Husband Bought A House Without Consulting Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you like the house? Does your husband usually make smart decisions and you feel like you can trust him? I wouldn’t get upset if I trusted that he would make the right decision. My house put an offer in on a condo we were considering while I was pregnant and I trusted his judgement. Very happy with the condo and him for securing a place that likely would have gone to to another buyer had he not loved fast enough. Your husband probably saved you guys money by not having to get into a bidding war.

OP here. The house is very nice but bigger than I would want to live in. There are some cosmetic changes I would do but the layout and yard is what we have been looking for. We are a family over 4 and don’t need at 5bd 5.5ba 5200sqft. house. I don’t want to live in a house that is so big.

5 bedrooms for 4 people is not unreasonable at all. But if you really hate it, you can get out after inspection. You aren't stuck with the house. It's fine to be annoyed, but the actual impact of what he did on your life and finances is nill.

Your replies in this thread make it seem like you are looking for a way to be mad about this. Adults are able to say to their spouses "I'm so angry that you cut me out of this decision. I am not sure if I can come around to liking the house, because of it. I would like to try, but do you understand why I feel this way?"

The house is 5200sqft. Who needs that kind of space for two adults and two kids? Imagine the amount of money it will take to heat/cool, clean, and maintain. OP is right to be upset. I think she came here to vent.

The square footage is often not as much an issue as the lay out. I think 5 bedrooms, even six is good for 4 people so you have an office or two or guest room. I'd love a 5 bedroom house with one kid but not one that big.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't a friend and I'd tell your husband to pull the bid until you can see the house.

OP here. It’s not on him. He’s my husbands friend shut the blame is NOT on him. The blame is on my husband. I did tell him I need to see the house first in person ( saw it in a video he took) and I will decide then. I’m more hurt that he didn’t even think he needed to tell me. He said it moved so quickly and that he knows me well enough to know the house I want and he was afraid to pass it up. I told him he could have called me on his way over or after he saw it to let me know.

My husband is a wonderful spouse and partner. Puts myself and the kids above all else and does everything he can to give us a good life. He usually never makes such a decision without letting me know. He never even make a big purchase without checking with me first. I’m just very upset.

So maybe stop being a drama queen and see the house. Also make sure you aren't cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Being angry that your spouse BOUGHT A HOUSE without telling you is being a drama queen? Good grief. That’s nuts. Even amazing people screw up sometimes.

+1. This is crazy. I love DH but I’d be furious

That justmeans the 2 of you are drama queens with controll issues.

It's controlling to expect to have an equal voice in home purchasing decisions? I must be the biggest control freak ever, then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't a friend and I'd tell your husband to pull the bid until you can see the house.

OP here. It’s not on him. He’s my husbands friend shut the blame is NOT on him. The blame is on my husband. I did tell him I need to see the house first in person ( saw it in a video he took) and I will decide then. I’m more hurt that he didn’t even think he needed to tell me. He said it moved so quickly and that he knows me well enough to know the house I want and he was afraid to pass it up. I told him he could have called me on his way over or after he saw it to let me know.

My husband is a wonderful spouse and partner. Puts myself and the kids above all else and does everything he can to give us a good life. He usually never makes such a decision without letting me know. He never even make a big purchase without checking with me first. I’m just very upset.

So maybe stop being a drama queen and see the house. Also make sure you aren't cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Being angry that your spouse BOUGHT A HOUSE without telling you is being a drama queen? Good grief. That’s nuts. Even amazing people screw up sometimes.

+1. This is crazy. I love DH but I’d be furious

That justmeans the 2 of you are drama queens with controll issues.

It's controlling to expect to have an equal voice in home purchasing decisions? I must be the biggest control freak ever, then.

Yeah consulting your spouse before purchasing your primary residence is normal. Completely weird that anyone would think otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are both buying the house you would have needed to sign contract. If he can afford on his own, let him have the house he wants, nothing says you need to live there.

What? They are married and have kids. Your thinking is very immature.

[Anonymous]

I would be 💯% livid as well.

I do not see any good reason why he could not have bought this house w/out letting you in on the final decision.

[Anonymous]

Wow I cannot imagine my DH buying a house without me seeing it. I would be furious.

Perhaps you will come to see the positive aspects of the house but the maintenance and cleaning will be constant and ongoing in a house that big. Its a ton of work to keep a house that big clean unless of course you plan to get a cleaner in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you like the house? Does your husband usually make smart decisions and you feel like you can trust him? I wouldn’t get upset if I trusted that he would make the right decision. My house put an offer in on a condo we were considering while I was pregnant and I trusted his judgement. Very happy with the condo and him for securing a place that likely would have gone to to another buyer had he not loved fast enough. Your husband probably saved you guys money by not having to get into a bidding war.

OP here. The house is very nice but bigger than I would want to live in. There are some cosmetic changes I would do but the layout and yard is what we have been looking for. We are a family over 4 and don’t need at 5bd 5.5ba 5200sqft. house. I don’t want to live in a house that is so big.

Maybe he does? What’s your objection to the extra space?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you like the house? Does your husband usually make smart decisions and you feel like you can trust him? I wouldn’t get upset if I trusted that he would make the right decision. My house put an offer in on a condo we were considering while I was pregnant and I trusted his judgement. Very happy with the condo and him for securing a place that likely would have gone to to another buyer had he not loved fast enough. Your husband probably saved you guys money by not having to get into a bidding war.

OP here. The house is very nice but bigger than I would want to live in. There are some cosmetic changes I would do but the layout and yard is what we have been looking for. We are a family over 4 and don’t need at 5bd 5.5ba 5200sqft. house. I don’t want to live in a house that is so big.

Maybe he does? What’s your objection to the extra space?

OP said I’m another reply that her issue is the cost to heat/cool, clean, and maintain the house.

[Anonymous]

Wow, no way my husband would have done this. We ent through the hoke buying process together and we talked over just about everything 77extensively. I grew up in a military family so we moved a lot and no way my Dad would have even rented a house without my mom's input.

[Anonymous]

The issue I read is WHY did he not tell you? Everyone has a smartphone - everyone. It takes a few seconds to click photos and send an address. It's not hard to visit a house. A few hours to schedule?

So, there's something else at play.