Concerned About Wife’s Pregnancy Weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend who had an eating disorder in college only gained 18 pounds with both of her pregnancies. Healthy babies. I think she still has food issues.

Both pregnancies prompted comments from her OB to eat more/gain more. But she ended up with babies weighing 7-8lbs.

OP here. The baby is doing well and is measuring fine. Slightly smaller for a boy but the doctor isn’t concerned.

I think it is food issues. I want to see if she will see a therapist but I don’t want to make her feel bad about it. I know she has issues from past weight gain. She has worked really hard to get her body into shape at a point she felt happy about and then we got pregnant. She had told me she doesn’t plan to breastfeed because she would like to lose the weight quickly and you can’t diet while breastfeeding.

Going to call troll now. There's been a poster who has obsession with posting about pregnant or postpartum women and how much say their husbands should have in things like selecting the OB, breastfeeding, and now weight gain.



If not a troll I feel very sorry for his wife.

Yeah, I tend to agree. The not breastfeeding comment did it for me. Everyone knows you burn calories when you breastfeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s crazy that a man having concern for his wife and his unborn child is now called “ troll” and that he’s over stepping. It’s his child and he has every right to make sure his child is healthy.

I think people are calling troll because

- he mentions very late dr is concerned about gain. 12 lbs at 27 weeks is actually pretty good and on track to gaining at least 20 lbs by 40 weeks, but likely I’ll hit the 25-35 lb mark

-says his wife was 120 lbs but he also dates BBW then uses the word t*its. So eloquent and caring.

-conveniently can see all the food she eats in an app, to share with everyone here.

[Anonymous]

12lbs at 27 weeks was about what I gained. I gained a pound a week from 12 weeks to 42 weeks and still gained 30lbs. Your wife has 13 weeks to go and would then have gained 25lbs.

But really, pregnancy is a mind f$&@. I’d be more concerned about nutrition than calories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend who had an eating disorder in college only gained 18 pounds with both of her pregnancies. Healthy babies. I think she still has food issues.

Both pregnancies prompted comments from her OB to eat more/gain more. But she ended up with babies weighing 7-8lbs.

OP here. The baby is doing well and is measuring fine. Slightly smaller for a boy but the doctor isn’t concerned.

I think it is food issues. I want to see if she will see a therapist but I don’t want to make her feel bad about it. I know she has issues from past weight gain. She has worked really hard to get her body into shape at a point she felt happy about and then we got pregnant. She had told me she doesn’t plan to breastfeed because she would like to lose the weight quickly and you can’t diet while breastfeeding.

Going to call troll now. There's been a poster who has obsession with posting about pregnant or postpartum women and how much say their husbands should have in things like selecting the OB, breastfeeding, and now weight gain.



If not a troll I feel very sorry for his wife.

Yeah, I tend to agree. The not breastfeeding comment did it for me. Everyone knows you burn calories when you breastfeed.

That may be true for you but many women don’t lose all of the pregnancy weight until they stopped breastfeeding. Many women I know held onto 5-10lbs until they stopped breastfeeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s crazy that a man having concern for his wife and his unborn child is now called “ troll” and that he’s over stepping. It’s his child and he has every right to make sure his child is healthy.

I think people are calling troll because

- he mentions very late dr is concerned about gain. 12 lbs at 27 weeks is actually pretty good and on track to gaining at least 20 lbs by 40 weeks, but likely I’ll hit the 25-35 lb mark

-says his wife was 120 lbs but he also dates BBW then uses the word t*its. So eloquent and caring.

-conveniently can see all the food she eats in an app, to share with everyone here.

So a man can’t date a skinny woman and also like BBW women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s crazy that a man having concern for his wife and his unborn child is now called “ troll” and that he’s over stepping. It’s his child and he has every right to make sure his child is healthy.

I think people are calling troll because

- he mentions very late dr is concerned about gain. 12 lbs at 27 weeks is actually pretty good and on track to gaining at least 20 lbs by 40 weeks, but likely I’ll hit the 25-35 lb mark

-says his wife was 120 lbs but he also dates BBW then uses the word t*its. So eloquent and caring.

-conveniently can see all the food she eats in an app, to share with everyone here.

OP here.

- The weight gain was my second response after someone asked. I didn’t think to share it in my first post because it was already long. Her doctor doesn’t think it’s enough and has told her twice that she would like her to gain more weight.

- Men can be attracted to any different shapes and sizes, just like women. I’ve dated skinny women with small breasts and blonde women with big breasts. I’ve dated BBW women because I don’t some extra curves. My wife is skinny but that doesn’t matter to me. I would have still liked her if I met her when she was overweight. The word t*ts is just a word and nothing to get upset about.

