Tiktok for 12yo DD - pls share your experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call me a prude but the language is just so awful in so many videos. I saw a friend's very small girls dancing and lip syncing some highly inappropriate lyrics with no idea what it meant. She was horrified when she saw it, but by then it had been widely viewed.

Especially the “N” word in almost every song they listen to. Kids do not want the radio / censored versions of those songs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's are a lot worse things they can being doing than TikTok. My 13 year old has it. She gets bored of it easily and it's not something she spends all of her time doing. I don't love the songs on Tiktok (she wants to listen to the TikTok XM channel), but again, a lot worse stuff out there. She knows not to engage on there and would tell me if she felt uncomfortable with something she encountered on there. If she spent all of her time on TT and didn't participate in sports or never left her room to see her friends, I'd be concerned, but TikTok to this generation is what AOL chat rooms were to mine. There were people doing weird stuff in those chat rooms and there are people doing weird stuff on TT and you just have to know how to navigate it.

The bolded is a good point. I struggle with social media as well, but as of now, my DD has all of them, with overall screen time limits that are very generous. I will take her phone every few weeks and scroll through her pages to see what she is seeing.

I know it may be a bit defeatist, but the world is happening online and will increasingly get more so. My approach is to let my child live with that world and learn to navigate it early. We have conversations about racism and porn and body image arising from that content just as we would if it were coming from students at school, TV, or Seventeen magazine...

You might want to thoroughly read the WSJ article discussed here:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1001008.page

[Anonymous]

I have a tik tok and while I enjoy some of the content the commenters are so ridiculously mean, uneducated, and ridiculous. Also some of the content is very explicit. There is no way in hell I'd let my 12 year old watch it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's are a lot worse things they can being doing than TikTok. My 13 year old has it. She gets bored of it easily and it's not something she spends all of her time doing. I don't love the songs on Tiktok (she wants to listen to the TikTok XM channel), but again, a lot worse stuff out there. She knows not to engage on there and would tell me if she felt uncomfortable with something she encountered on there. If she spent all of her time on TT and didn't participate in sports or never left her room to see her friends, I'd be concerned, but TikTok to this generation is what AOL chat rooms were to mine. There were people doing weird stuff in those chat rooms and there are people doing weird stuff on TT and you just have to know how to navigate it.

The bolded is a good point. I struggle with social media as well, but as of now, my DD has all of them, with overall screen time limits that are very generous. I will take her phone every few weeks and scroll through her pages to see what she is seeing.

I know it may be a bit defeatist, but the world is happening online and will increasingly get more so. My approach is to let my child live with that world and learn to navigate it early. We have conversations about racism and porn and body image arising from that content just as we would if it were coming from students at school, TV, or Seventeen magazine...

You might want to thoroughly read the WSJ article discussed here:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1001008.page

I did read it, and I found it concerning. I still am OK with my choice. Not saying there is a right or wrong choice here. But the way I choose to parent is generally to not keep my child away from the bad parts of the world for the short time that I can, but rather help her navigate through them and learn coping skills and good judgment. OF COURSE there are limits on that philosophy. But we all draw the line in different places. As long as we are engaged parents, I am optimistic for good outcomes.

[Anonymous]

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/tiktok-shares-new-mental-health-resources-as-instagram-faces-backlash-over-its-influence-on-teens-11631822975

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teens-and-social-media-use/art-20474437

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.marketwatch.com/story/tiktok-shares-new-mental-health-resources-as-instagram-faces-backlash-over-its-influence-on-teens-11631822975

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teens-and-social-media-use/art-20474437

Interestingly, that mayo link does not suggest prohibiting social media. Rather it suggests strategies to make sure a kid is using it responsibly:

Protecting your teen
There are steps you can take to encourage responsible use of social media and limit some of its negative effects. Consider these tips:

Set reasonable limits. Talk to your teen about how to avoid letting social media interfere with his or her activities, sleep, meals or homework. Encourage a bedtime routine that avoids electronic media use, and keep cellphones and tablets out of teens' bedrooms. Set an example by following these rules yourself.
Monitor your teen's accounts. Let your teen know that you'll be regularly checking his or her social media accounts. You might aim to do so once a week or more. Make sure you follow through.
Explain what's not OK. Discourage your teen from gossiping, spreading rumors, bullying or damaging someone's reputation — online or otherwise. Talk to your teen about what is appropriate and safe to share on social media.
Encourage face-to-face contact with friends. This is particularly important for teens vulnerable to social anxiety disorder.
Talk about social media. Talk about your own social media habits. Ask your teen how he or she is using social media and how it makes him or her feel. Remind your teen that social media is full of unrealistic images

[Anonymous]

While you are at it, you might also want to talk about responsible use of weed and having a healthy sex life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a tik tok and while I enjoy some of the content the commenters are so ridiculously mean, uneducated, and ridiculous. Also some of the content is very explicit. There is no way in hell I'd let my 12 year old watch it.

No TikTok for our kids, 11 and 13.

At worst, it is harmful: racist content, porn, and general mean-spirited comments. Plus the vandalism instructed by TikTok actually happened at DD’s middle school (Longfellow).

At best: it is an idiotic time-suck and more harmful screen time.

No way we’d allow it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before we deleted TikTok, dd found this racist video (it’s still up on YouTube, unfortunately):

If this is the most racist example you can come up with, you are kind of making the point of the pro-tiktok posters for them. This is just a bad song and bad video. Like hurts the ears bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I looked around on it. Without much effort I found a lot of hard core porn.

I spend a LOT of time on TikTok (Im a 44 year old mom) and have never seen porn. Some women in shirts showing cleavage trying to promote traffic to their only fans page, yes. But thats it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I looked around on it. Without much effort I found a lot of hard core porn.

I spend a LOT of time on TikTok (Im a 44 year old mom) and have never seen porn. Some women in shirts showing cleavage trying to promote traffic to their only fans page, yes. But thats it.

Because TikTok knows you are a woman and not interested in looking at porn. I watch softcore porn all the time. It is by far the most time saving way to consume porn for me. It knows my needs to a T.

[Anonymous]

it's less toxic than instagram. low bar, but still...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before we deleted TikTok, dd found this racist video (it’s still up on YouTube, unfortunately):

If this is the most racist example you can come up with, you are kind of making the point of the pro-tiktok posters for them. This is just a bad song and bad video. Like hurts the ears bad.

Um, yeah - pp? I don’t spend my time actively looking for racist / anti-Asian garbage on TikTok; do you? (And if so, why??)

This racist example is simply something my kids stumbled upon.

If you think racism is harmless, I feel really sorry for you, and even more sorry for the example you are setting for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Allowing your teen to use TikTok is simply bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I looked around on it. Without much effort I found a lot of hard core porn.

I spend a LOT of time on TikTok (Im a 44 year old mom) and have never seen porn. Some women in shirts showing cleavage trying to promote traffic to their only fans page, yes. But thats it.

Because TikTok knows you are a woman and not interested in looking at porn. I watch softcore porn all the time. It is by far the most time saving way to consume porn for me. It knows my needs to a T.

+1 how dumb are you people