Dogs at our house for Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

If you are no dog people own it. I would love to host well behaved dogs (no furniture no counter grazing with attentive owners) but at the same time some family may decline the invite if dogs are not included

[Anonymous]

It's entirely reasonable to say no dogs. I would.

That said, OP, it seems like your family has an established tradition of allowing the dogs at previous Thanksgivings. I can see the owners getting a little annoyed when you take over hosting duties and then exclude dogs.

Again, I wouldn't let them come. But it's unreasonable to think that you can unilaterally upend the way things have worked and expect everyone to be fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're hosting Thanksgiving for the first time in our new house for a large extended family, we've never hosted before because this is the first time we're not in a tiny apartment We're expecting 20 relatives, including some elderly parents who will be staying with us for one night, and younger relatives staying for a few nights after the elderly ones have left.

Two families are planning to bring (large) dogs. These people are very attached to their dogs and treat them like offspring, and during other events in the past (not at our place) they have insisted on bringing dogs inside, would refuse to leave them alone for an extended time, etc. DH and I aren't much into pets, and it annoys the hell out of me when pet are allowed on furniture, getting their snout into the snacks, tracking mud through the house, getting in the way in the kitchen. Yes, call me uptight, but it's my house, right?

So... how do we set parameters without causing a war? If we say 'no dogs allowed' then these families won't come and we will have imploded the Thanksgiving plan. We need to find some kind of amicable compromise. Any ideas?

I promise you these dogs will do all of the bolded and much worse. There will also be dog hair on everything. You will be grossed out long after Thanksgiving is done. Accept that hosting dogs is not something that is going to work for you.

[Anonymous]

I will never understand these posts. I have a dog. I love my dog. I have never brought my dog to someone else's house ever, especially not for a holiday visit.

No dogs. Why open the door at all. Dogs are not people. I'd rather not have the dog obsessed come than have to deal with their pets.

[Anonymous]

I’m a dog lover but my sister’s dogs ruin pretty much every thanksgiving. They shred my parents’ leather couch, claw the woodwork, bark nonstop and beg for food. They get really aggressive mostly with my toddlers while they eat and try to knock food out of their hands. So then for dinners and actual Thanksgiving we have them barricaded. But then they howl…. It’s never ending. My parents allow them because otherwise they wouldn’t see my sister.

I actually have a small dog we bring and my parents have a dog too (theirs is big like my sisters) but our dogs just lay in the corner on their beds and behave. Same with my brother before his dog died. The difference is crazy. My dog wouldn’t even dream of begging for food. Some dogs are basically animals and can’t be civilized.

[Anonymous]

When inviting just mention you have a pet free home. Or instead of Adults only - No Kids, have Humans only - No pets.

[Anonymous]

Another dog owner - just say no dogs. And say it early so they can make boarding arrangements, if desired.

[Anonymous]

This is your first holiday meal in your new home, you make the rules and anyone who complains is showing bad manners. But if you want to kick the can down the road, you can ask that since this is your first time hosting for a major holiday meal, you'd like it to be humans only and you will reconsider adding pets for next time.

[Anonymous]

No dogs. Don't open the door to future dogs. No dogs at all. It's just way too crowded and crazy and dogs never behave as well as their owners would like to believe, especially in crowded and unfamiliar settings.

How would you feel if a dog knocked over one of the elderly people and really injured them? It's just too much.

[Anonymous]

Get on Nextdoor and see if anyone has large crates you can borrow. The dogs are free to come out to go on walks but not free to roam around and get into food or get your (company clean as my mom would say) house dirty.

Don't do this. The dogs will just bark the entire time and you'll either wind up on edge from listening to that for hours, or your guests will insist on letting them out of the crates and you'll be right back where dogs are roaming your house.

Set the boundary now. "We love you and can't wait to see you. We won't be able to accommodate anyone's dog. I hope this gives you enough time to find a pet sitter or boarding spot. Thanks!"

[Anonymous]

It never ceases to amaze me what entitled a**holes dog owners can be. Who the he** do they think they are? Your house. Your rules. No dogs. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No dogs, period. Dogs are not offspring. Don't indulge that lunacy.

I say this as a woman who is childless/childfree.

You being child-free gives you no more license on the topic than anyone else.

Look, OP, I feel like this topic is beyond a horse that has been beaten to death. It's your house, you set the rules. But, I would urge you to consider what is annoying vs. what you can tolerate. If you really don't want the dogs, fine. Then the relatives a) likely won't come and, b) you'll piss them off indefinitely in any event. If you can live with a and b then proceed. And that's that. Are you looking for permission???

Personally, when you open your home to 20 + people for a holiday (ridiculous) then you have to be inclusive or people will be left out. That's how it was in our family for holidays, weddings, etc. You get the good with the bad if you want them all together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It never ceases to amaze me what entitled a**holes dog owners can be. Who the he** do they think they are? Your house. Your rules. No dogs. Period.

This goes both ways. OP is being sort of inflexible here. THere are some options in between. But it's "Her New House." Get over it sweetie. Wait until you have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Get on Nextdoor and see if anyone has large crates you can borrow. The dogs are free to come out to go on walks but not free to roam around and get into food or get your (company clean as my mom would say) house dirty.

Don't do this. The dogs will just bark the entire time and you'll either wind up on edge from listening to that for hours, or your guests will insist on letting them out of the crates and you'll be right back where dogs are roaming your house.

Set the boundary now. "We love you and can't wait to see you. We won't be able to accommodate anyone's dog. I hope this gives you enough time to find a pet sitter or boarding spot. Thanks!"

+1. Dogs who aren’t used to being crated can be wild in the crates. Howling and barking nonstop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It never ceases to amaze me what entitled a**holes dog owners can be. Who the he** do they think they are? Your house. Your rules. No dogs. Period.

This goes both ways. OP is being sort of inflexible here. THere are some options in between. But it's "Her New House." Get over it sweetie. Wait until you have kids.

Lol! OP doesn’t owe anyone any “flexibility” to let someone bring big dogs into her house.