I'm non existent in MIL's world

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SIL and I only text my SIL when it’s either her birthday or I need her input for a decision. That’s because I don’t really care about her (I don’t hate her but don’t love her either and I don’t always like her as a person).
I don’t know why you expect your mil to love you.
She doesn’t hate you and that’s as much as you can hope for.
Sorry I am just being honest

Are you serious? You don't even care about your SIL your own family member why?

NP. I like my SIL but we have nothing in common. We met when we were in our lates 20s/early 30s and—being on different coasts—have met 6 times. I like her just fine, and care about her for DH’s sake, but I care about basically all my coworkers and neighbors more than her when it comes down to it, because I don’t know her and don’t relate to her at all. I’d jump in front of a bus to save her life or loan her money, but I don’t genuinely like/want to be close with her. Why should two strangers who see each other once every few years suddenly care about each other because of a marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SIL and I only text my SIL when it’s either her birthday or I need her input for a decision. That’s because I don’t really care about her (I don’t hate her but don’t love her either and I don’t always like her as a person).
I don’t know why you expect your mil to love you.
She doesn’t hate you and that’s as much as you can hope for.
Sorry I am just being honest

Are you serious? You don't even care about your SIL your own family member why?

NP. I like my SIL but we have nothing in common. We met when we were in our lates 20s/early 30s and—being on different coasts—have met 6 times. I like her just fine, and care about her for DH’s sake, but I care about basically all my coworkers and neighbors more than her when it comes down to it, because I don’t know her and don’t relate to her at all. I’d jump in front of a bus to save her life or loan her money, but I don’t genuinely like/want to be close with her. Why should two strangers who see each other once every few years suddenly care about each other because of a marriage?

Ok I'm lost she is understandably so a stranger to you and you don't even care about her but you will risk your life to save hers? Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SIL and I only text my SIL when it’s either her birthday or I need her input for a decision. That’s because I don’t really care about her (I don’t hate her but don’t love her either and I don’t always like her as a person).
I don’t know why you expect your mil to love you.
She doesn’t hate you and that’s as much as you can hope for.
Sorry I am just being honest

Are you serious? You don't even care about your SIL your own family member why?

NP. I like my SIL but we have nothing in common. We met when we were in our lates 20s/early 30s and—being on different coasts—have met 6 times. I like her just fine, and care about her for DH’s sake, but I care about basically all my coworkers and neighbors more than her when it comes down to it, because I don’t know her and don’t relate to her at all. I’d jump in front of a bus to save her life or loan her money, but I don’t genuinely like/want to be close with her. Why should two strangers who see each other once every few years suddenly care about each other because of a marriage?

Ok I'm lost she is understandably so a stranger to you and you don't even care about her but you will risk your life to save hers? Huh?

I care about her for the sake of my husband, not because we have a connection. But I’d probably jump in front of a bus for you, too, so there’s that.

[Anonymous]

Carry on. Your life is easier without her. If you have kids, DH can do all the coordination to see them. Elder care? You are so off the hook!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn’t answer his parents when they text or email and only sometimes when they call so they started trying to go through me to get to him. I felt like Hermione in Harry Potter “I’m not an owl!” Don’t borrow trouble OP!

This happened to me. I was wishing they'd be like my parents and text just their own kid like normal people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that this is fine. I am saying this not to be a jerk but you sound like you maybe are really young? Did you get married when you were a teen?

I wondered this too with texting being such a focus and the drama.

[Anonymous]

OP, if she's respectful to you, in person, that's all you need
Stop complainin

[Anonymous]

"Looking forward to seeing you."
"Have a safe trip."
"Thank you for a nice present."
This is how normal texts to both of you. Nobody would think she is ONLY thanking him.
Are you ridden with anxiety?
You sounds like a DIL that is imagining things.

[Anonymous]

I'm a MIL, and I assume that if I texted 'have a safe flight' to my DS, that it is assumed that includes DIL as well.

If my MIL texted 'have a safe flight' to DH, he'd say, Mom wishes us a safe flight. We assume it applies to both of us.

[Anonymous]

My MIL texts me very rarely (think birthdays, or something major like I’m about to go in for a c-section). She and DH text daily. It never occurred to me to find this setup odd or disrespectful in any way. Some people are more communicative/overtly affectionate than others. My advice is to give your MIL the benefit of the doubt here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL texts me very rarely (think birthdays, or something major like I’m about to go in for a c-section). She and DH text daily. It never occurred to me to find this setup odd or disrespectful in any way. Some people are more communicative/overtly affectionate than others. My advice is to give your MIL the benefit of the doubt here.

NP. DAILY Jesus what could your mother in law and husband have to talk about daily? That seems like a lot of communication. Is MIL overly attached or overbearing with your husband in other areas as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL texts me very rarely (think birthdays, or something major like I’m about to go in for a c-section). She and DH text daily. It never occurred to me to find this setup odd or disrespectful in any way. Some people are more communicative/overtly affectionate than others. My advice is to give your MIL the benefit of the doubt here.

NP. DAILY Jesus what could your mother in law and husband have to talk about daily? That seems like a lot of communication. Is MIL overly attached or overbearing with your husband in other areas as well?

What a strange take on this. Do you find it odd if a mother and daughter text daily?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL texts me very rarely (think birthdays, or something major like I’m about to go in for a c-section). She and DH text daily. It never occurred to me to find this setup odd or disrespectful in any way. Some people are more communicative/overtly affectionate than others. My advice is to give your MIL the benefit of the doubt here.

NP. DAILY Jesus what could your mother in law and husband have to talk about daily? That seems like a lot of communication. Is MIL overly attached or overbearing with your husband in other areas as well?

Not overbearing or overly attached from my perspective, but then I’m in contact with my mom daily too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL texts me very rarely (think birthdays, or something major like I’m about to go in for a c-section). She and DH text daily. It never occurred to me to find this setup odd or disrespectful in any way. Some people are more communicative/overtly affectionate than others. My advice is to give your MIL the benefit of the doubt here.

NP. DAILY Jesus what could your mother in law and husband have to talk about daily? That seems like a lot of communication. Is MIL overly attached or overbearing with your husband in other areas as well?

What a strange take on this. Do you find it odd if a mother and daughter text daily?

I'm not the poster who said this but to be honest I think the dynamic is different between a mother/daughter than a mother/son.

I find mothers of sons who usually are in constant contact with their sons or who need to be can't let go and are overbearing in other areas. I just find it a turnoff when a married man needs to be in constant contact with his mother to tell her every detail of his day. Isn't that what he got married and has his wife for? Shouldn't he be telling her all about his day instead of turning to mommy 24/7?

I think the wife should fill that main woman role after marriage where as with a mother and daughter if the daughter is marrying a man the mother isn't looking to stay the number one woman in her life. Different Dynamics.

I'm aware my opinion isn't a popular one on here as usually people on these boards are in support of MILs but it's how I feel. I also am a MIL to married sons and I talk to them once a week but I understand their main focus should be their wives and rather than telling me every detail of their day their wife should be filling that role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL texts me very rarely (think birthdays, or something major like I’m about to go in for a c-section). She and DH text daily. It never occurred to me to find this setup odd or disrespectful in any way. Some people are more communicative/overtly affectionate than others. My advice is to give your MIL the benefit of the doubt here.

NP. DAILY Jesus what could your mother in law and husband have to talk about daily? That seems like a lot of communication. Is MIL overly attached or overbearing with your husband in other areas as well?

Not overbearing or overly attached from my perspective, but then I’m in contact with my mom daily too.

What do they talk about?