43 is too old for a baby, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This time last year I would have said 100% yes, go for it.

But then two separate friends (age 42, birthed Aug 2021 and 43 birthed Oct 2021) gave birth to babies with Down Syndrome. The fact that I have 2 friends who both gave birth to these babies with Down Syndrome is crazy to me.

One has older kids and the other is a first time mom after a 14 year marriage to a guy who didn't want kids.

NP - did they not do NT scans and early genetic screens? That is highly suspicious to me as a 42 year old soon to be giving birth. By 12 weeks I had two all clears on that front.

Here’s what you’re missing: Some people choose not to terminate the pregnancy. They likely did the scans and knew their child would have autism and decided to continue the pregnancy anyways.

There is no “scan” for autism. Who mentioned autism? I’m asking because PP was “shocked” 2 out of 3 had DS kids - making it seem like everyone was shocked and the mother’s weren’t aware before birth. And yes there is a reason those early genetic tests are done as standard procedure for women over 35

[Anonymous]

I have no idea why so many women would terminate with a Down Syndrome diagnosis. Early tests are great in that they give you time tp educate yourself about Down Syndrome and locate all the wonderful services out there.

i had my son with Down Syndrome at 26. 2 more without at 32 and 38. They are 3 boys who are protective and attached despite the age differences.

" Wouldn't Change a Thing." (check it out)

If you want another baby, OP, and your husband is on board, go ahead. I think the husband on board thing is really key.

[Anonymous]

Get the tests

[Anonymous]

Yes it’s too old. Sorry, I agree w Dh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL gave birth to my nephew two weeks after turning 43. They're both perfectly healthy, no complications while pregnant or giving birth. He just turned two.

LOL

This shows how delusional people are. So much can happen in the first few years of life. To think you’re in the clear just because you haven’t hit any roadblocks yet is incredibly naive. Since we’re trading anectodes, my own nephew developed normally until age 3.5 then just stopped talking and was diagnosed with Autism. His parents are so stressed taking him to therapy after therapy. Another poster with no family history mentioned her daughter was diagnosed with diabetes at age 8. At age 2 you know absolutely nothing.

Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease. Anyone can get it, you don't need a family history. And diabetes isn't a death sentence in 2022.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and will turn 44 in 2022. We already have 3 healthy kids. I can't help but want one more. DH is at a hard no. I think he would go for it if he thought we could have a healthy baby but thinks the risks are not worth it.

Hard no means conversation is over. It’s not picking a restaurant. He doesn’t want to raise another kid and talking him into it is selfish on your part and he’ll resent you for it.

[Anonymous]

With 3 kids? Yes of course it’s too old. I would feel differently if you didn’t have any other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL gave birth to my nephew two weeks after turning 43. They're both perfectly healthy, no complications while pregnant or giving birth. He just turned two.

LOL

This shows how delusional people are. So much can happen in the first few years of life. To think you’re in the clear just because you haven’t hit any roadblocks yet is incredibly naive. Since we’re trading anectodes, my own nephew developed normally until age 3.5 then just stopped talking and was diagnosed with Autism. His parents are so stressed taking him to therapy after therapy. Another poster with no family history mentioned her daughter was diagnosed with diabetes at age 8. At age 2 you know absolutely nothing.

Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease. Anyone can get it, you don't need a family history. And diabetes isn't a death sentence in 2022.

Diabetes parent here you have no idea what you are talking about. It takes about 50K of equipment every year and countless appointments to keep my child alive not to mention what it takes to keep them healthy. I did wakes up all night long for years to keep my child at a near normal blood sugar range. If even one piece of equipment or medication isn't available my child is dead, brain dead or in the hospital.

Type I diabetes isn't like your Grandma or Aunt's type 2 diabetes that they ignore. You do die from insulin or type zo diabetes easily if you don't care for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to add that I'm fairly certain I could still get pregnant. We conceived all of our children on the first or second try. My cycles are very regular. We are both healthy and financially secure.

So just FYI, this doesn't actually mean anything when you're 43. You could have perfectly regular cycles and be ovulating every month, but the problem is that the majority of your eggs (and very possibly all of them) are chromosomally abnormal at this point. Eggs get old. They just do.

Echoing this as someone that is 37, gets pregnant on the first month every time and just had a 2nd trimester loss. It's almost worse. I've lost more time than if it took me longer to conceive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL gave birth to my nephew two weeks after turning 43. They're both perfectly healthy, no complications while pregnant or giving birth. He just turned two.

LOL

This shows how delusional people are. So much can happen in the first few years of life. To think you’re in the clear just because you haven’t hit any roadblocks yet is incredibly naive. Since we’re trading anectodes, my own nephew developed normally until age 3.5 then just stopped talking and was diagnosed with Autism. His parents are so stressed taking him to therapy after therapy. Another poster with no family history mentioned her daughter was diagnosed with diabetes at age 8. At age 2 you know absolutely nothing.

Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease. Anyone can get it, you don't need a family history. And diabetes isn't a death sentence in 2022.

Diabetes parent here you have no idea what you are talking about. It takes about 50K of equipment every year and countless appointments to keep my child alive not to mention what it takes to keep them healthy. I did wakes up all night long for years to keep my child at a near normal blood sugar range. If even one piece of equipment or medication isn't available my child is dead, brain dead or in the hospital.

Type I diabetes isn't like your Grandma or Aunt's type 2 diabetes that they ignore. You do die from insulin or type zo diabetes easily if you don't care for it.

Ok, and your medical insurance covers nearly all of that expense and medication and equipment for diabetes isn’t hard to come by. There are definitely harder to manage and much more
expemsive childhood illness out there to have

[Anonymous]

Not pp, just someone who reads the news. Diabetes sounds incredible expensive lately.

[Anonymous]

Count your blessings, don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL gave birth to my nephew two weeks after turning 43. They're both perfectly healthy, no complications while pregnant or giving birth. He just turned two.

LOL

This shows how delusional people are. So much can happen in the first few years of life. To think you’re in the clear just because you haven’t hit any roadblocks yet is incredibly naive. Since we’re trading anectodes, my own nephew developed normally until age 3.5 then just stopped talking and was diagnosed with Autism. His parents are so stressed taking him to therapy after therapy. Another poster with no family history mentioned her daughter was diagnosed with diabetes at age 8. At age 2 you know absolutely nothing.

Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease. Anyone can get it, you don't need a family history. And diabetes isn't a death sentence in 2022.

Diabetes parent here you have no idea what you are talking about. It takes about 50K of equipment every year and countless appointments to keep my child alive not to mention what it takes to keep them healthy. I did wakes up all night long for years to keep my child at a near normal blood sugar range. If even one piece of equipment or medication isn't available my child is dead, brain dead or in the hospital.

Type I diabetes isn't like your Grandma or Aunt's type 2 diabetes that they ignore. You do die from insulin or type zo diabetes easily if you don't care for it.

I wasn't saying that it's easy to have diabetes or be a parent of a child with T1D. I was saying that anyone can get diabetes because it's an autoimmune disease. Having a mom that's over 40 isn't a risk factor.

-Signed a peds nurse who has a family history of type 2 and is Hispanic which means the risk is even higher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 43 and will turn 44 in 2022. We already have 3 healthy kids. I can't help but want one more. DH is at a hard no. I think he would go for it if he thought we could have a healthy baby but thinks the risks are not worth it.

Yes! Although on DCUM posters will tell you to go for it because you're never too old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to add that I'm fairly certain I could still get pregnant. We conceived all of our children on the first or second try. My cycles are very regular. We are both healthy and financially secure.

There is no way to know this- esp. at 43