Tiktok for 12yo DD - pls share your experience

[Anonymous]

I recently downloaded the app and am surprised at how much it’s dominated by pretty girls showing off their rich boyfriends/husbands. I think it’s amusing but as a teen, I would have maybe felt insecure watching these girls’ videos every day.

[Anonymous]

DD went down the TikTok rabbit hole. It wasn’t the more “extreme” stuff like the shocking racism or porn etc. the more typical things are an insidious onslaught of images and messages (through the postings) the influence thoughts about social status and body imagine. That’s the norm - constantly comparing and seeing likes and negative feedback and no real social context or perspective- and often in isolation. And then if your kid stumble onto some materials and then keeps looking at it, the algorithms feed you more. So my daughter started looking at workout things which led to diet culture and diet “tips and tricks” and then pro-Ana (anorexia) networks. All and all a bad scene. (Just to note almost any kid can be negatively influenced and impacted by this - but typically becoming truly anorexic or mental illness level anxiety has a genetic component - so not to beyond over scare but that is is about 10%)
Anyway even with this, we’ve worked with mental health team we now have - and do let daughter learn and do many of the TikTok dances - but she uses TikTok only in room with us - and we monitor and have mirror account. Also be sure to set restrictive mode. Which isn’t the best but does limit a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD went down the TikTok rabbit hole. It wasn’t the more “extreme” stuff like the shocking racism or porn etc. the more typical things are an insidious onslaught of images and messages (through the postings) the influence thoughts about social status and body imagine. That’s the norm - constantly comparing and seeing likes and negative feedback and no real social context or perspective- and often in isolation. And then if your kid stumble onto some materials and then keeps looking at it, the algorithms feed you more. So my daughter started looking at workout things which led to diet culture and diet “tips and tricks” and then pro-Ana (anorexia) networks. All and all a bad scene. (Just to note almost any kid can be negatively influenced and impacted by this - but typically becoming truly anorexic or mental illness level anxiety has a genetic component - so not to beyond over scare but that is is about 10%)
Anyway even with this, we’ve worked with mental health team we now have - and do let daughter learn and do many of the TikTok dances - but she uses TikTok only in room with us - and we monitor and have mirror account. Also be sure to set restrictive mode. Which isn’t the best but does limit a lot.

Oops meant to echo also what others have noted - have clear and honest conversations about social media, relationships on and off line, and significantly limit use.

[Anonymous]

I think many of you are missing the point.

Your teen can find bad things on you tube. Internet etc. tik tok is no different. So you need to shut all that off.

I find the tik tok videos my 13 year olds watches abs created funny and age appropriate. Lots of dogs, baking, dancing (with moms)

I will continue watching and see if things get worse as she gets older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD went down the TikTok rabbit hole. It wasn’t the more “extreme” stuff like the shocking racism or porn etc. the more typical things are an insidious onslaught of images and messages (through the postings) the influence thoughts about social status and body imagine. That’s the norm - constantly comparing and seeing likes and negative feedback and no real social context or perspective- and often in isolation. And then if your kid stumble onto some materials and then keeps looking at it, the algorithms feed you more. So my daughter started looking at workout things which led to diet culture and diet “tips and tricks” and then pro-Ana (anorexia) networks. All and all a bad scene. (Just to note almost any kid can be negatively influenced and impacted by this - but typically becoming truly anorexic or mental illness level anxiety has a genetic component - so not to beyond over scare but that is is about 10%)
Anyway even with this, we’ve worked with mental health team we now have - and do let daughter learn and do many of the TikTok dances - but she uses TikTok only in room with us - and we monitor and have mirror account. Also be sure to set restrictive mode. Which isn’t the best but does limit a lot.

Has TikTok offered to pay for any part of your daughter’s therapy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 12yo DD is pleading for access to tiktok. She has no other social media. I feel like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. My instinct is to say no but I realise she is already feeling left out as her friends share songs and dances. I realise it’s only meant to be for ages 13 and over. For those children already have access, please share your experience including downsides and precautions you took. If I say no, it needs to be a considered no. For further background, she already suffers from anxiety and has weekly therapy sessions.

We don't allow Tik Tok because we are at least trying to slow China down in getting all of our data.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you are missing the point.

Your teen can find bad things on you tube. Internet etc. tik tok is no different. So you need to shut all that off.

