200k. But maybe I was wrong? Does pediatric nursing pay better, my cousin does that and raves about it (but she lives at home, I thought to allow her to travel and own dogs but maybe it’s more about the money?)

I used to earn 200-300k in finance. My bosses made 500k+ to millions.

Dh was not the plan. I actually thought I would be the breadwinner. I earned more than him when we first got married.

Dh surprised me and was more successful than I expected. He earns seven figures.

Sigh. I guess you couldn’t hold back from rooting your DH horn.

You are exactly the model DH wants for our kids, to pursue high paying lucrative jobs, earn a nest egg, and then either advance, coast, or I guess snag a Big breadwinner.

I was replying to your comment “I wish I had a pink collar job”. You only wish that b/c DH is off making “seven figures”. If you actually had to support your lifestyle off the pink collar job, you would not have “rose pink” colored glasses.

NP but I AM the breadwinner in my family, making three times as much as my husband and I want to remind you that there IS a middle ground between traditionally female jobs like nursing and teaching and high-pressure jobs like i-banking and consulting. In fact MOST jobs are in that in-between. You do need to think outside of the box a little, PP.

I'm confused though - are you the OP talking about how you want your kids to be breadwinners and not have mommy jobs, or have you hijacked the OP's thread?

I am OP. I’m speaking of what my DH wants for them, hence his strong aversion to pink collared jobs which are hard work, low pay, and billed as “caring professions to sucker you in” (his words). He has a somewhat mercantile view of the world and feels you should make as much money as you can early, then either donate to good works or have a “fulfilling” 2nd career. I’m more moderate where I say just aim for a solid UMC career where you can afford a house near us here in DC or a nice thriving city with good schools, saving for retirement, and not plan on a DH to make that happen.

The thread started because I had considered nursing one of those UMC pathway jobs, assuming since doctors make sooo much money, nursing wouldn’t be so bad. But I actually don’t know any nurses (my family is all in tech or business), and DH grew up in a place where a lot of parents were nurses or EMTs, and like the default career for girls at his school was nursing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an RN in California, I made over $100K a year with 8 years experience. After COVID I left and went into case management (100% telework) and still make $98000. Becoming a nurse was one of the best decisions I have made….

That's great, but as an attorney I make twice that after 3 years and I still work from home 100%. Which one is the better option for the OP?

Haha okay, well I got my degree in 2 years and I have zero student loans. I also work part-time hours making that money. How is YOUR work/life balance?

[Anonymous]

I find is weird that OP has decided that nursing must be a good gig and is determined to elicit responses that support her flawed hypothesis. Will you find nurses who say it’s been a good career path? I certainly hope so. But Personally, I couldn’t imagine pressuring my child to go into nursing after the last two years. I would be Encouraging professional careers that offer a path to work remotely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an RN in California, I made over $100K a year with 8 years experience. After COVID I left and went into case management (100% telework) and still make $98000. Becoming a nurse was one of the best decisions I have made….

That's great, but as an attorney I make twice that after 3 years and I still work from home 100%. Which one is the better option for the OP?

Haha okay, well I got my degree in 2 years and I have zero student loans. I also work part-time hours making that money. How is YOUR work/life balance?

It seems like OP wasn’t asking about flexible mommy track type jobs, but the ability to support yourself. $100k in California is like $60k in DC. You couldn’t live off that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an RN in California, I made over $100K a year with 8 years experience. After COVID I left and went into case management (100% telework) and still make $98000. Becoming a nurse was one of the best decisions I have made….

That's great, but as an attorney I make twice that after 3 years and I still work from home 100%. Which one is the better option for the OP?

LOL. The average attorney is a solo or small firm practitioner who's lucky to scrape up $100k a year while hussling. $300k+ per year with 100% work from home is not anywhere near the average outcome for a law student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH grew up in a rural town where like the default path for a LOT of the women in his graduating class was to go into nursing. He wants to dissuade our DD from the field because he feels it is underpaid, over worked, and not given enough respect in the profession. He claims they barely break $100k, despite working long hard hours responsible dozens of patients.

