Vegetarians who act like " victims "

[Anonymous]

With thanksgiving approaching - this reminds me. I have a relative, she's a single middle aged woman, and she always makes a big production out of coming for thanksgiving. I hate the way she feels entitled and had to make constant comments about how she doesn't eat meat. I don't think of thanksgiving as a carnivores holiday. Please. There are lots of options. Last holiday she asked my sister in law to prepare a fish dish. Sister in law refused and a fight ensued.
Relative feels SiL is not being a good host and should make a special dish. I say - there's plenty else to eat and if it's a real issue bring a small dish of your own or eat beforehand. Fact of the matter is - I actually don't enjoy turkey and usually end up eating lots of salad and veggies and the cheeses and breads. It's not like anyone is going to starve at a thanksgiving meal.
This same relative refused to join us for a family dinner because we chose Capital Grille. She made a big fuss out of how "I can't go to a place like that - I don't eat meat!!" Meanwhile they have plenty of fish on the menu - which she does eat! Yet she had no problem coming along when we had dinner at Four Seasons last year and that restaurant is similar to Capital Grille.
Anyone else feel that vegetarians just like to call attention to themselves and be difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With thanksgiving approaching - this reminds me. I have a relative, she's a single middle aged woman, and she always makes a big production out of coming for thanksgiving. I hate the way she feels entitled and had to make constant comments about how she doesn't eat meat. I don't think of thanksgiving as a carnivores holiday. Please. There are lots of options. Last holiday she asked my sister in law to prepare a fish dish. Sister in law refused and a fight ensued.
Relative feels SiL is not being a good host and should make a special dish. I say - there's plenty else to eat and if it's a real issue bring a small dish of your own or eat beforehand. Fact of the matter is - I actually don't enjoy turkey and usually end up eating lots of salad and veggies and the cheeses and breads. It's not like anyone is going to starve at a thanksgiving meal.
This same relative refused to join us for a family dinner because we chose Capital Grille. She made a big fuss out of how "I can't go to a place like that - I don't eat meat!!" Meanwhile they have plenty of fish on the menu - which she does eat! Yet she had no problem coming along when we had dinner at Four Seasons last year and that restaurant is similar to Capital Grille.
Anyone else feel that vegetarians just like to call attention to themselves and be difficult.

What a troll post! Seriously, you're going to generalize all vegetarians because of this difficult relative?!

[Anonymous]

OP again. I guess what I'm saying is being a vegetarian (at least in this person case) is a choice. It's not like she's handicapped. But I feel like she expect to be treated extra special when she's invited to other people's homes. Accommodated as if she had a handicap.

[Anonymous]

I think her issue is not that she's a vegetarian, but that she's a jerk. She'd probably be a jerk about something else, if not about this.

I know plenty of nice and easygoing vegetarians, and a few jerky ones. But the jerky ones are like that about other things, too.

Annoying, though. I can see why you don't enjoy her company.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Yes I guess this is a vent. Not trying to label all vegetarians. Just wonder if anyone else knows someone with similar behavior to this.

[Anonymous]

Not really, but it can feel annoying if close family and friends constantly make meal decisions which ignore the needs of another family member/friend. Lots of restaurants have very limited vegetarian options (your relative is a bit different as she's a pescatarian and has more options) and I think it's important to factor in everyone's preferences when hosting a meal/selecting a restaurant. I get that there are other non-meat parts of a thanksgiving dinner but the main part of the main course is meat. If I had a vegetarian coming I'd make a protein veg main meal for them. I'd do the same if a family member had an allergy or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Well first off she's not a vegetarian if she eats fish. So do I think your relative calls attention to themselves and is difficult? Yes I do.

[Anonymous]

My GF is an easy going pescatarian (fish + non-meat products only). She would NEVER ask a Thanksgiving host to make a fish. If she wants anything more substantial than side items, she will bring it herself and ask the host to heat it up (usually a pre-marinated salmon filet that can be cooked in a tin-foil wrap).

This person is a Grade A jerk. That said, my GF is not evangelical/holier-than-thou regarding her vegetarianism. A lot of vegetarians do fall into that category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I guess what I'm saying is being a vegetarian (at least in this person case) is a choice. It's not like she's handicapped. But I feel like she expect to be treated extra special when she's invited to other people's homes. Accommodated as if she had a handicap.

