Vegetarians who act like " victims "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I guess what I'm saying is being a vegetarian (at least in this person case) is a choice. It's not like she's handicapped. But I feel like she expect to be treated extra special when she's invited to other people's homes. Accommodated as if she had a handicap.

I agree with you that there are vegetarians who act like this and that those people are irritating. However, let me share another side. I was raised vegetarian. I'm 35 and I grew up in the Midwest, so being vegetarian was not the every day occurrence that it is here and now. Do you know how much meat was/is in everything? Weddings had the meat option and the chicken option when I was growing up. At Thanksgiving, I could eat the mashed potatoes, but not the gravy, because it was made with turkey. Salads often had ham in them, or bacon on top of them, or had chicken on top of them. School lunches never, ever had a vegetarian option. Even now, lunches at my office that are catered are always "sandwiches" and that usually means that there's a turkey sandwich, a tuna salad sandwich, a roast beef sandwich, and then if I'm really lucky, there's some kind of a roasted vegetable sandwich. Meat is a staple, and it's kind of a hassle to avoid. I know adults who don't even consider a meal without meat to be "a real meal." An adult who makes this choice on their own has a certain amount of agency over their diet decisions. A child brought up in a vegetarian household has a lot less agency. I was the kid who spent her childhood eating only the fries from school lunch, or who was constantly picking pepperoni off her pizza, or who was politely saying, "No thank you, I ate before I came" whether that was true or not because at faculty BBQs at my dad's small Midwestern school, the food options were hamburgers or hotdogs and the potato salad had bacon or ham in it and if I just ate chips and pickles, I would have to talk about why I was just eating chips and pickles.

I've been to Capital Grille plenty of times as an adult vegetarian and have never had a problem finding something to eat. Their mashed potatoes are awesome. They have plenty of salad. If she eats fish (which frankly makes her NOT a vegetarian as far as I'm concerned), they have fish options. I think your relative is being very self-centered and do not disagree that this is a problem she's bringing on herself. But I also think that until you are a person who doesn't eat a particular thing, you may not really realize how difficult it is to avoid that thing.

I think you're sort of proving the OP's point a bit. My take on it is, go for it vegetarians. However, no one cares if you don't meat and no one cares to hear you complain about how difficult it is to avoid meat. Much like I'm sure you don't care what I'm eating.

I do agree, however, that people who eat fish and call themselves vegetarians (and I know a few) are annoying. You're not a damn vegetarian. Shut up and order the fish.

Wow, really? The PP's experience growing up vegetarian in the Midwest was obviously hard but nowadays in cities like DC, it's really not unusual to be vegetarian (or to have allergies, etc). I think it's weird of you to basically say "I don't care what you eat, just find something out of the entirely meat-centered foods I have made". Isn't part of being a host making sure that your guests have things they will eat?

[Anonymous]

Your relative sounds annoying. But maybe it's the single, middle aged woman part and not the vegetarian part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I guess what I'm saying is being a vegetarian (at least in this person case) is a choice. It's not like she's handicapped. But I feel like she expect to be treated extra special when she's invited to other people's homes. Accommodated as if she had a handicap.

I agree with you that there are vegetarians who act like this and that those people are irritating. However, let me share another side. I was raised vegetarian. I'm 35 and I grew up in the Midwest, so being vegetarian was not the every day occurrence that it is here and now. Do you know how much meat was/is in everything? Weddings had the meat option and the chicken option when I was growing up. At Thanksgiving, I could eat the mashed potatoes, but not the gravy, because it was made with turkey. Salads often had ham in them, or bacon on top of them, or had chicken on top of them. School lunches never, ever had a vegetarian option. Even now, lunches at my office that are catered are always "sandwiches" and that usually means that there's a turkey sandwich, a tuna salad sandwich, a roast beef sandwich, and then if I'm really lucky, there's some kind of a roasted vegetable sandwich. Meat is a staple, and it's kind of a hassle to avoid. I know adults who don't even consider a meal without meat to be "a real meal." An adult who makes this choice on their own has a certain amount of agency over their diet decisions. A child brought up in a vegetarian household has a lot less agency. I was the kid who spent her childhood eating only the fries from school lunch, or who was constantly picking pepperoni off her pizza, or who was politely saying, "No thank you, I ate before I came" whether that was true or not because at faculty BBQs at my dad's small Midwestern school, the food options were hamburgers or hotdogs and the potato salad had bacon or ham in it and if I just ate chips and pickles, I would have to talk about why I was just eating chips and pickles.

