cheerleaders excessive bullying
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Anonymous
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My daughter(15) is on the varsity cheerleading team at her high school. There are 12 seniors on her squad and only 4 lower class girls. My daughter does not fit the typical cheerleader stereotype. She does not enjoy going to parities, is not into drama/boys and is not very fashionable(jeans, tshirt kind of girl)
The senior girls on the squad are bullying her to the point my daughter no longer smiles. They drop her on purpose from stunts to see if she will cry. They force her to say swear words since she doesn't like to cuss, they tell her they lost a competition because of her ugly face, they tell her since her boyfriend doesn't have sex with her he doesn't love her. The list is endless. She says the younger girls on the squad do not join in on the bullying but are to afraid to say anything . I spoke with the coach and she said that my daughter is too sensitive and is very shy. She said that if my daughter would stop crying, they wouldn't pick on her. She told me how she likes for the girls to work things out themselves and she always stops it if she thinks it's gone too far. From my perceptive the coach likes to be buddy buddy with these older girls and they basically run the show. My daughter says she won't quit because then she won't get a scholarship. She wants to cheer in college and is actually very good. She says if I go to the principal, it will make it much worse and that they already were saying mean things from my conversation with the coach. I am at a loss. My husband and I feel helpless seeing her come home from practice and go straight to her room to cry. I just want her to quit and be done with it. |
Anonymous
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I don't see how you can let this continue. This is textbook bullying.
Send an email to the coach repeating verbatim your second paragraph. Wait for a response. If the response is insufficient, forward the email to the principal. |
Anonymous
| You should go to the principal. And I would get the hell off the cheerleading squad. No one should have to put up with this. |
Anonymous
| Is your DD a flyer? If they drop her wrong she's going to break her pelvis or something and won't be able to cheer in college. She needs to fight back. |
Anonymous
| Um wtf????? Do not ever let her cheerless again with these girls. What school is this?! Go immediately to the principal |
Anonymous
| I get it, its hard when your kid begs you not to intervene. But this needs to stop. That coach has no business coaching if she allows this to continue. |
Anonymous
| She can still cheer next year after the seniors leave. If she was good enough to make it this year, for sure she will make the team next year. If you want to keep things smooth with the (awful) coach, just say you're taking a break for academics. |
Anonymous
| Check out the local all star program. I'm not a cheer parent so I'm not super familiar, but was a college cheerleader. I'm not sure any of the high schools around here are good enough for her to get a big scholarship- my scholarship for cheer was like $2,000/ semester at a private school. Helpful, but not worth the bullying. I tried out the summer before my freshman year and got on the team. She just needs to stay active with tumbling or an all star team and she will be fine. |
Anonymous
Good advice. No need to be miserable if there's another way. |
Anonymous
This. There is no way I would let my daughter return. I don't care if the cost of a scholarship, her happiness and sound mind is priority. I would make sure my daughter knew this. I would also not let her return due to what a previous posted stated that the bullies could intentionally hurt your daughter. Then what? How much is her health to you? A chance at a scholarship? No way. It's sounds like she is an amazing girl who confides in you quite a bit. Be proud. I hope my daughter has an open relationship with me in high school. Again, you have an amazing good girl. Protect her and help her. Make sure she has your back and no amount of money is to be compromised to deal with bullies. I would work three jobs if I had to to get my daughter out of there. |
Anonymous
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The coach is employed by the school district. Stand up for your child. Also, do college scholarships exist?
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Anonymous
| Do college scholarships exist for cheerleaders? |
Anonymous
| Whether it is a public school or private school, surely they have a stated bullying policy. The coach doesn't get to ignore it bc she thinks your child is too sensitive, or for any other reason. Even if your DD leaves the team I would push on this with the principal. |
Anonymous
| You have to go to the principal. This coach needs to be fired. If you can, document your interactions with the coach. See if she will put her bullying enabling in writing. I am a teacher and this is 100% not acceptable. She is encouraging the bullying and blaming the victim. She should not get away with this. Your daughter is actively in danger and she needs help. |
Anonymous
Agree. It happens because adults allow it to happen without consequence. |