- I already said that I know what she eats because I cook most of the food. We are both at home and I make all of our meals and check in to make sure she ate or if she is hungry and needs to eat. She did use an app because she wanted to make sure she was getting enough nutrients in the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Give her life of eggs! I heard a podcast about how pregnant women aren't getting enough eggs, and it's perfect for brain health! Wild Blueberries and eggs! I use wild blueberry powder. Wild blueberries are more nutritious. Different than regular..

[Anonymous]

Why not just embrace it and love her. She is your wife and carrying your child.

Signed a DH who doesn’t appreciate aholes helping to perpetuate the stereotype that all men are aholes.

[Anonymous]

I'm the pp with the friend with the eating disorder who only gained 18lbs. I think the OP's wife has very obvious issues with food, and I think it's weird that others are so quick to criticize the op for showing concern.

I have another friend who has a very obvious eating disorder. She hardly gained any weight during pregnancy at all and ran marathon-esque runs daily even when her doctor told her to stop since she was getting massive headaches (and likely depriving herself and her babies of sufficient nutrients/calories). She had smaller babies, fwiw. And, her kids have developed her disordered relationship with food (I've heard them say things like, "Too much fruit isn't good for you because fruit has sugar and sugar adds empty calories.").

It's one thing to eat healthy and exercise, but everyone should be able to tell the difference when someone has unhealthy issues with food, weight, etc.

I listened to my friend complain about her ob constantly suggesting she eat more and put on some weight, but eventually I said, "If your OB is telling you to eat more and put on weight, then listen to her. She's just doing her job and trying to help you do your job to grow a healthy baby. I know you don't want to gain too much weight, but the problem you currently have is not gaining enough. You need to eat more, and you know it."

She got really, really mad at me. Not at first, and not to my face. Her husband actually reached out to thank me because his suggestions were falling on deaf ears. Long story short, she came around. She started eating a scoop of ice cream each night along with eggs in the morning. Again: she only ended up gaining 18lbs, but at least she eventually got there.

We're old now (late 40s/early 50s) and she's having calcium and bone issues which I suspect are related to her disordered eating. If you look at her, she looks fabulous: size 2, nice chest (that's genetics), very fit, tan, good hair, etc. But she has health issues that are likely tied to her issues with food and weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend who had an eating disorder in college only gained 18 pounds with both of her pregnancies. Healthy babies. I think she still has food issues.

Both pregnancies prompted comments from her OB to eat more/gain more. But she ended up with babies weighing 7-8lbs.

OP here. The baby is doing well and is measuring fine. Slightly smaller for a boy but the doctor isn’t concerned.

I think it is food issues. I want to see if she will see a therapist but I don’t want to make her feel bad about it. I know she has issues from past weight gain. She has worked really hard to get her body into shape at a point she felt happy about and then we got pregnant. She had told me she doesn’t plan to breastfeed because she would like to lose the weight quickly and you can’t diet while breastfeeding.

Going to call troll now. There's been a poster who has obsession with posting about pregnant or postpartum women and how much say their husbands should have in things like selecting the OB, breastfeeding, and now weight gain.



If not a troll I feel very sorry for his wife.

Yeah, I tend to agree. The not breastfeeding comment did it for me. Everyone knows you burn calories when you breastfeed.

That may be true for you but many women don’t lose all of the pregnancy weight until they stopped breastfeeding. Many women I know held onto 5-10lbs until they stopped breastfeeding.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:25-35 lbs?!? Every pregnancy I gained 40-50lbs. Lost all but 10 lbs each time.

OP not your business to lecture your wife on weight. Her OB monitors her.

+1

I lost all of it within 1 year for the first and 6 months for the second.

I worked out the entire pregnancies and ate healthy. It’s what my body does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp with the friend with the eating disorder who only gained 18lbs. I think the OP's wife has very obvious issues with food, and I think it's weird that others are so quick to criticize the op for showing concern.

I have another friend who has a very obvious eating disorder. She hardly gained any weight during pregnancy at all and ran marathon-esque runs daily even when her doctor told her to stop since she was getting massive headaches (and likely depriving herself and her babies of sufficient nutrients/calories). She had smaller babies, fwiw. And, her kids have developed her disordered relationship with food (I've heard them say things like, "Too much fruit isn't good for you because fruit has sugar and sugar adds empty calories.").

It's one thing to eat healthy and exercise, but everyone should be able to tell the difference when someone has unhealthy issues with food, weight, etc.

I listened to my friend complain about her ob constantly suggesting she eat more and put on some weight, but eventually I said, "If your OB is telling you to eat more and put on weight, then listen to her. She's just doing her job and trying to help you do your job to grow a healthy baby. I know you don't want to gain too much weight, but the problem you currently have is not gaining enough. You need to eat more, and you know it."

