I'm non existent in MIL's world

[Anonymous]

I think you have it pretty good! As others have said, I’d focus on the substance of the relationship (quality time together) and would be grateful to have an overall good relationship.

My DW and I have been together for 21 years and my MIL still makes me get out of family pictures because I’m not “real” family—only blood relatives qualify. She does the same thing to her DILs too. As long as your MIL wants a relationship, I think you’re in great shape!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your overly dramatic subject line tells me all I need to know. Opening this I thought for sure she ignores you all the time, which is what your subject line implies.

I interpreted this as the MIL wishing the plane goes down, sparing her precious son and (perhaps) the grandchildren, while instantly killing her DIL.

Why don't the rest of you see it this way!!!

[Anonymous]

Let me guess, you also get upset when people don’t like every single Instagram and Facebook post you put up.

[Anonymous]

I'm struggling to see where the slight is. I wouldn't expect a separate text message. I would assume that she is sending it to DH and that she is happy to see you both. Unless she is rude to you in person or ignores you in person this is really a non issue.

Of course she will send a text to her son to say thanks for the gift, its a given that this is for you as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you that you are taking this advice/feedback, OP. Truly, good to hear that you told DH not to pursue this. I am impressed that someone on this forum actually listened to reason and put it in practice.

Totally. Well done, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP this post made me laugh so hard.

My MIL has a wedding photo of us in her house, except it is a portrait of my DH. I am not in any photo, of my own wedding.

And you know what, I really honestly don't care a hoot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have it pretty good! As others have said, I’d focus on the substance of the relationship (quality time together) and would be grateful to have an overall good relationship.

My DW and I have been together for 21 years and my MIL still makes me get out of family pictures because I’m not “real” family—only blood relatives qualify. She does the same thing to her DILs too. As long as your MIL wants a relationship, I think you’re in great shape!

Haha, these are my parents, too. My mother also frequently asks when I can visit them alone (meaning, without my spouse and kids!). My DH jokes it is because I am an only child …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There have been many posts that seem to be the MIL venting about the DIL.

Now I am a DIL with an issue. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. My MIL I feel sometimes forgets that my husband is married with a wife and that she has a DIL and I exist.

Examples of this being we will be flying somewhere and she will just text my husband to have a safe flight instead despite the fact that we are both flying and texting in a group chat to both of us have a safe flight.

When we come to visit she will just text my husband saying she is looking forward to seeing him again instead of simply texting both of us which isn't hard to do and takes zero effort and saying I'm looking forward to seeing you guys.

When we get her a gift for mother's day she will just text my husband to thank him.

When we flew up for her birthday she just texted my husband it was so great to see you instead of us both again despite the fact me her DIL was present as well.

I want my husband to address this slight to his mother as it will be perceived better coming from him.

Your MIL doesn't sound terrible. Mild b1tch. Just flip her some texts with multiple recipients and she'll get the drift. Next thank you only to DH? Big fat text back at it with glad you liked the gift I picked out for you from myself and DH. Limit gifts to 1 at Christmas or Hanukkah. One of my adult DC's will have the true MIL from he11. Woman is truly evil.

[Anonymous]

It sounds fine op. As long as you get along in person. My mil favors sil. After our wedding, she ordered tons of photos of herself and sil and put them up in her house. Dh and I laughed. We now (years later) live across the country and on one visit dh noticed there were a few pics of our kids, lots of pics of his sister and none of him (I do not need a pic of me displayed). He later sent his mom a pic and she put it in a spot one could barely see. Be happy your dh and mom get along. My dh bought his mom a gift card (the only gift she wants) and stuck it inside the kids’ birthday card to her. She left a voicemail only thanking them for the gift when she knows who really bought it. Never thanked dh (or me but I don’t care). Sounds like you don’t need to run interference. If you want an independent relationship, you can start texting her before and after visits like you said.

[Anonymous]

Next you'll be complaining that your MIL always texts you and asks about plans instead of contacting her own son.

Seriously, get over it and find something real to be upset about. This isn't it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a SIL and I only text my SIL when it’s either her birthday or I need her input for a decision. That’s because I don’t really care about her (I don’t hate her but don’t love her either and I don’t always like her as a person).
I don’t know why you expect your mil to love you.
She doesn’t hate you and that’s as much as you can hope for.
Sorry I am just being honest

Are you serious? You don't even care about your SIL your own family member why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a SIL and I only text my SIL when it’s either her birthday or I need her input for a decision. That’s because I don’t really care about her (I don’t hate her but don’t love her either and I don’t always like her as a person).
I don’t know why you expect your mil to love you.
She doesn’t hate you and that’s as much as you can hope for.
Sorry I am just being honest

Are you serious? You don't even care about your SIL your own family member why?

[Anonymous]

Let it go.

[Anonymous]

NP. Jesus that's pretty sad that your bar is set show low with family that you are happy with the fact your in laws don't hate you. Aim higher people! I think most MILs actually care about their DILs.

[Anonymous]

I think that this is fine. I am saying this not to be a jerk but you sound like you maybe are really young? Did you get married when you were a teen?