Non-teaching school staff offering cookies and candy and to "hang out". Can I object?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP writing. I agree about the school's communication.

The person is an administrative assistant with no formal training who has added community 'facilitator' to their responsibilities at the school.

Thanks for the thoughts.

You have a two-way communication problem and you are half of it. Stop relying on your child’s reporting. Call the school and talk to them about what this program is. Tell them that if this is a voluntary program, you are opting your child out. Talk to your child. Why do they want to participate? Then tell them you want them outside at recess and that you have let the school know. You need to communicate better.

Down girl. I have gotten info from the school about it. Not sure why the assumption. Breathe.

Rude. You are definitely part of the problem, going on the offensive and blathering about parental rights rather than communicating with the school directly.

Read! I have communicated with the school. (Sigh).

m

And what did they say? This story continues to be vague without clear specifics.

[Anonymous]

So it’s like an office admin who decided that they’re going to be a guidance counselor all of a sudden?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP writing. I agree about the school's communication.

The person is an administrative assistant with no formal training who has added community 'facilitator' to their responsibilities at the school.

Thanks for the thoughts.

You have a two-way communication problem and you are half of it. Stop relying on your child’s reporting. Call the school and talk to them about what this program is. Tell them that if this is a voluntary program, you are opting your child out. Talk to your child. Why do they want to participate? Then tell them you want them outside at recess and that you have let the school know. You need to communicate better.

Down girl. I have gotten info from the school about it. Not sure why the assumption. Breathe.

Rude. You are definitely part of the problem, going on the offensive and blathering about parental rights rather than communicating with the school directly.

Read! I have communicated with the school. (Sigh).

Then why didn’t you have the school answer the questions you have posed here? Do you think DCUM knows the language in your contract? The parent manual? The details of this program and your child’s interactions with faculty, staff and other students? Ask the school.

[Anonymous]

I'm on the staff of an independent school, and if I quit before the pandemic ends, it will be because of parents like this OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s refusal to articulate the reason for her objection makes me think it’s not so much fear of their child being groomed at school as fear that their child might share what is happening to them outside of school. If you don’t want your child spilling the dirty family secrets, step one is to make sure they don’t develop relationships of trust with any other adults.

OP writing. This is my favorite post from cray-cray-crazyytown so far. Alas, I only seek to know what parents' standing to provide input/object is, in these situations.

There's a weird grooming element to it, in my opinion. Just my gut. And yes, I have talked to the school. Yes, I have talked to my kid.

Happy Holidays.

What did your school say?

I’m a bit confused by your replies. Earlier you said it was a concern different than grooming, but didn’t articulate what it was, which I think is what PP is pointing out. Now, it’s grooming. I’m confused and think I’m on your side.

NP. Maybe the issue is that it's not grooming for abuse, but OP feels the staff member may be "grooming" the children to not have values that align with his or her own and is hesitant to articulate exactly what that is. OP, is the staff member in question decidedly more liberal, or conservative, than you? Does he or she live a lifestyle that makes you uncomfortable?

[Anonymous]

These kinds of “lunch bunch” social skills/counseling groups are a pretty standard part of elementary school. I suspect it’s not a large volume of treats but if you object to the treats just say so. If you object to the group say that. But I would watch it because your child is getting too old for you to meddle and one of the points of these groups is to practice/model mature conversation/socializing/friendship. So if you stick your nose in your child may feel undermined or embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s refusal to articulate the reason for her objection makes me think it’s not so much fear of their child being groomed at school as fear that their child might share what is happening to them outside of school. If you don’t want your child spilling the dirty family secrets, step one is to make sure they don’t develop relationships of trust with any other adults.

OP writing. This is my favorite post from cray-cray-crazyytown so far. Alas, I only seek to know what parents' standing to provide input/object is, in these situations.

There's a weird grooming element to it, in my opinion. Just my gut. And yes, I have talked to the school. Yes, I have talked to my kid.

Happy Holidays.

What did your school say?

I’m a bit confused by your replies. Earlier you said it was a concern different than grooming, but didn’t articulate what it was, which I think is what PP is pointing out. Now, it’s grooming. I’m confused and think I’m on your side.

NP. Maybe the issue is that it's not grooming for abuse, but OP feels the staff member may be "grooming" the children to not have values that align with his or her own and is hesitant to articulate exactly what that is. OP, is the staff member in question decidedly more liberal, or conservative, than you? Does he or she live a lifestyle that makes you uncomfortable?

Omg you guys are insane. A 5th grade lunch bunch is about like, going around the circle and saying something you’re proud of this week. Or if Larla has been feeling isolated, it could be about helping foster positive connections with classmates. It’s not ideological indoctrination, it’s helping 10 year olds be functional little social beings. It’s standard practice. You people are insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to be pessimistic but are there other children with that staff member during these sessions? If your child is alone with the adult, my spidey sense is thinking grooming.

Lunch bunches (with multiple students) aren’t uncommon with younger children, but I’d want to know more details about these get-togethers. Honestly, children need to use their recess time to interact with peers and burn off energy.

-educator who taught at a school where a 4th grade teacher was imprisoned for four years due to inappropriate interactions with students

Don't over think it. Its really quite simple: the school has a union, the teachers who know the kids best don't go outside with them at recess so the so the kids who feel lonely at recess or who are being bullied have no support.

Admin can't change the recess supervision to be more wholesome like most DC Privates have ( young kids in elementary go outside with the own teachers ) because the teacher union is holding Admin to " teacher break time "

Enter the Admin Assistant in the front office who can see the advantage of currying favor with Admin by putting a schmooze bandaid on their lonely kids at recess problem AND he might just get some popularity with parents out of it - heck that's Job security in a Private school.

True, it is all NOT appropriate, the Admin Asst has no education or training in counseling, but what parents should be asking is why Admin thinks that they can pull this one over on parents. Parents who are paying 40 K a year. That kind of blowing smoke should make parents wonder what else Admin is keeping from them about how this school is really run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to be pessimistic but are there other children with that staff member during these sessions? If your child is alone with the adult, my spidey sense is thinking grooming.

Lunch bunches (with multiple students) aren’t uncommon with younger children, but I’d want to know more details about these get-togethers. Honestly, children need to use their recess time to interact with peers and burn off energy.

-educator who taught at a school where a 4th grade teacher was imprisoned for four years due to inappropriate interactions with students

Don't over think it. Its really quite simple: the school has a union, the teachers who know the kids best don't go outside with them at recess so the so the kids who feel lonely at recess or who are being bullied have no support.

Admin can't change the recess supervision to be more wholesome like most DC Privates have ( young kids in elementary go outside with the own teachers ) because the teacher union is holding Admin to " teacher break time "

Enter the Admin Assistant in the front office who can see the advantage of currying favor with Admin by putting a schmooze bandaid on their lonely kids at recess problem AND he might just get some popularity with parents out of it - heck that's Job security in a Private school.

True, it is all NOT appropriate, the Admin Asst has no education or training in counseling, but what parents should be asking is why Admin thinks that they can pull this one over on parents. Parents who are paying 40 K a year. That kind of blowing smoke should make parents wonder what else Admin is keeping from them about how this school is really run.

Wow. You have a really active imagination.