How to meet available guys?

[Anonymous]

Okay ladies, I am newly single after the death of a 20 year relationship. When I got married people didn't really use cell phones and the Internet was in its infancy. I have no idea how to go about meeting available (key word) guys my age (40's). I don't want to do the online dating thing- too many single friends have told me too many horror stories and, honestly, the thought of receiving a dick pic scares mzkes me shudder. No one wants to see that, guys! I work mostly from home but do have some limited interactions with random people in the community for work. But working remotely I don't even see my colleagues or teammates regularly (maybe quarterly). Most of my friends are coupled up and the single ones I know are all women who I am now in the same boat with. Where are all the guys hiding?

[Anonymous]

You can get sex at work. A date at the local watering hole. A mate on the internet.

Learned this here today.

[Anonymous]

Don't chat with guys online. Use the sites to set up (quick, inexpensive) dates and see if anything goes from there. Whether you're online or not, dating is kind of a horror show. A lot of the good ones at this age are taken, and many of the rest are looking for someone in their 30s or younger.

[Anonymous]

You could try volunteering. Most people that are willing to give their time away for free are decent people and that's a good start. Hopefully you'll find someone you're compatible with.

[Anonymous]

Friends are great and I would get into activities, exercise classes, cooking classes, groups that hike on the weekend. There are tons of great guys out there - they are not on the internet = although I do know a Match.com couple.

[Anonymous]

church.
library.
go on a hike - easy pickin's
Craigslist personals.
the mall.
kids school.
park.
on an airplane.
downtown.
at a bar.
walking down the street.
through a friend.
your exes sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't chat with guys online. Use the sites to set up (quick, inexpensive) dates and see if anything goes from there. Whether you're online or not, dating is kind of a horror show. A lot of the good ones at this age are taken, and many of the rest are looking for someone in their 30s or younger.

Yeah, I wouldn't count on meeting someone "naturally" at this point.

[Anonymous]

Get over it and use an online dating site. I did when I was in your position. I was super practical about it. You just have to understand that many guys you wouldn't consider will reach out to you--so what. Don't respond if you're not interested. Use common sense and be polite. Screen carefully. Take the initiative and reach out to men you see who interest you. Don't take rejection personally, you will reject others, too. Just part of it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. The idea of having to go through this at my age and having been out of the game for so long is terrifying. I appreciate the suggestions. When I'm ready to try my hand I'll update my progress here.

[Anonymous]

You honestly need to put yourself out there. I am your age and I resisted dating because I had a mental block despite knowing there are many suitors waiting on the sidelines. It is time to open up the floodgates and have fun.

PS - work and co-ed sports teams are a great way to meet available men. I didn't realize how many men found me sexy/hot until I flashed the green light.

[Anonymous]

What about asking friends to introduce you if they know someone that might be a good match? Trusted friends that know you well of course. I know a woman in her 40's who met her now husband this way. It's worth a shot I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about asking friends to introduce you if they know someone that might be a good match? Trusted friends that know you well of course. I know a woman in her 40's who met her now husband this way. It's worth a shot I guess.

Yes, good idea. I am realizing my network of available men consists of CEOs, lawyers, and professors. We are no longer young guns in our 20s.

[Anonymous]

I think a great idea would be to shop at a "Home Depot"-like store.

Every time I need to buy something at one of these home improvement stores, I always feel like a kid in a candy store.
Men all over!!

Or do your grocery shopping after 5PM.
Single guys all have to eat too & since they don't have a wife to get the goods, many tend to do it themselves.

Right after work.

[Anonymous]

I have a male friend who's in the EXACT same situation. Some how people like you two need to connect, just not sure what the easy answer is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a great idea would be to shop at a "Home Depot"-like store.

Every time I need to buy something at one of these home improvement stores, I always feel like a kid in a candy store.
Men all over!!

Or do your grocery shopping after 5PM.
Single guys all have to eat too & since they don't have a wife to get the goods, many tend to do it themselves.

Right after work.

Heh do you dress like a vixen when at home depot or giant or whole foods?