My impression is that there is a nursing shortage, and I would expect salaries to rise to approach $150k or so, a solid professional salary. And if you go into a specialty, like CNP or CNA you can break $200k riveling pediatricans and internist salaries.

Love to hear stories of nurse careers to balance out my DH's long list of RNs scrapping by in rural Georgia!

Maybe you should just let your DD make her own decisions. If she wants to be a nurse, good for her. If she hates it, she can do something else. I know plenty of folks who have done that.

[Anonymous]

If he’s from rural Georgia, I’m willing to bet that the poor people he knew weren’t RNs or CRNAs. They probably did a few months training at a community college and were aides making $15/hour.

[Anonymous]

Going into nursing is the best choice I ever made. So many specialties and jobs out there. Great flexibility. when my kids were little, I could work part time. As they got older, I upped my hours. Now I work in hospital administration making mid-150s.

Lots of second career nurses, too. People who worked as CPAs, lawyers, linguists, etc. who were looking for something where were they can make a difference in someone's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he’s from rural Georgia, I’m willing to bet that the poor people he knew weren’t RNs or CRNAs. They probably did a few months training at a community college and were aides making $15/hour.

No they all went to the state flagship which had a big nursing program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an RN in California, I made over $100K a year with 8 years experience. After COVID I left and went into case management (100% telework) and still make $98000. Becoming a nurse was one of the best decisions I have made….

That's great, but as an attorney I make twice that after 3 years and I still work from home 100%. Which one is the better option for the OP?

Probably depends on her interests and her strengths. Working in bedside patient care is nothing at all like being a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find is weird that OP has decided that nursing must be a good gig and is determined to elicit responses that support her flawed hypothesis. Will you find nurses who say it’s been a good career path? I certainly hope so. But Personally, I couldn’t imagine pressuring my child to go into nursing after the last two years. I would be Encouraging professional careers that offer a path to work remotely.

Didn’t OP say her daughter WANTED to be a nurse but her dad/ OPs husband was actively discouraging it? I’m a nurse and I’ve had a varied career and I can’t imagine doing a different job. I was a hospital nurse for 5 years, then went back to school while working 2 shifts a week to become a nurse practitioner, and I’ve worked in a few roles as an NP (primary care for a few years, then in a pediatric cardiology specialty clinic, and now as a midlevel provider in the pediatric ER). Considering making a change when the kids are older to be an NP in the county school system. I like variety, I like working with people, and I like medicine and nursing is truly a perfect fit for me. My family is UMC in DC and I went to Brown undergrad before Johns Hopkins accelerated BSN nursing program once I graduated Brown (not sure if that program is still there). Only sharing this to point out that I clearly had other career options and my parents clearly had enough money to support me in my choice. This was truly my top choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find is weird that OP has decided that nursing must be a good gig and is determined to elicit responses that support her flawed hypothesis. Will you find nurses who say it’s been a good career path? I certainly hope so. But Personally, I couldn’t imagine pressuring my child to go into nursing after the last two years. I would be Encouraging professional careers that offer a path to work remotely.

Didn’t OP say her daughter WANTED to be a nurse but her dad/ OPs husband was actively discouraging it? I’m a nurse and I’ve had a varied career and I can’t imagine doing a different job. I was a hospital nurse for 5 years, then went back to school while working 2 shifts a week to become a nurse practitioner, and I’ve worked in a few roles as an NP (primary care for a few years, then in a pediatric cardiology specialty clinic, and now as a midlevel provider in the pediatric ER). Considering making a change when the kids are older to be an NP in the county school system. I like variety, I like working with people, and I like medicine and nursing is truly a perfect fit for me. My family is UMC in DC and I went to Brown undergrad before Johns Hopkins accelerated BSN nursing program once I graduated Brown (not sure if that program is still there). Only sharing this to point out that I clearly had other career options and my parents clearly had enough money to support me in my choice. This was truly my top choice.

So you make enough to buy your own home? That seems to be a sticky point for Op

[Anonymous]

OP and her DH have $1 million per year, can’t they help their daughter buy a home?