I find the tik tok videos my 13 year olds watches abs created funny and age appropriate. Lots of dogs, baking, dancing (with moms)

I will continue watching and see if things get worse as she gets older

The entire valuation of the Tik Tok parent company is based on the fact that it is far far superior targeting platform. It zeros in on your interests within 15 minutes of usage. It is not like Google or You Tube or what not, where you have to go looking. Tik Tok peers deep into your soul and feeds to its worst instincts. It is just not another app.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you are missing the point.

Your teen can find bad things on you tube. Internet etc. tik tok is no different. So you need to shut all that off.

I find the tik tok videos my 13 year olds watches abs created funny and age appropriate. Lots of dogs, baking, dancing (with moms)

I will continue watching and see if things get worse as she gets older

The entire valuation of the Tik Tok parent company is based on the fact that it is far far superior targeting platform. It zeros in on your interests within 15 minutes of usage. It is not like Google or You Tube or what not, where you have to go looking. Tik Tok peers deep into your soul and feeds to its worst instincts. It is just not another app.

+1 I've heard multiple people act as if Tik Tok is reading their mind. They are not familiar with how sophisticated and targeted TikTok is.

[Anonymous]

Probably you will give your kid TikTok, but there is nothing on that platform that will help her anxiety. Any introduction to social media for your daughter should include her therapist.

[Anonymous]

Son has Tiktok. I was not a fan but his uncle let him get it without my knowledge. So probably had it earlier than I would have liked. He may not post without my approval. Even if he is travelling with a friend he sends it to me for approval. If he is in his best friend's video I also clear that.

For us it is a good balance and works well. He posted often when he first got it and now hardly ever.

He does know a kid who did the devious licks thing and got in trouble at school. He agrees it was stupid.

Of course my son is more of a defy me than defy the establishment kind of kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I looked around on it. Without much effort I found a lot of hard core porn.

I spend a LOT of time on TikTok (Im a 44 year old mom) and have never seen porn. Some women in shirts showing cleavage trying to promote traffic to their only fans page, yes. But thats it.

Because TikTok knows you are a woman and not interested in looking at porn. I watch softcore porn all the time. It is by far the most time saving way to consume porn for me. It knows my needs to a T.

Weird. I’m a woman, I use tiktok, and I watch Pron (way more often than I would like to admit). I see adult-ish content on tiktok all the time (like tips, which are great), but never anything explicit. I wonder why. But I’m glad, since I do let my kids look at me tiktok account sometimes. I’m not worried about them seeing my FYP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you are missing the point.

Your teen can find bad things on you tube. Internet etc. tik tok is no different. So you need to shut all that off.

I find the tik tok videos my 13 year olds watches abs created funny and age appropriate. Lots of dogs, baking, dancing (with moms)

I will continue watching and see if things get worse as she gets older

I honestly love tik-tok. Of all the social media, it is my favorite. My 13yr old has it and all of her friends do, even the ones whose parent's don't allow it. They just use another email and use it through the web browser or ghost site it. Kids are always smarter than you on phone and social media usage.

I follow and my 13yr old follows me too. I made an account just to keep an eye on her. Her 20yr old sister also follows her and lets me know if anything is up that I am missing. They basically watch videos and learn dances, trending songs, funny animal posts, stupid posts etc... I look at her page every night.

Snap is the app that I am not budging on because I can not monitor it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you are missing the point.

Your teen can find bad things on you tube. Internet etc. tik tok is no different. So you need to shut all that off.

I find the tik tok videos my 13 year olds watches abs created funny and age appropriate. Lots of dogs, baking, dancing (with moms)

I will continue watching and see if things get worse as she gets older

The entire valuation of the Tik Tok parent company is based on the fact that it is far far superior targeting platform. It zeros in on your interests within 15 minutes of usage. It is not like Google or You Tube or what not, where you have to go looking. Tik Tok peers deep into your soul and feeds to its worst instincts. It is just not another app.

You parents are utterly clueless. All of social media apps and google do the same exact thing. So does the You Tube app, which by the way has full on rated X and porn movies on the site. It is our generation's Cinemax.

I have never seen porn on tik Tok, but I guess it knows mine and my daughter's soul isn't interested in porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before we deleted TikTok, dd found this racist video (it’s still up on YouTube, unfortunately):

If this is the most racist example you can come up with, you are kind of making the point of the pro-tiktok posters for them. This is just a bad song and bad video. Like hurts the ears bad.

[Anonymous]

Noooooo. No.