So sick of my child’s picky eating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an adult picky eater, please know your son doesn't WANT to be this way. I'm sure he wishes he liked more, that he didn't worry when going to restaurants, or to people's homes, etc.

I was just somehow born like this, and although I eat more than the four things I ate at age 2 (yogurt, grilled cheese, pb&j, and I forget the other), I am still distinctly picky. Wish I weren't, but I truly hate a lot of foods.

Unless your son is a brilliant psychopath, he's NOT doing this to drive you crazy.

+1 Ditto for me. I am always worried when someone invites me to their home for dinner because I fear I won't be able to eat what they make and it will be embarassing. Over the years, I have become an expert at cutting things up and shifting them around the plate, hiding some food under scraps of others, taking small bites without my tasting them and washing them down with water, claiming to have a bit of stomach upset or other excuses so I don't have to try and eat what will make me gag.

I truly wish I could enjoy all those wide variety of foods others do but I simply cannot stomach most of them. Especially deep green things. There is something in them that just makes me gag. It tastes like poison to me and I can't comprehend how anyone can enjoy eating them. Then I recently read there may be a genetic component:

"Appreciation of sour and bitter flavors [many fruits and vegetables] is learned over time, Emmett says, but certain kids may naturally struggle with it more than others. One 2017 study from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign found that two gene variants linked to tasting bitter flavors were more common in picky preschoolers. “Genes that are related to taste or chemosensory perception may play a role” in how kids eat, says lead study author Natasha Chong Cole, who’s now a nutrition researcher at Baylor College of Medicine. “Which should provide some relief to parents. It’s not their fault!”

[Anonymous]

He may have an undiagnosed sensory processing disorder. I have not read the whole thread in detail but some Kids may have sensitivities to touch input and sometime this manifests itself in "picky eating". 3 bites approach is not the way to go with this, bc you are forcing a "fight or flight" reaction (bc he may be processing the tactile sensation as noxious, yes it can be that intense). he may be sensitive to shapes bc changing the look of a piece of food causes confusion on his part (is this food friend or foe?) read up on feeding sensitivities and sensory processing disorder and find and OT (feeding specialist) for support if needed....

[Anonymous]

Most picky eaters reject things like vegetables and spicy foods, and only want to eat foods like pizza and chicken nuggets. Yours is rejecting even thr picky eater staples that most prefer. Speaking with no medical expertise, I wonder if there could be something else going on. My Dd always hated milk, which didn’t make much sense to me until we discovered she was lactose intolerant. You might check with your doctor and see about a referral to a specialist, to rule out the possibility of an allergy, sensitivity, or other medical issue.

[Anonymous]

Questionnaire for you that can help you determine if it’s problematic vs a phase: https://sosapproachtofeeding.com/picky-eater-questionnaire/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spend hours each week planning, shopping, cooking, and preparing 90% of our family’s meals and my six year old is driving me up the wall. He refuses, unless coerced (“three bites of all new foods” “clean plate club or no screens after dinner” etc), to try any new foods. We spent years playing it cool, putting it on his plate and telling him he didn’t have to try it if he didn’t want to, etc and it did absolutely nothing. Everything he tastes he says he doesn’t like, and 50% of the time he gags when he is coerced into trying it. He will not try basic things—even sweet things, like cake or toast with jam or a different flavor of muffin! Foods he does like are rejected if they are cut in a different shape. He will not eat ANY convenience foods—yogurt, pizza, mac n cheese, quesadillas, chicken nuggets, nothing. I am just so frustrated by the unwillingness to TRY and the immediate rejection of everything after tasting it, without even thinking of whether or not it could potentially taste good.
I’m not very sure if I’m looking for advice, I just need to rant. Most resources for picky eating are for toddlers, and playing little games or cutting things into fun shapes is not going to convince a six year old.

Put the food on the table and that's that. He eats or goes hungry. If he doesn't eat then he is excused from table and gets ready for bed. He does this to get attention and you are letting him win. I told this story before but I'll repeat for your brnefit. My sister's son came to visit and stay with us for two weeks one summer. At his house he would only eat pizza, PB&grape jelly sandwiches, and french fries from McDonald's. I put dinner on the table and told him this was dinner in my house--no pizza, no PB&K, no Mac fries. Eat or go hungry. It was a simple dinner and he ate everything. He also told me that he was only picky at home because he knew his mother would give him all her attention.

