Dogs at our house for Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

We're hosting Thanksgiving for the first time in our new house for a large extended family, we've never hosted before because this is the first time we're not in a tiny apartment We're expecting 20 relatives, including some elderly parents who will be staying with us for one night, and younger relatives staying for a few nights after the elderly ones have left.

Two families are planning to bring (large) dogs. These people are very attached to their dogs and treat them like offspring, and during other events in the past (not at our place) they have insisted on bringing dogs inside, would refuse to leave them alone for an extended time, etc. DH and I aren't much into pets, and it annoys the hell out of me when pet are allowed on furniture, getting their snout into the snacks, tracking mud through the house, getting in the way in the kitchen. Yes, call me uptight, but it's my house, right?

So... how do we set parameters without causing a war? If we say 'no dogs allowed' then these families won't come and we will have imploded the Thanksgiving plan. We need to find some kind of amicable compromise. Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

No dogs, period. Dogs are not offspring. Don't indulge that lunacy.

I say this as a woman who is childless/childfree.

[Anonymous]

Tell them they need to be leashed and kept an eye one,no running free for all through the house. This happened to me where the dog jumped up and peed on an upholstered chair, the owner thought it was funny.

[Anonymous]

Tell them no dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No dogs, period. Dogs are not offspring. Don't indulge that lunacy.

I say this as a woman who is childless/childfree.

This!!! Set the boundary now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them they need to be leashed and kept an eye one,no running free for all through the house. This happened to me where the dog jumped up and peed on an upholstered chair, the owner thought it was funny.

You can try this, but you will end up enforcing it and they will think you are a B.

No way out of this, no dogs.

[Anonymous]

It’s your house. You set the rules. We are the opposite. We have two German Shepherds. When my adult kids visit, they bring their dogs. I’ve had as many as five crazy dogs running around my house. In and out of our pool. Barking and playing. It’s crazy. They aren’t allowed on the furniture and they are really good about staying away from food. I can easily mop the floor. Dog hair vacuums up. They have never destroyed anything. But, that’s my house. I have five adult kids. Two are married. I have two grandkids. Controlled chaos has always been my life. It doesn’t really phase me. If you don’t want animals in your house, you have every right to say so.

My mother loves dogs, but not in her house. Everyone understands that and no one takes offense. Your house, your rules.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a garage you could gate them in? Our a fenced in yard? I would not let them in the house if you aren’t dog people, you’ll be dealing with dog hair/dander long after their gone (I say this as a dog lover/owner who would never bring my dog to a dog-free house but frequent my in-laws backyard with our dogs, even if we’re eating inside).

[Anonymous]

Do you have a fenced yard? It would help. It is unlikely that people that attached to their dogs will leave them outside the whole time though. Maybe you could get a baby gate and gate off part of the house?

Otherwise, your options are to host a huge nutty 20-person Thanksgiving with multiple waves of houseguests (do you seriously want this??) with a bunch of dogs, or to ban the dogs and have a small sedate celebration with fewer people and no dogs.

[Anonymous]

Get on Nextdoor and see if anyone has large crates you can borrow. The dogs are free to come out to go on walks but not free to roam around and get into food or get your (company clean as my mom would say) house dirty.

This coming from a poster who's dog is the size of a horse. I love my dog but I do NOT bring my dog to other people's homes and don't want other dogs in my home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell them they need to be leashed and kept an eye one,no running free for all through the house. This happened to me where the dog jumped up and peed on an upholstered chair, the owner thought it was funny.

You can try this, but you will end up enforcing it and they will think you are a B.

No way out of this, no dogs.

Dog owner - that won't work.

Just say no dogs and deal with them not coming, or allow the dogs and lighten up. There's really no other way. You could find them places that'll do boarding for the day - a doggie daycare that's open on Thanksgiving - but just accept that you are making your choice and so are they.

[Anonymous]

The person who is directly related to the people with the dogs should call them and say no dogs. They will be upset and might not come. The other people might be angry on their behalf and might not come. You have to accept that, or accept the dogs. Don’t try to institute a visit with boundaries. If the dogs and their owners aren’t used to the boundaries, they will not be followed and everyone will be even more upset.

Make your decision and communicate it ASAP so if the dog owners choose not to come they can make other plans.

[Anonymous]

I am a huge dog person. I would never bring my dog to someone’s house if they didn’t want my dog there. You say no dogs. Easy. There’s so many people coming! It’s going to be chaos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a garage you could gate them in? Our a fenced in yard? I would not let them in the house if you aren’t dog people, you’ll be dealing with dog hair/dander long after their gone (I say this as a dog lover/owner who would never bring my dog to a dog-free house but frequent my in-laws backyard with our dogs, even if we’re eating inside).

Your hard boundary needs to be No dogs inside the house. The dogs can stay in the yard or the garage. That’s the most I would be willing to bend on this.

[Anonymous]

No dogs indoors. That's completely reasonable. You can allow them outside or in the garage, but I wouldn't let them in the house. Presumably you've seen how these dogs behave at previous events, and they don't sound well behaved (sticking their faces in people's food, jumping on furniture) and their owners don't seem to care enough to keep them in check.

It is not reasonable to expect to bring your dog everywhere you go, regardless of the hosts' wishes. The only compromise I'd accept is that the dogs be crated the entire time they are in my house, period, or else they stay outdoors.