Being cut off by a sibling

[Anonymous]

I have been on the receiving end of being cut off by a sibling for a full year now. I have been having a really hard time with this and have been crying myself to sleep. My sibling, however, seems happier and more successful than ever. She has made no attempts to reach out make amends, nothing. She says she hates me and wants to get rid of me. She thinks I have emotionally abused her and taken advantage of her her whole life. She just doesn't care about me anymore. I'm so heart broken and my husband is so worried about me. He says I need to go to therapy and disengage from my sister forever.

[Anonymous]

You need to swallow your ego to examine whether there is any truth to what she said.

[Anonymous]

Do you think you could be overreacting to this situation? It seems to me like your reaction to this situation is over the top.

I agree with your husband, you need to see a therapist.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you the "my sister hates me" "my sister says I have emotionally abused her" and probably other threads poster?

If so, you really do need to take a deep breath, listen to your husband and do need to consider therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the "my sister hates me" "my sister says I have emotionally abused her" and probably other threads poster?

If so, you really do need to take a deep breath, listen to your husband and do need to consider therapy.

I was about to ask the same question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the "my sister hates me" "my sister says I have emotionally abused her" and probably other threads poster?

If so, you really do need to take a deep breath, listen to your husband and do need to consider therapy.

Yes. I feel like my sister "broke" me. I really can't deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the "my sister hates me" "my sister says I have emotionally abused her" and probably other threads poster?

If so, you really do need to take a deep breath, listen to your husband and do need to consider therapy.

Yes. I feel like my sister "broke" me. I really can't deal.

Said with concern and no snark: you really do need some counselling /professional help to get over this. Your session is not healthy and likely damaging your other relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the "my sister hates me" "my sister says I have emotionally abused her" and probably other threads poster?

If so, you really do need to take a deep breath, listen to your husband and do need to consider therapy.

Yes. I feel like my sister "broke" me. I really can't deal.

I would imagine that's how you made your sister feel until she got out from under your thumb. You really need some help. Seek therapy. Please. Posting here isn't working, because people keep telling you you brought this on yourself and you need to back off and let her live her life, but you continue with the same behaviors. The best possible outcome at this point, after the damage youve done (even if you feel it was done from a loving place, it's still damage), is to get professional help to change your behavior and hope eventually your sister will give you another chance. When/if she does, you absolutely cannot continue being so critical of her, or she'll cut you off again. You see what life is like without her. Can you see what you need to do to try to rebuild a relationship with her?

[Anonymous]

How many psychologist does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it has to want to change.

Psssssssst..... You're the lightbulb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the "my sister hates me" "my sister says I have emotionally abused her" and probably other threads poster?

If so, you really do need to take a deep breath, listen to your husband and do need to consider therapy.

Yes. I feel like my sister "broke" me. I really can't deal.

I would imagine that's how you made your sister feel until she got out from under your thumb. You really need some help. Seek therapy. Please. Posting here isn't working, because people keep telling you you brought this on yourself and you need to back off and let her live her life, but you continue with the same behaviors. The best possible outcome at this point, after the damage youve done (even if you feel it was done from a loving place, it's still damage), is to get professional help to change your behavior and hope eventually your sister will give you another chance. When/if she does, you absolutely cannot continue being so critical of her, or she'll cut you off again. You see what life is like without her. Can you see what you need to do to try to rebuild a relationship with her?

This is the perfect response. OP, why do you keep coming here?

[Anonymous]

For years I tried to keep up a relationship with the needy sibling. She always wanted more from me. More visits, more money, more from our parents. I finally realized that no matter how much I gave, it would never be enough. I haven't really cut her off, I just stopped calling. If she calls me, I talk to her for a little bit until she starts to whine, then I find there's something else that demands my attention.

[Anonymous]

OP this is about you, not your sister.

Even by saying your sister "broke" you, there is implicit blame that she did something to you. Your sister cut you off, but she didn't *DO* this to you.

See a therapist. Not for fixing your relationship with your sister, but to fix yourself and figure out what is going on with you that hurt your sister, and is now hurting yourself since you cannot take it out on her anymore.

Work on fixing yourself. Please.

[Anonymous]

I haven't spoken to any of my siblings in 20 years. My sister and I were tight. Best friend for life tight. She hated my husband so we never again spoke.

Quit whining and move on. Your husband is now your best friend. And if you don't let it go, he will leave you too.

[Anonymous]

Op, I'm sorry. But your sister has other priorities in her life right now and she has decided to put her relationship with you on the back burner. The w-a-y back burner.

Maybe she thinks that you're too much work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For years I tried to keep up a relationship with the needy sibling. She always wanted more from me. More visits, more money, more from our parents. I finally realized that no matter how much I gave, it would never be enough. I haven't really cut her off, I just stopped calling. If she calls me, I talk to her for a little bit until she starts to whine, then I find there's something else that demands my attention.

That can work for a while, but once she figures out what's going on, she may just stop calling you. Will you be okay with that?

My friend's sister did pretty much the same thing- never called and when certain subjects came up, she'd suddenly have to get off the phone. It took a little while, but my friend figured out what she was doing and saw it as controlling on the sister's part and decided she didn't want to be treated that way. She then stopped calling her sister. The sister wasn't happy about it, but my friend just wants to stay uninvolved with the sister for a while. She says she actually feels better not having to walk on eggshells around her sister and figures it might be good to have a little space between them for a time.