She got really, really mad at me. Not at first, and not to my face. Her husband actually reached out to thank me because his suggestions were falling on deaf ears. Long story short, she came around. She started eating a scoop of ice cream each night along with eggs in the morning. Again: she only ended up gaining 18lbs, but at least she eventually got there.

We're old now (late 40s/early 50s) and she's having calcium and bone issues which I suspect are related to her disordered eating. If you look at her, she looks fabulous: size 2, nice chest (that's genetics), very fit, tan, good hair, etc. But she has health issues that are likely tied to her issues with food and weight.

OP here. Finally someone who gets it. I’m not controlling. I wouldn’t have brought it up if her doctor said everything was fine. Our baby is measuring within normal range but small because her eating. She counts calories and weighs out her food. She has been doing this for years. She doesn’t eat anything that isn’t organic, pasture raised, or processed foods. I worry that she isn’t eating enough. She works out for 1-2 hours a day and her eating is not enough. She doesn’t do high impact training or anything but she does lots of low impact workouts and walking everyday. Her doctor recommend she eats 1700-2000 calories a day and she only eats about 1500. Her body before pregnancy was shot 1700 calories to maintain her weight. She never ate enough. She will down water to control her hunger if she thinks she ate too much. That’s an issue. I don’t want my kid to grow up having issues with food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp with the friend with the eating disorder who only gained 18lbs. I think the OP's wife has very obvious issues with food, and I think it's weird that others are so quick to criticize the op for showing concern.

I have another friend who has a very obvious eating disorder. She hardly gained any weight during pregnancy at all and ran marathon-esque runs daily even when her doctor told her to stop since she was getting massive headaches (and likely depriving herself and her babies of sufficient nutrients/calories). She had smaller babies, fwiw. And, her kids have developed her disordered relationship with food (I've heard them say things like, "Too much fruit isn't good for you because fruit has sugar and sugar adds empty calories.").

It's one thing to eat healthy and exercise, but everyone should be able to tell the difference when someone has unhealthy issues with food, weight, etc.

I listened to my friend complain about her ob constantly suggesting she eat more and put on some weight, but eventually I said, "If your OB is telling you to eat more and put on weight, then listen to her. She's just doing her job and trying to help you do your job to grow a healthy baby. I know you don't want to gain too much weight, but the problem you currently have is not gaining enough. You need to eat more, and you know it."

She got really, really mad at me. Not at first, and not to my face. Her husband actually reached out to thank me because his suggestions were falling on deaf ears. Long story short, she came around. She started eating a scoop of ice cream each night along with eggs in the morning. Again: she only ended up gaining 18lbs, but at least she eventually got there.

We're old now (late 40s/early 50s) and she's having calcium and bone issues which I suspect are related to her disordered eating. If you look at her, she looks fabulous: size 2, nice chest (that's genetics), very fit, tan, good hair, etc. But she has health issues that are likely tied to her issues with food and weight.

OP here. Finally someone who gets it. I’m not controlling. I wouldn’t have brought it up if her doctor said everything was fine. Our baby is measuring within normal range but small because her eating. She counts calories and weighs out her food. She has been doing this for years. She doesn’t eat anything that isn’t organic, pasture raised, or processed foods. I worry that she isn’t eating enough. She works out for 1-2 hours a day and her eating is not enough. She doesn’t do high impact training or anything but she does lots of low impact workouts and walking everyday. Her doctor recommend she eats 1700-2000 calories a day and she only eats about 1500. Her body before pregnancy was shot 1700 calories to maintain her weight. She never ate enough. She will down water to control her hunger if she thinks she ate too much. That’s an issue. I don’t want my kid to grow up having issues with food.

Whether you wife has food issues if a separate issue. But she IS eating enough because she has gained 12 lbs. That is a very normal weight gain amount for 27 weeks. She’ll likely gain a pound per week until 40 weeks putting her right around 25 lbs. That is fine.

[Anonymous]

I gained about 25-30 lbs with #1, had a healthy 8 kn baby

I started thin and gained less than 15 with #2 (was sick and enduring an extremely traumatic time) and I did not eat enough I was put on bed rest in my third trimester b/c baby measured so small. She was born full term 4 1/2 lbs and may have some lifelong issues.
.op, like his wife's OB, is right to be concerned.

I wasn't trying to not gain, btw, but eating was so hard. I had to force myself for the baby

[Anonymous]

She is fine. I had hyperemesis gravardium with both pregnancies and lost between 25 - 28 pounds by 28 weeks with both girls. At birth, I gained 6 pounds with the first and 11 pounds with the 2nd and this was only because of HELLP with the first and Pre-E with the second in which I gained 9 pounds in a week. Afterwards, I was 15 pounds below pre-pregnancy weight, which was average weight for me. Both kids were healthy although the first came a month early. The baby takes what it needs.