cheerleaders excessive bullying
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Anonymous
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I would send an email to the coach re-expressing your concerns and capturing her understanding and copy the principal. Something like this:
As I mentioned to you when we spoke on ___The senior girls on the squad are bullying her to the point my daughter no longer smiles. They drop her on purpose from stunts to see if she will cry. They force her to say swear words since she doesn't like to cuss, they tell her they lost a competition because of her ugly face, they tell her since her boyfriend doesn't have sex with her he doesn't love her. The list is endless. She says the younger girls on the squad do not join in on the bullying but are to afraid to say anything. I know that you said that you like to let the girls work things out on their own, but I am concerned that my daughter could be physically hurt and I don't believe she should have to endure the bullying I have described. You indicated that you would "stop the bullying if you thought it had gone too far." In my view, it has already gone to far. Can we please schedule a meeting to come up with a strategy to put an end to it. I look forward to discussing this further at your earliest convenience. |
Anonymous
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I love a graphic I've read. Unable to link it now.
Rude = unintentionally hurting someone, once Mean = intentionally hurting someone, once Bullying = hurting someone multiple times even when they have asked you to stop or shown pain Can't the coach at least agree to the fact that the other girls are rude and mean? Get her to agree to that at least. That way if it happens again and again, you can easily point out that's it's gone to the next level. I would sit with my daughter and help her document what has already happened. Attach it to the above statements, and bring to the principal (coach present at meeting too). I'm so sorry if it means taking her out. Hopefully it doesn't. But I'd let my DD know her safety is more important. You'll help her reach her goals in other ways. |
Anonymous
This exactly. I've been both a cheerleader and a coach and the bullying you describe is completely unacceptable. She could get seriously injured and lose any shot at a scholarship if she were to tear a ligament requiring surgery and rehab and limiting mobility. And that's best case scenario injury. Pull her from the team and get her into gymnastics and a legit all star team. |
Anonymous
Yeah, OP. I would be seriously worried about your daughter's safety. Listen, I cheered in high school and it can be very, very dangerous. In terms of sports, it has the highest amount of serious injury. If your daughter is being dropped or they are screwing up stunts to screw with her, it's way more than just bullying. She could definitely end up in a serious, serious situation medically. I recommend you find a local All-Stars and pull her from the squad. I'd also give the coach hell in an email about the risks of injury, lack of trust, etc. she is fostering and I would 'cc the principal because this is not just a bullying issue -- it's a physical safety issue. |
Anonymous
| I am sorry this is happening. You need to pull your DD out, it sounds like she is a flier and this is no joke, if they are dropping her, she could get seriously injured. Quick question, which colleges offer cheerleading scholarships? And I don't mean a one time $500. Thanks. |
Anonymous
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I can't believe the Coach, or should I say "coach" is fine with them dropping her on purpose!
I agree with what another PP said, one fall the wrong way and that scholarship she's working towards is gone. Some of the worst sports injuries I've ever seen were when I was hanging out at the gym during my daughter's cheer practices. Dislocated pelvis, broken tailbone, broken femur in two places... *shudder* I was so happy when my DD switched back to just gymnastics. I'm much calmer watching her fling her own body through the air than sitting and praying that a bunch of teens her own size manage to catch her properly. Go to the Principal. You gave the coach a chance and she failed at life. And it sounds like those girls are jealous at the talent your DD has, if you ask me. |
Anonymous
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I'm a former school counselor and a cheer mom. I completely agree with what PP's have said. Document. Document. Document. Email the school counselor and copy the coach, principal and superintendent. This kind of thing makes me so angry. Also document what you've said to school officials and what their responses have been. Fill out an official bullying report in addition to everything else.
I totally understand DD not wanting you to intervene but her health and safety are FAR more important. My daughter cheers for Dynamite Allstars in Gaithersburg and we have a half year team starting for older girls who have been on their HS cheer teams. Best of luck to both of you. This cannot stand. Your daughter is too important and ithe injuries can be potentially catastrophic. |
Anonymous
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Get the coach fired. Write down every drop, every rude comment, every forced swearing that happened with each date and time, and describe the coach's attitude. Go to the principal and ask that the affair be investigated and that the coach be fired. Your daughter's long-term health is at risk and she should be taught how to respond to bullying. This is far more important than anything else. Consider also that you don't want these girls and this coach doing this for years to other people like your daughter. This is a no-brainer, by the way. |
Anonymous
| Your daughter does not know how to handle this. She is enduring which is not an appropriate response. She needs you to take action on her behalf. |
Anonymous
| Previous flyer. Dropping someone intentionally is a SERIOUS and dangerous issue. I would have zero trust in people that behave like that. Report it and document all inactivity from the coach. screw that scholarship, not worth being paralyzed. get that coach fired. |
Anonymous
Yes, especially at the big college sports universities. I went to UNC and knew women and men on cheer scholarships. And there are different kind of cheer squads, like regular stunt cheerleading (football games) and more dance team cheer (basketball). There were even scholarships for marching band. |
Anonymous
My first thought too! My kid is a competitive acrobat and there is no way a coach would allow unsafe behavior such as that. |
Anonymous
Luckily the problem will go away eventually. Do they cheer for basketball season? Anything after football? Who will pick the next squad, the one for next year? It's not that your daughter should put-up with this, but maybe focusing on the future will help. You say she does not enjoy going to parities, is not into drama/boys ... but you also say your daughter has a boyfriend ... She may not be such an outliner. I think anymore discussions between you and the coach should have your daughter present - - in part so your daughter can correct any misinformation. |
Anonymous
| These seniors need to be PUNISHED, and the coach as well. Don't just wait it out. Speak out and create a huge stink. Especially if your DD is shy - be the right kind of role model for her! |
Anonymous
| Completely unacceptable. If your daughter didn't cheer and was bullied by a group all the time would you let it go? Sounds like the coach is afraid of the older girls also. My guess is 2 or 3 of them are horrible and the rest go along. And to the posters that asked - yes there are cheerleading scholarships. Most cheer scholarships are for cheer competition only. Groups of cheerleaders that compete but do not cheer at athletic events. Most schools can only give athletic scholarships to to someone who is on a competitive team. OP, help your daughter before she gets a permanent injury and you can't prove it wasn't an accident. It will be 12 to one and the bullies will win. |