Husband Bought A House Without Consulting Me

[Anonymous]

Yet Jim Halpert did it and it was the most perfect and romantic mood ever…

Maybe you should adopt a better attitude. Guys trying to make some moves to make your life as perfect and happy as he can. If he missed on this one, OK. Not sure why all the hostility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, calm breaths.
You said above he’s a wonderful friend and partner.
This is a big screwup on his part (like… temporary insanity level screwup) but is it possible he just panicked under the pressure of finally finding a place and he put in an offer because he was so afraid you’d lose out?
That still justifies it 0% but…. I’m not sure I’d murder him over this. And if you actually love the house, well, this could be a funny story. (In like 20 years. After all the marriage counseling.)

OP here. Who said anything about murder? I would never harm him and I don’t even joke about things like that. It’s in such poor taste to do that.

He did put an offer in because they were going to list the house that day. The sellers are friends of our realtor cousin or something.

[Anonymous]

I would be mad but it sounds like he did it with the best intentions.

[Anonymous]

So was your offer accepted, or did he just put in an offer. If the later, withdraw it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't a friend and I'd tell your husband to pull the bid until you can see the house.

OP here. It’s not on him. He’s my husbands friend shut the blame is NOT on him. The blame is on my husband. I did tell him I need to see the house first in person ( saw it in a video he took) and I will decide then. I’m more hurt that he didn’t even think he needed to tell me. He said it moved so quickly and that he knows me well enough to know the house I want and he was afraid to pass it up. I told him he could have called me on his way over or after he saw it to let me know.

My husband is a wonderful spouse and partner. Puts myself and the kids above all else and does everything he can to give us a good life. He usually never makes such a decision without letting me know. He never even make a big purchase without checking with me first. I’m just very upset.

So maybe stop being a drama queen and see the house. Also make sure you aren't cutting off your nose to spite your face.

[Anonymous]

relationships are partnership. you must be a sahm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are two issues— the relationship issue and the real estate issue. I wouldn’t lose sight of the relationship issue but I would keep it separate if you can from the RE issue.

That is don’t reject the house just because he bought it without checking with you.

Agreed. You are right to be furious. The relationship issue is a big one. But the real estate decision involves other people and financial and legal liability. So deal with the real estate first and if the numbers do not work for you, use the inspection to pull out if you can.

[Anonymous]

My husband did this once on a relo. Initially I wanted to kill him but in the end it turned out to be a very smart move on his part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So was your offer accepted, or did he just put in an offer. If the later, withdraw it.

OP here. The offer was accepted the same day he put it in. That’s when he told me we bought a house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:relationships are partnership. you must be a sahm

OP here. No. I work FT and abscess always worked throughout our relationship, marriage, and kids. I don’t ever plan to be a SAHM. It’s not for me.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you like the house? Does your husband usually make smart decisions and you feel like you can trust him? I wouldn’t get upset if I trusted that he would make the right decision. My house put an offer in on a condo we were considering while I was pregnant and I trusted his judgement. Very happy with the condo and him for securing a place that likely would have gone to to another buyer had he not loved fast enough. Your husband probably saved you guys money by not having to get into a bidding war.

[Anonymous]

You can always walk away after the inspection (jerk move that screws the sellers, but you can).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yet Jim Halpert did it and it was the most perfect and romantic mood ever…

Maybe you should adopt a better attitude. Guys trying to make some moves to make your life as perfect and happy as he can. If he missed on this one, OK. Not sure why all the hostility.

Jim apologized to Pam when he showed it to her. He knew it was risky.

[Anonymous]

I once bought a house that my husband didn’t see. It was in the precise area where we wanted to live and when I told him how much it cost he was ok with it. Then I told him it was a tear down and that’s when things got interesting. The marriage survived and he loves the house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't a friend and I'd tell your husband to pull the bid until you can see the house.

OP here. It’s not on him. He’s my husbands friend shut the blame is NOT on him. The blame is on my husband. I did tell him I need to see the house first in person ( saw it in a video he took) and I will decide then. I’m more hurt that he didn’t even think he needed to tell me. He said it moved so quickly and that he knows me well enough to know the house I want and he was afraid to pass it up. I told him he could have called me on his way over or after he saw it to let me know.

My husband is a wonderful spouse and partner. Puts myself and the kids above all else and does everything he can to give us a good life. He usually never makes such a decision without letting me know. He never even make a big purchase without checking with me first. I’m just very upset.

So maybe stop being a drama queen and see the house. Also make sure you aren't cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Being angry that your spouse BOUGHT A HOUSE without telling you is being a drama queen? Good grief. That’s nuts. Even amazing people screw up sometimes.