You are the parent and his boss
Stop letting him rule the dinner table.

Right on! Good parenting on your part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry op, that sounds incredibly frustrating. You probably already know about this so forgive me for
mentioning it but kids eat in color has a better bites program that is supposed to go up til age 10. I don’t think you get much for true picky eating like your experiencing on her Instagram but I’ve heard good things about her actual program and her kids are older - like 6 and 8 so just seems more promising. But also, just mostly want to say that sounds so so frustrating and you sound like a great mom

Is it the same person who recommend this “kids eat in color” all the time? Is it in fact the owner of that handle? I looked at her stuff once and it was laughable. Not for true picky eaters.

+1. Not for picky eaters. She also lets her kids play in garbage bins and her apartment is disgusting and they live in squalor. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure your kid doesn't have sensory processing disorder?

[Anonymous]

I was just watching a food segment on the Today Show. The chef only ate kid foods till she was 17, no seafood till 24. There’s hope!

Carson Daly asked her for advice as he said one of his kids lives on grilled cheese and pasta and it concerns him and his wife. She says to let it be.

[Anonymous]

My child doesn't like convenience foods either, OP. No frozen pizza, no mac and cheese, no chicken nuggets, no tacos. Mine is picky about what she eats but does have a good variety of vegetables and fruits she eats so I don't worry too much. She eats much better at my mom's house so I know some of it is behavioral with me. I am a single mom and don't have time for too many battles so I have "dumbed down" the food and serve super simple stuff. She always gets something to eat right before bed so if she doesn't eat dinner, she can have something at that time - banana, non sugar cereal, bread, soup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spend hours each week planning, shopping, cooking, and preparing 90% of our family’s meals and my six year old is driving me up the wall. He refuses, unless coerced (“three bites of all new foods” “clean plate club or no screens after dinner” etc), to try any new foods. We spent years playing it cool, putting it on his plate and telling him he didn’t have to try it if he didn’t want to, etc and it did absolutely nothing. Everything he tastes he says he doesn’t like, and 50% of the time he gags when he is coerced into trying it. He will not try basic things—even sweet things, like cake or toast with jam or a different flavor of muffin! Foods he does like are rejected if they are cut in a different shape. He will not eat ANY convenience foods—yogurt, pizza, mac n cheese, quesadillas, chicken nuggets, nothing. I am just so frustrated by the unwillingness to TRY and the immediate rejection of everything after tasting it, without even thinking of whether or not it could potentially taste good.
I’m not very sure if I’m looking for advice, I just need to rant. Most resources for picky eating are for toddlers, and playing little games or cutting things into fun shapes is not going to convince a six year old.

Stop with clean plate club. Your kid doesn't care how long you plan and cook the food. Have you checked out allergies? My niece was picky and my sister discovered she was allergic to a lot of foods. Now getting shots and my niece has started to eat more food. I would start there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry op, that sounds incredibly frustrating. You probably already know about this so forgive me for
mentioning it but kids eat in color has a better bites program that is supposed to go up til age 10. I don’t think you get much for true picky eating like your experiencing on her Instagram but I’ve heard good things about her actual program and her kids are older - like 6 and 8 so just seems more promising. But also, just mostly want to say that sounds so so frustrating and you sound like a great mom

Is it the same person who recommend this “kids eat in color” all the time? Is it in fact the owner of that handle? I looked at her stuff once and it was laughable. Not for true picky eaters.

+1. Not for picky eaters. She also lets her kids play in garbage bins and her apartment is disgusting and they live in squalor. No thanks.

???

[Anonymous]

My kids are picky as well and we feel your pain. My 7 year old also does not like nuggets, burgers and a lot of other "kid food". He will eat the pizza we get every Friday and is slowly getting willing to try other pizza places. That said, he does like Indian butter chicken, steak, and a few other unexpected things, so we just keep trying.

What I try to do is think of something they like and then try to think of a tiny twist on it. So, they like chicken thighs, so we tried this chicken thigh recipe with a honey sauce. We made some plain as well. But the kid likes honey so he tried the honey sauce. Of course, he liked it twice and now is back to plain, so who knows....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are picky as well and we feel your pain. My 7 year old also does not like nuggets, burgers and a lot of other "kid food". He will eat the pizza we get every Friday and is slowly getting willing to try other pizza places. That said, he does like Indian butter chicken, steak, and a few other unexpected things, so we just keep trying.

