Help with consequences -- 14 yo DD skipped school with friend, went to DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The skipping school part is what concerns me more than anything else. At 14? Is that 8th grade? I would never have considered doing that - particularly at that age. Is this the first time this has happened or have there been other times? There would definitely be consequences in our house.

14 should be 8/9th grade but the 14 year old was probably held back or a fall birthday and should know better.

The 14 year old was the necessarily left back. I was 14 for about the last 4 months of 8th grade. Anyway, there should be some sort of consequence, but really if this is the worst a kid would do you're doing good.

[Anonymous]

I did same thing, but my mom let me do it as like mental health days. My grades were excellent though, and it was not all the time. Maybe 4 days a year. And I went to G town

[Anonymous]

Update Op?

[Anonymous]

Eh. I was a strong-willed kid with more determination than my parents. The more they tried to punish things out of me, the more I did them. For sure, I’d be horrified if my children did the things I used to, I’m very lucky nothing happened to me. Funny thing is that I was a good kid, my grades were good, I wasn’t into drugs or drinking or sex, I just wanted some freedom and to not be told what to do all day.

This is pretty much me too. If this is your kid OP, tread carefully.

[Anonymous]

I’d give a warning and threaten to punish her if she did it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Eh. I was a strong-willed kid with more determination than my parents. The more they tried to punish things out of me, the more I did them. For sure, I’d be horrified if my children did the things I used to, I’m very lucky nothing happened to me. Funny thing is that I was a good kid, my grades were good, I wasn’t into drugs or drinking or sex, I just wanted some freedom and to not be told what to do all day.

This is pretty much me too. If this is your kid OP, tread carefully.

You weren't a good kid. Good kids don't skip school and regularly defy their parents for the hell of it. You both sound like entitled brats who haven't mentally matured pass 14.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Eh. I was a strong-willed kid with more determination than my parents. The more they tried to punish things out of me, the more I did them. For sure, I’d be horrified if my children did the things I used to, I’m very lucky nothing happened to me. Funny thing is that I was a good kid, my grades were good, I wasn’t into drugs or drinking or sex, I just wanted some freedom and to not be told what to do all day.

This is pretty much me too. If this is your kid OP, tread carefully.

You weren't a good kid. Good kids don't skip school and regularly defy their parents for the hell of it. You both sound like entitled brats who haven't mentally matured pass 14.

I was a great student too and I also skipped a bunch of school. I went to an Ivy. Frankly, school is a waste of time for smart kids. I’m watching all the debates around dumbing down school even more for the lowest common denominator, getting rid of algebra, no more tracking, etc. Omg. I would have skipped so much more school if I had to endure that. FWIW, I’m a tech entrepreneur now and there’s plenty of people with similar stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Eh. I was a strong-willed kid with more determination than my parents. The more they tried to punish things out of me, the more I did them. For sure, I’d be horrified if my children did the things I used to, I’m very lucky nothing happened to me. Funny thing is that I was a good kid, my grades were good, I wasn’t into drugs or drinking or sex, I just wanted some freedom and to not be told what to do all day.

This is pretty much me too. If this is your kid OP, tread carefully.

You weren't a good kid. Good kids don't skip school and regularly defy their parents for the hell of it. You both sound like entitled brats who haven't mentally matured pass 14.

I was a great student too and I also skipped a bunch of school. I went to an Ivy. Frankly, school is a waste of time for smart kids. I’m watching all the debates around dumbing down school even more for the lowest common denominator, getting rid of algebra, no more tracking, etc. Omg. I would have skipped so much more school if I had to endure that. FWIW, I’m a tech entrepreneur now and there’s plenty of people with similar stories.

My beautiful petite DD of color is 14 /- and even when I am with her grown men act very inappropriately. When she goes to the Mall with her friends, it can be bad as all. I have seen the way men look at her when we go out. It is often creepy.

I would be extremely worried if she went interstate on a whim without money for a ride home and without telling me … if she is bored at school, i am happy to find better ways to challenge her than truancy and going AWOL.

Also if anything my DD would be stressed by missing school as it is hard to Catch up if you miss a day at her rigorous private. She complains about being stretched too much not too little and we try to reduce stress and expectations as much as possible.

I don’t think advocating truancy and going interstate with friends without alerting parents or guardians is a good solution to pedagogical dilemmas.

But I am glad it worked for you, you are safe and flourished eventually.

[Anonymous]

I’d beat her ass. No excuse for skipping a day of school plus heading to DC.

[Anonymous]

Consequence for skipping school.

Then after the consequence teach her how to use the metro. Assign her tasks that need to be done in different parts of the city. She needs to figure out how to get there and get them done: library book pick up at MLK or other DC libraries (you can get a card as a Maryland resident), postcard from specific museums. Practice weekly until you are comfortable.

You might even be able to combine the consequence with the teaching part of she loses out on something she’d rather do (inside gaming with friends).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Eh. I was a strong-willed kid with more determination than my parents. The more they tried to punish things out of me, the more I did them. For sure, I’d be horrified if my children did the things I used to, I’m very lucky nothing happened to me. Funny thing is that I was a good kid, my grades were good, I wasn’t into drugs or drinking or sex, I just wanted some freedom and to not be told what to do all day.

This is pretty much me too. If this is your kid OP, tread carefully.

You weren't a good kid. Good kids don't skip school and regularly defy their parents for the hell of it. You both sound like entitled brats who haven't mentally matured pass 14.

You sound like an insufferable control freak with a giant stick up her a$$. At this point, you’ll need a backhoe to remove it.