Big Law and conspicuous shows of wealth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a Kirkland partner who has been a partner for 15 years who recently told me his wife has *never* flown first class. So I really don’t know what people in here are talking about.

Or maybe you don’t realize that Kirkland partners aren’t “really” partners because most are non-equity.

Or maybe I would say NSP if I meant that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are from old money can you really say there’s “lots of money” in big law?

Not even sure what old money means in this context.

Met very few biglaw families like this. They tend more to live large but as a family.

Old money means previous generations were good earners and accumulators, but current beneficiaries of that largesse are underachievers with an unfounded superiority complex and no evident sense of irony.

I know lots of old money people, some family members, who are very hard working and accomplished. There is no doubt they had enormous privilege in getting to where they are, but it is pure fantasy to believe that old money people are a bunch of layabouts.

This is us. I'm personally terrified that we are going to burn thru it all, so we both work and we also married well. My brother actually has a borderline problem with spending any $, despite running a very successful business, in addition to his inheritance. Every time I want to spend my dividends, my mom is like "R, but have you thought of YOUR CHILDREN?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are from old money can you really say there’s “lots of money” in big law?

Not even sure what old money means in this context.

Met very few biglaw families like this. They tend more to live large but as a family.

Old money means previous generations were good earners and accumulators, but current beneficiaries of that largesse are underachievers with an unfounded superiority complex and no evident sense of irony.

I know lots of old money people, some family members, who are very hard working and accomplished. There is no doubt they had enormous privilege in getting to where they are, but it is pure fantasy to believe that old money people are a bunch of layabouts.

This is us. I'm personally terrified that we are going to burn thru it all, so we both work and we also married well. My brother actually has a borderline problem with spending any $, despite running a very successful business, in addition to his inheritance. Every time I want to spend my dividends, my mom is like "R, but have you thought of YOUR CHILDREN?"

All the old money people we know seem so unhappy.

There are some people with just money who also come from old money but they spend like new money whatever that means.

I am a child of immigrants. My parents were elite in their home country. I grew up poor in the US. I worked hard, went to Harvard, met my very hard working husband who is top of his industry now and making a high seven figure income. I guess we are new money. We save and invest most of our money. We also are generous to our family. Our kids are thriving. We are happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of Big Law folks here. Lots of money in Big Law. I'm from an "old money" fiscally conservative family, so my question if more about culture than resources. I have several friends (3) in Big Law who are quite showy, always buying gifts for me and my kids (and everyone else in their circle). Celebrations with them are always over the top. At times it makes me uncomfortable. I'm positive it makes some friends in our larger social circle uncomfortable. It might come from a place of insecurity, I don't really know. These are very kind, smart folks, and I enjoy their company, but not necessarily this particular aspect of our friendship. Should I just ignore it? Give a subtle hint (if so, how)? If it is coming from a place of insecurity, I don't want to make that feeling worse. For now, I do ignore it.

Troll, seriously. No true old money person would reach middle age without already being well-schooled in how to the navigate flashy money people and new money people.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. I think it is sad when an unaccomplished person who comes from old money puts down others. They somehow think they are superior because their grandfather used to be rich. These people aren’t Rockefeller rich. They just go around thinking they are better.

Op somehow feels uncomfortable that another successful person is too generous and throws big parties. Isn’t that what a rich person should do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are from old money can you really say there’s “lots of money” in big law?

Not even sure what old money means in this context.

Met very few biglaw families like this. They tend more to live large but as a family.

Old money means previous generations were good earners and accumulators, but current beneficiaries of that largesse are underachievers with an unfounded superiority complex and no evident sense of irony.

I know lots of old money people, some family members, who are very hard working and accomplished. There is no doubt they had enormous privilege in getting to where they are, but it is pure fantasy to believe that old money people are a bunch of layabouts.

This is us. I'm personally terrified that we are going to burn thru it all, so we both work and we also married well. My brother actually has a borderline problem with spending any $, despite running a very successful business, in addition to his inheritance. Every time I want to spend my dividends, my mom is like "R, but have you thought of YOUR CHILDREN?"

All the old money people we know seem so unhappy.

There are some people with just money who also come from old money but they spend like new money whatever that means.

I am a child of immigrants. My parents were elite in their home country. I grew up poor in the US. I worked hard, went to Harvard, met my very hard working husband who is top of his industry now and making a high seven figure income. I guess we are new money. We save and invest most of our money. We also are generous to our family. Our kids are thriving. We are happy.

