Dogs at our house for Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a dog lover but my sister’s dogs ruin pretty much every thanksgiving. They shred my parents’ leather couch, claw the woodwork, bark nonstop and beg for food. They get really aggressive mostly with my toddlers while they eat and try to knock food out of their hands. So then for dinners and actual Thanksgiving we have them barricaded. But then they howl…. It’s never ending. My parents allow them because otherwise they wouldn’t see my sister.

I actually have a small dog we bring and my parents have a dog too (theirs is big like my sisters) but our dogs just lay in the corner on their beds and behave. Same with my brother before his dog died. The difference is crazy. My dog wouldn’t even dream of begging for food. Some dogs are basically animals and can’t be civilized.

"Some " dogs?? All dogs ate animals! You should have said " some owners train their dogs to behave and some don't. All dogs can be trained and uncivilized

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a dog lover but my sister’s dogs ruin pretty much every thanksgiving. They shred my parents’ leather couch, claw the woodwork, bark nonstop and beg for food. They get really aggressive mostly with my toddlers while they eat and try to knock food out of their hands. So then for dinners and actual Thanksgiving we have them barricaded. But then they howl…. It’s never ending. My parents allow them because otherwise they wouldn’t see my sister.

I actually have a small dog we bring and my parents have a dog too (theirs is big like my sisters) but our dogs just lay in the corner on their beds and behave. Same with my brother before his dog died. The difference is crazy. My dog wouldn’t even dream of begging for food. Some dogs are basically animals and can’t be civilized.

"Some " dogs?? All dogs ate animals! You should have said " some owners train their dogs to behave and some don't. All dogs can be trained and uncivilized

Meant and be civilized.

[Anonymous]

Covid is a time of change for everyone. OP is hosting a big party. Added dogs is just added stress. Time for new traditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I’ve always gone to Aunt Maude’s house for Thanksgiving and brought my dog and now you want to host but not allow my dog or say it has to stay in the garage, I am going to request that we move it back to Aunt Maude’s house. I think it’s fair for you to say no dogs on couch , beds etc.

Orrr you could grow up a bit and accept that you don't call the shots and do not get to "request" a venue change for a group event because your animals are not allowed to attend lol. Some of these responses are wild (but not terribly surprising from dog people).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No dogs indoors. That's completely reasonable. You can allow them outside or in the garage, but I wouldn't let them in the house. Presumably you've seen how these dogs behave at previous events, and they don't sound well behaved (sticking their faces in people's food, jumping on furniture) and their owners don't seem to care enough to keep them in check.

It is not reasonable to expect to bring your dog everywhere you go, regardless of the hosts' wishes. The only compromise I'd accept is that the dogs be crated the entire time they are in my house, period, or else they stay outdoors.

Not op, but I don’t think op said she’s seen these dogs misbehave. I think she was generally annoyed that some people allow dogs to misbehave.

Op, some people let their kids misbehave. It takes some preplanning to get it done.

I’d say you say “no dogs”. Whatever happens happens.

Even if you leave on the yard or garage they could mark their territory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are really helpful, thanks. No there is no tradition of people bringing dogs to the holidays. For one family it is a brand new dog (they’ve had it for less than a year) and the other family is usually excluded from family gatherings but they live close so we invited them. It had never occurred to me they would want to bring dogs to such a crowded gathering until they mentioned it.

Oh boy. So the new dog family has no experience how their dog will handle being around a lot of other people never mind another dog.

And the other family is not part of whatever tradition there is. (why is the other family "usually excluded"? did you just mean they don't ordinarily attend but are coming because you live close?)

I say no, unless they agree the dogs will be kenneled outside/in garage to accommodate if they don't have available dog sitting arrangements. Seriously, you do NOT know how two dogs will interact with each other or a lot of people they are not used to being around a lot. I speak as another dog owner who is pretty comfortable with chaos and lets pets on the furniture.

[Anonymous]

I never assume my dog is welcome unless I’m expressly told she is. And I never ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These responses are really helpful, thanks. No there is no tradition of people bringing dogs to the holidays. For one family it is a brand new dog (they’ve had it for less than a year) and the other family is usually excluded from family gatherings but they live close so we invited them. It had never occurred to me they would want to bring dogs to such a crowded gathering until they mentioned it.

Oh boy. So the new dog family has no experience how their dog will handle being around a lot of other people never mind another dog.

And the other family is not part of whatever tradition there is. (why is the other family "usually excluded"? did you just mean they don't ordinarily attend but are coming because you live close?)

I say no, unless they agree the dogs will be kenneled outside/in garage to accommodate if they don't have available dog sitting arrangements. Seriously, you do NOT know how two dogs will interact with each other or a lot of people they are not used to being around a lot. I speak as another dog owner who is pretty comfortable with chaos and lets pets on the furniture.

Good point about the interaction of the dogs. Once my sister and I both brought our dogs to visit my parents (with their permission). It was awful. The dogs started having a peeing to claim their territory battle. We never did that again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them they need to be leashed and kept an eye one,no running free for all through the house. This happened to me where the dog jumped up and peed on an upholstered chair, the owner thought it was funny.

This is the only way I’d allow it - in the yard and leashed.

I would not house another persons dog in my house.

[Anonymous]

I love my dogs.
Just say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It never ceases to amaze me what entitled a**holes dog owners can be. Who the he** do they think they are? Your house. Your rules. No dogs. Period.

This goes both ways. OP is being sort of inflexible here. THere are some options in between. But it's "Her New House." Get over it sweetie. Wait until you have kids.

No, not really. It really is abnormal to expect that an invitation to a person's house or event includes your animals. They are not part of your family. They are animals. Animals. They don't get invited places.

This idea that dogs are invited is a really recent trend. Growing up, plenty of our family and friends had dogs. No one would have ever thought of bringing their pets to another person's house without a specific invitation. Heck, no one would even have had the gall to ask.

I wonder what changed in the last few decades?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP of the thread below. My advice is to stand firm, brace for impact, ride it out and emerge with a dog free event. Good luck!

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/815420.page

Other OP -- any update on the hamster dog aunt or the crazy hamster dog eating cat aunt???

[Anonymous]

My husband is allergic so we have that excuse to not allow dogs. Maybe one of the people who will be at the house has an "allergy" and will play along?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is allergic so we have that excuse to not allow dogs. Maybe one of the people who will be at the house has an "allergy" and will play along?

The people OP described won't care about an allergy, whether real or made up. They have no conception of boundaries.

One thing I learned when it comes to self-absorbed people like my mother, is that you shouldn't give them any ability to debate or pick at your reasoning.

"This Thanskgiving Dinner is pet-free, so please leave your dogs at home"

"But, my dog is special and won't bother anyone."

"This Thanskgiving Dinner is pet-free, so please leave your dogs at home"

Repeat as necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never assume my dog is welcome unless I’m expressly told she is. And I never ask.

So much this. Good lord, am I starting to hate dog people.