What I try to do is think of something they like and then try to think of a tiny twist on it. So, they like chicken thighs, so we tried this chicken thigh recipe with a honey sauce. We made some plain as well. But the kid likes honey so he tried the honey sauce. Of course, he liked it twice and now is back to plain, so who knows....

PP. The other thing we do is indulge any perceived interest in any food. They got this game "tacos vs. burritos" for Christmas from my MIL and my son said something about doing a real tacos vs. burritos challenge. He's extremely lukewarm on tacos, but as soon as possible after that, we got ingredients to make burritos. Same with Chinese bao; he got a book about a girl making bao from the library and showed an interest in it so we made bao. He tried only a tiny bite but it was something. It's veeeeery slow but hopefully it'll pay dividends at some point.

[Anonymous]

This is a good idea. DD's teacher always talks about "Taco Tuesday" so for awhile we were having them at home on Tuesdays until she completely rejected tacos, lol. But books about different foods sometimes sparks interest - like Dragons eat Tacos. My DD loves helping out in the kitchen and will help cut fruit and stuff which helps a little with her eating or makes her at least more willing to taste something.

quote=Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are picky as well and we feel your pain. My 7 year old also does not like nuggets, burgers and a lot of other "kid food". He will eat the pizza we get every Friday and is slowly getting willing to try other pizza places. That said, he does like Indian butter chicken, steak, and a few other unexpected things, so we just keep trying.

What I try to do is think of something they like and then try to think of a tiny twist on it. So, they like chicken thighs, so we tried this chicken thigh recipe with a honey sauce. We made some plain as well. But the kid likes honey so he tried the honey sauce. Of course, he liked it twice and now is back to plain, so who knows....

PP. The other thing we do is indulge any perceived interest in any food. They got this game "tacos vs. burritos" for Christmas from my MIL and my son said something about doing a real tacos vs. burritos challenge. He's extremely lukewarm on tacos, but as soon as possible after that, we got ingredients to make burritos. Same with Chinese bao; he got a book about a girl making bao from the library and showed an interest in it so we made bao. He tried only a tiny bite but it was something. It's veeeeery slow but hopefully it'll pay dividends at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spend hours each week planning, shopping, cooking, and preparing 90% of our family’s meals and my six year old is driving me up the wall. He refuses, unless coerced (“three bites of all new foods” “clean plate club or no screens after dinner” etc), to try any new foods. We spent years playing it cool, putting it on his plate and telling him he didn’t have to try it if he didn’t want to, etc and it did absolutely nothing. Everything he tastes he says he doesn’t like, and 50% of the time he gags when he is coerced into trying it. He will not try basic things—even sweet things, like cake or toast with jam or a different flavor of muffin! Foods he does like are rejected if they are cut in a different shape. He will not eat ANY convenience foods—yogurt, pizza, mac n cheese, quesadillas, chicken nuggets, nothing. I am just so frustrated by the unwillingness to TRY and the immediate rejection of everything after tasting it, without even thinking of whether or not it could potentially taste good.
I’m not very sure if I’m looking for advice, I just need to rant. Most resources for picky eating are for toddlers, and playing little games or cutting things into fun shapes is not going to convince a six year old.

Put the food on the table and that's that. He eats or goes hungry. If he doesn't eat then he is excused from table and gets ready for bed. He does this to get attention and you are letting him win. I told this story before but I'll repeat for your brnefit. My sister's son came to visit and stay with us for two weeks one summer. At his house he would only eat pizza, PB&grape jelly sandwiches, and french fries from McDonald's. I put dinner on the table and told him this was dinner in my house--no pizza, no PB&K, no Mac fries. Eat or go hungry. It was a simple dinner and he ate everything. He also told me that he was only picky at home because he knew his mother would give him all her attention.

You are the parent and his boss
Stop letting him rule the dinner table.

Right on! Good parenting on your part.

I think this tactic works on some kids. I have two picky eaters. And this works on one of the two. For the older kid, the picky eating seems to be more emotional and his way of gaining control (i.e., he will just go hungry and then escalate from there). For him, I’ve learned that strong tactics like this make it worse. We’ve been going the method of constantly exposing him to new foods. He can’t complain about a new food on his plate, but he doesn’t have to eat it and there is always a safe food (but not something I go out of my way to make). We don’t make it a big deal and it’s helped far more than the eat or starve method. It’s a twist on it though—eat the family meal, or eat bananas.