I totally disagree. I'm European and we're generally much happier. I haven't met so many people on pills for mood disorders before coming to America, and by definition very few Americans are old money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Associates in big law are essentially debt slaves. Partners are either divorced and spending down their retirement so they can’t retire, have family money, or are really lucky. High rights of addiction, depression, adultery - and overspending to make up for tortured childhoods.

Relevant!

Thanks for joining us.

[Anonymous]

The amount of people who try to one-up each other and brag about income and money on this and the professional couples thread is so depressing. For the love of God do some good with your wealth and privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are from old money can you really say there’s “lots of money” in big law?

Not even sure what old money means in this context.

Met very few biglaw families like this. They tend more to live large but as a family.

Maybe it’s just my circle but I don’t even know many big law attorneys who really live large. I can think of 3: two who are very high up in their firms and one who has a trust fund (the one with a trust fund doesn’t live conspicuously, but she does all the wealthy things, rather than having to pick and choose like most big law attorneys do).

Really. 20 year partners mostly have $2 million plus homes, beach house, possibly another house 1-3 country clubs. Nice expensive cars -- Mercedes, BMW, mostly fly themselves and family first class. Europe and Caribbean every year. If they ski -- then that.

? I've never known a DC-based partner who lives like this and both me and my husband have been in biglaw 10 years

You must be at a second tier firm then, or maybe you just need to stick around longer. Lots of DC based lawyers who live like this, but not the senior associates or whatever.

Not “lots” do all that. I’m sure they’re out there but it’s rare. And I’ve noticed because I come from a place where having a beach house is one of the first things people do once they have some money. But at the V20s I am referring to here, a second home is pretty rare. And those partners who do have a beach house don’t also do all that other stuff.

By 15 years in most have a net worth over $10 million. Most have been making $1 million plus for most of those years. Yes they do live like this. I am not talking about the partners making 400-600k somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are from old money can you really say there’s “lots of money” in big law?

Not even sure what old money means in this context.

Met very few biglaw families like this. They tend more to live large but as a family.

Maybe it’s just my circle but I don’t even know many big law attorneys who really live large. I can think of 3: two who are very high up in their firms and one who has a trust fund (the one with a trust fund doesn’t live conspicuously, but she does all the wealthy things, rather than having to pick and choose like most big law attorneys do).

Really. 20 year partners mostly have $2 million plus homes, beach house, possibly another house 1-3 country clubs. Nice expensive cars -- Mercedes, BMW, mostly fly themselves and family first class. Europe and Caribbean every year. If they ski -- then that.

? I've never known a DC-based partner who lives like this and both me and my husband have been in biglaw 10 years

I don't know a non-new partner who does not live like this. Maybe we are thinking of different firms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are from old money can you really say there’s “lots of money” in big law?

Not even sure what old money means in this context.

Met very few biglaw families like this. They tend more to live large but as a family.

Maybe it’s just my circle but I don’t even know many big law attorneys who really live large. I can think of 3: two who are very high up in their firms and one who has a trust fund (the one with a trust fund doesn’t live conspicuously, but she does all the wealthy things, rather than having to pick and choose like most big law attorneys do).

Really. 20 year partners mostly have $2 million plus homes, beach house, possibly another house 1-3 country clubs. Nice expensive cars -- Mercedes, BMW, mostly fly themselves and family first class. Europe and Caribbean every year. If they ski -- then that.

? I've never known a DC-based partner who lives like this and both me and my husband have been in biglaw 10 years

I don't know a non-new partner who does not live like this. Maybe we are thinking of different firms?

DP. Two Mercedes *and* a 2M+ home *and* a beach house *and* fly themselves and family first class *and* Europe every year *and* the Caribbean every year *and* skiing *and* alll those country clubs? Maybe if they don't do anything expensive for their kids, but it seems like expensive activities, expensive camps, and private school all come before doing those other more frivolous things. It seems like that's the lifestyle of somebody in finance, not law, even for more advanced Big Law partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are from old money can you really say there’s “lots of money” in big law?

Not even sure what old money means in this context.

Met very few biglaw families like this. They tend more to live large but as a family.

Maybe it’s just my circle but I don’t even know many big law attorneys who really live large. I can think of 3: two who are very high up in their firms and one who has a trust fund (the one with a trust fund doesn’t live conspicuously, but she does all the wealthy things, rather than having to pick and choose like most big law attorneys do).

Really. 20 year partners mostly have $2 million plus homes, beach house, possibly another house 1-3 country clubs. Nice expensive cars -- Mercedes, BMW, mostly fly themselves and family first class. Europe and Caribbean every year. If they ski -- then that.

? I've never known a DC-based partner who lives like this and both me and my husband have been in biglaw 10 years

I don't know a non-new partner who does not live like this. Maybe we are thinking of different firms?