I've been to Capital Grille plenty of times as an adult vegetarian and have never had a problem finding something to eat. Their mashed potatoes are awesome. They have plenty of salad. If she eats fish (which frankly makes her NOT a vegetarian as far as I'm concerned), they have fish options. I think your relative is being very self-centered and do not disagree that this is a problem she's bringing on herself. But I also think that until you are a person who doesn't eat a particular thing, you may not really realize how difficult it is to avoid that thing.

I think you're sort of proving the OP's point a bit. My take on it is, go for it vegetarians. However, no one cares if you don't meat and no one cares to hear you complain about how difficult it is to avoid meat. Much like I'm sure you don't care what I'm eating.

I do agree, however, that people who eat fish and call themselves vegetarians (and I know a few) are annoying. You're not a damn vegetarian. Shut up and order the fish.

I never disagreed with OP's point. My point was really just that some of those asshole vegetarians (of which I'm not one - I swear!) have a point that EVERYTHING has meat in it. I understand getting frustrated with that, if only because it's 2:50pm and I had a bag of chips and a cookie for lunch at a surprise meeting that had turkey, tuna salad, and roast beef sandwiches. I've worked here for almost 5 years, so you'd think they'd know that I don't eat that stuff, but here we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I guess what I'm saying is being a vegetarian (at least in this person case) is a choice. It's not like she's handicapped. But I feel like she expect to be treated extra special when she's invited to other people's homes. Accommodated as if she had a handicap.

I agree with you that there are vegetarians who act like this and that those people are irritating. However, let me share another side. I was raised vegetarian. I'm 35 and I grew up in the Midwest, so being vegetarian was not the every day occurrence that it is here and now. Do you know how much meat was/is in everything? Weddings had the meat option and the chicken option when I was growing up. At Thanksgiving, I could eat the mashed potatoes, but not the gravy, because it was made with turkey. Salads often had ham in them, or bacon on top of them, or had chicken on top of them. School lunches never, ever had a vegetarian option. Even now, lunches at my office that are catered are always "sandwiches" and that usually means that there's a turkey sandwich, a tuna salad sandwich, a roast beef sandwich, and then if I'm really lucky, there's some kind of a roasted vegetable sandwich. Meat is a staple, and it's kind of a hassle to avoid. I know adults who don't even consider a meal without meat to be "a real meal." An adult who makes this choice on their own has a certain amount of agency over their diet decisions. A child brought up in a vegetarian household has a lot less agency. I was the kid who spent her childhood eating only the fries from school lunch, or who was constantly picking pepperoni off her pizza, or who was politely saying, "No thank you, I ate before I came" whether that was true or not because at faculty BBQs at my dad's small Midwestern school, the food options were hamburgers or hotdogs and the potato salad had bacon or ham in it and if I just ate chips and pickles, I would have to talk about why I was just eating chips and pickles.

I've been to Capital Grille plenty of times as an adult vegetarian and have never had a problem finding something to eat. Their mashed potatoes are awesome. They have plenty of salad. If she eats fish (which frankly makes her NOT a vegetarian as far as I'm concerned), they have fish options. I think your relative is being very self-centered and do not disagree that this is a problem she's bringing on herself. But I also think that until you are a person who doesn't eat a particular thing, you may not really realize how difficult it is to avoid that thing.

I think you're sort of proving the OP's point a bit. My take on it is, go for it vegetarians. However, no one cares if you don't meat and no one cares to hear you complain about how difficult it is to avoid meat. Much like I'm sure you don't care what I'm eating.

I do agree, however, that people who eat fish and call themselves vegetarians (and I know a few) are annoying. You're not a damn vegetarian. Shut up and order the fish.

I never disagreed with OP's point. My point was really just that some of those asshole vegetarians (of which I'm not one - I swear!) have a point that EVERYTHING has meat in it. I understand getting frustrated with that, if only because it's 2:50pm and I had a bag of chips and a cookie for lunch at a surprise meeting that had turkey, tuna salad, and roast beef sandwiches. I've worked here for almost 5 years, so you'd think they'd know that I don't eat that stuff, but here we are.