I agree with you that there are vegetarians who act like this and that those people are irritating. However, let me share another side. I was raised vegetarian. I'm 35 and I grew up in the Midwest, so being vegetarian was not the every day occurrence that it is here and now. Do you know how much meat was/is in everything? Weddings had the meat option and the chicken option when I was growing up. At Thanksgiving, I could eat the mashed potatoes, but not the gravy, because it was made with turkey. Salads often had ham in them, or bacon on top of them, or had chicken on top of them. School lunches never, ever had a vegetarian option. Even now, lunches at my office that are catered are always "sandwiches" and that usually means that there's a turkey sandwich, a tuna salad sandwich, a roast beef sandwich, and then if I'm really lucky, there's some kind of a roasted vegetable sandwich. Meat is a staple, and it's kind of a hassle to avoid. I know adults who don't even consider a meal without meat to be "a real meal." An adult who makes this choice on their own has a certain amount of agency over their diet decisions. A child brought up in a vegetarian household has a lot less agency. I was the kid who spent her childhood eating only the fries from school lunch, or who was constantly picking pepperoni off her pizza, or who was politely saying, "No thank you, I ate before I came" whether that was true or not because at faculty BBQs at my dad's small Midwestern school, the food options were hamburgers or hotdogs and the potato salad had bacon or ham in it and if I just ate chips and pickles, I would have to talk about why I was just eating chips and pickles.

I've been to Capital Grille plenty of times as an adult vegetarian and have never had a problem finding something to eat. Their mashed potatoes are awesome. They have plenty of salad. If she eats fish (which frankly makes her NOT a vegetarian as far as I'm concerned), they have fish options. I think your relative is being very self-centered and do not disagree that this is a problem she's bringing on herself. But I also think that until you are a person who doesn't eat a particular thing, you may not really realize how difficult it is to avoid that thing.

[Anonymous]

14:38 here. For what it's worth, I love TG because it's a holiday where there are actually a lot of vegetarian sides. My extended family went out of their way to make turkey-free dressing, but a lot of the stuff that's served is automatically vegetarian or easy to adapt on your plate.

[doodlebug]

I think her biggest mistake is calling herself a vegetarian when she eats fish. Um, fish is meat. If she eats fish and no other types of meat then she's a pescatarian, not a vegetarian. That's my pet peeve about anyone who's a tarian of any type.

[Anonymous]

doodlebug wrote:I think her biggest mistake is calling herself a vegetarian when she eats fish. Um, fish is meat. If she eats fish and no other types of meat then she's a pescatarian, not a vegetarian. That's my pet peeve about anyone who's a tarian of any type.

Amen!

[Anonymous]

We have one of those in my family OP. She screams I DON'T EAT MEAT for attention. Thing is, it's a lie. I caught her eating beef jerky once and fried chicken another time.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like an annoying asshole. Her being a vegetarian is not the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I guess what I'm saying is being a vegetarian (at least in this person case) is a choice. It's not like she's handicapped. But I feel like she expect to be treated extra special when she's invited to other people's homes. Accommodated as if she had a handicap.

I agree with you that there are vegetarians who act like this and that those people are irritating. However, let me share another side. I was raised vegetarian. I'm 35 and I grew up in the Midwest, so being vegetarian was not the every day occurrence that it is here and now. Do you know how much meat was/is in everything? Weddings had the meat option and the chicken option when I was growing up. At Thanksgiving, I could eat the mashed potatoes, but not the gravy, because it was made with turkey. Salads often had ham in them, or bacon on top of them, or had chicken on top of them. School lunches never, ever had a vegetarian option. Even now, lunches at my office that are catered are always "sandwiches" and that usually means that there's a turkey sandwich, a tuna salad sandwich, a roast beef sandwich, and then if I'm really lucky, there's some kind of a roasted vegetable sandwich. Meat is a staple, and it's kind of a hassle to avoid. I know adults who don't even consider a meal without meat to be "a real meal." An adult who makes this choice on their own has a certain amount of agency over their diet decisions. A child brought up in a vegetarian household has a lot less agency. I was the kid who spent her childhood eating only the fries from school lunch, or who was constantly picking pepperoni off her pizza, or who was politely saying, "No thank you, I ate before I came" whether that was true or not because at faculty BBQs at my dad's small Midwestern school, the food options were hamburgers or hotdogs and the potato salad had bacon or ham in it and if I just ate chips and pickles, I would have to talk about why I was just eating chips and pickles.

I've been to Capital Grille plenty of times as an adult vegetarian and have never had a problem finding something to eat. Their mashed potatoes are awesome. They have plenty of salad. If she eats fish (which frankly makes her NOT a vegetarian as far as I'm concerned), they have fish options. I think your relative is being very self-centered and do not disagree that this is a problem she's bringing on herself. But I also think that until you are a person who doesn't eat a particular thing, you may not really realize how difficult it is to avoid that thing.

I think you're sort of proving the OP's point a bit. My take on it is, go for it vegetarians. However, no one cares if you don't meat and no one cares to hear you complain about how difficult it is to avoid meat. Much like I'm sure you don't care what I'm eating.

I do agree, however, that people who eat fish and call themselves vegetarians (and I know a few) are annoying. You're not a damn vegetarian. Shut up and order the fish.