Then say the firm you mean. Truly, I know so so so many partners who have been partner a long time and having the FULL list above (not picking and choosing priorities like beach house vs multiple international vacations a year) is unusual for DC-based partners. Especially when they typically have 2-3 kids in private schools or colleges and involved with expensive extracurriculars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are from old money can you really say there’s “lots of money” in big law?

Not even sure what old money means in this context.

Met very few biglaw families like this. They tend more to live large but as a family.

Maybe it’s just my circle but I don’t even know many big law attorneys who really live large. I can think of 3: two who are very high up in their firms and one who has a trust fund (the one with a trust fund doesn’t live conspicuously, but she does all the wealthy things, rather than having to pick and choose like most big law attorneys do).

Really. 20 year partners mostly have $2 million plus homes, beach house, possibly another house 1-3 country clubs. Nice expensive cars -- Mercedes, BMW, mostly fly themselves and family first class. Europe and Caribbean every year. If they ski -- then that.

? I've never known a DC-based partner who lives like this and both me and my husband have been in biglaw 10 years

I don't know a non-new partner who does not live like this. Maybe we are thinking of different firms?

DP. Two Mercedes *and* a 2M+ home *and* a beach house *and* fly themselves and family first class *and* Europe every year *and* the Caribbean every year *and* skiing *and* alll those country clubs? Maybe if they don't do anything expensive for their kids, but it seems like expensive activities, expensive camps, and private school all come before doing those other more frivolous things. It seems like that's the lifestyle of somebody in finance, not law, even for more advanced Big Law partners.

NP but that list is not at all crazy for a partner making 1.5M+ a year, which is what an (equity) partner at a top DC law firm would make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are from old money can you really say there’s “lots of money” in big law?

Not even sure what old money means in this context.

Met very few biglaw families like this. They tend more to live large but as a family.

Maybe it’s just my circle but I don’t even know many big law attorneys who really live large. I can think of 3: two who are very high up in their firms and one who has a trust fund (the one with a trust fund doesn’t live conspicuously, but she does all the wealthy things, rather than having to pick and choose like most big law attorneys do).

Really. 20 year partners mostly have $2 million plus homes, beach house, possibly another house 1-3 country clubs. Nice expensive cars -- Mercedes, BMW, mostly fly themselves and family first class. Europe and Caribbean every year. If they ski -- then that.

? I've never known a DC-based partner who lives like this and both me and my husband have been in biglaw 10 years

I don't know a non-new partner who does not live like this. Maybe we are thinking of different firms?

Then say the firm you mean. Truly, I know so so so many partners who have been partner a long time and having the FULL list above (not picking and choosing priorities like beach house vs multiple international vacations a year) is unusual for DC-based partners. Especially when they typically have 2-3 kids in private schools or colleges and involved with expensive extracurriculars.

I’ll name some firms: Arnold and Porter, Covington and Burling, Wilmerhale, Latham, Gibson Dunn, Davis Polk…

I agree that many many partners don’t have flashy things (and many are just not car people) but private schools, beach house, expensive vacations, 2M+ house? Yes, for sure, easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are from old money can you really say there’s “lots of money” in big law?

Not even sure what old money means in this context.

Met very few biglaw families like this. They tend more to live large but as a family.

Maybe it’s just my circle but I don’t even know many big law attorneys who really live large. I can think of 3: two who are very high up in their firms and one who has a trust fund (the one with a trust fund doesn’t live conspicuously, but she does all the wealthy things, rather than having to pick and choose like most big law attorneys do).

Really. 20 year partners mostly have $2 million plus homes, beach house, possibly another house 1-3 country clubs. Nice expensive cars -- Mercedes, BMW, mostly fly themselves and family first class. Europe and Caribbean every year. If they ski -- then that.

? I've never known a DC-based partner who lives like this and both me and my husband have been in biglaw 10 years

I don't know a non-new partner who does not live like this. Maybe we are thinking of different firms?

Then say the firm you mean. Truly, I know so so so many partners who have been partner a long time and having the FULL list above (not picking and choosing priorities like beach house vs multiple international vacations a year) is unusual for DC-based partners. Especially when they typically have 2-3 kids in private schools or colleges and involved with expensive extracurriculars.

I’ll name some firms: Arnold and Porter, Covington and Burling, Wilmerhale, Latham, Gibson Dunn, Davis Polk…

I agree that many many partners don’t have flashy things (and many are just not car people) but private schools, beach house, expensive vacations, 2M+ house? Yes, for sure, easily.

This. We ALL do. This debate is stupid. What do you think people that make $2 million a year spend their money on.