Totally agree - my office does the same thing and I think it's weird and annoying. When I lived in England this did not happen - sandwiches would be chicken, beef, tuna, and then egg, cheese, hummus. It's as though meat-eaters can ONLY eat meat.

[Anonymous]

The vegetarians I know are nicer and more accommodating on average than the meat-eaters. Your relative just sounds like an ahole.

[Anonymous]

I'm a vegetarian and I LOVE Thanksgiving!!! There is so much to eat, and so many good veggie options! Your relative should make and bring a vegetarian dish if she wants something in particular. Otherwise, suck it up and enjoy all the delicious sides and leave the ratty turkey to the others.

OP, I'm with you that your relative is annoying, but you were annoying in your original post where you bashed all vegetarians. I know you subsequently backed off that, but that wasn't cool.

[Anonymous]

16:38 here. I meant to add that there are a number of carnivores who feel deprived if you serve them a meal that doesn't have meat in it. So there are plenty of picky and annoying eaters to go around!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With thanksgiving approaching - this reminds me. I have a relative, she's a single middle aged woman, and she always makes a big production out of coming for thanksgiving. I hate the way she feels entitled and had to make constant comments about how she doesn't eat meat. I don't think of thanksgiving as a carnivores holiday. Please. There are lots of options. Last holiday she asked my sister in law to prepare a fish dish. Sister in law refused and a fight ensued.
Relative feels SiL is not being a good host and should make a special dish. I say - there's plenty else to eat and if it's a real issue bring a small dish of your own or eat beforehand. Fact of the matter is - I actually don't enjoy turkey and usually end up eating lots of salad and veggies and the cheeses and breads. It's not like anyone is going to starve at a thanksgiving meal.
This same relative refused to join us for a family dinner because we chose Capital Grille. She made a big fuss out of how "I can't go to a place like that - I don't eat meat!!" Meanwhile they have plenty of fish on the menu - which she does eat! Yet she had no problem coming along when we had dinner at Four Seasons last year and that restaurant is similar to Capital Grille.
Anyone else feel that vegetarians just like to call attention to themselves and be difficult.

Why don't you point out to her that vegetarians don't eat fish?

[Anonymous]

Don't generalize, you'll get pilloried, OP.

The vegetarian should bring her own protein dish.

[Anonymous]

I have an in law that comes to the family Thanksgiving but brings and entire buffet of tupperware with just enough for her family because her (teenage) kids won't eat anything except her special recipes. They made rude noises about their grandmother's cooking until I told them to stuff a sock in it. Talk about rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think her issue is not that she's a vegetarian, but that she's a jerk. She'd probably be a jerk about something else, if not about this.

I know plenty of nice and easygoing vegetarians, and a few jerky ones. But the jerky ones are like that about other things, too.

Annoying, though. I can see why you don't enjoy her company.

+1

I also know jerky carnivores.

Also, she is a pescatarian (a person who does not eat meat but eats fish.) not a vegetarian.

[Anonymous]

Pescatarian sounds like someone who only or mostly eats fish. I know that today the usage is that someone who eats no meat but who does eat meat is a pescatarian, but seriously, the quibbling over terms is annoying as vegetarians calling attention to themselves.

I mean people complain about all kinds of things (this is DCUM, right?) including the price of meat when it goes up, so why shouldn't someone complain about the difficulty of being vegetarian?

[Anonymous]

First off, people are people; they have rights - it's called human rights (maybe you've heard of that?);

Humans are entitled to eat what they like; if you only provide animal products, you are violating people's basic human right to a non-animal/cruelty free diet.

Second off, this discussion doesn't even get into the rights of non-human animals discovered so far, and the rights of non-human animals yet to be discovered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First off, people are people; they have rights - it's called human rights (maybe you've heard of that?);

Humans are entitled to eat what they like; if you only provide animal products, you are violating people's basic human right to a non-animal/cruelty free diet.

Second off, this discussion doesn't even get into the rights of non-human animals discovered so far, and the rights of non-human animals yet to be discovered.

If you think not a fish dish served at Thanksgiving is a human rights violation you've lived a charmed life.

[Anonymous]

My kids hate turkey and most veggies, so they eat stuffing and pie at thanksgiving. And I feed them ahead of time so they really aren't hungry. That's what a good guest does.