My mom died and owed her boyfriend money...he won't leave me alone now
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Anonymous
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My mother passed away about 9 months ago. She (unbeknownst to me) had allegedly borrowed money from her boyfriend.
About 20 minutes after her funeral, I got a call from this idiot on my mother's phone. He mentioned that he had some personal items and electronics that he left in my mother's home. I told him to make me a list and that we would get all of his stuff and make sure he recieved them. He then mentioned that he had loaned my mother money, though he never specified the amount. I told him that he'd have to get together with his attorney and make a claim against her estate, as it had gone into probate. My mother left no will and had very little money to her name...not even enough to cover her funeral. My sister and I covered it. If he had actual receipts and contracts proving it (and had my mother actually left any assets), we would have made sure that he recieved the money. I'm just not going to give this guy money out of my own pocket. He said that he'd rather just deal with me directly. I told him that I would never, ever do that and that he was welcome to address any concerns with his attorney. This ape will not leave me alone. At least 2-3 times per month I get a phone call bugging me about the money that he loaned her. I continuously tell him to leave me alone. I've blocked his number, but he just calls me from new numbers. He emails me too. I cannot change my phone number or email address, as they are associated with my business. I found out that he has begun calling my 90 year old grandmother, who is in agony over losing her child. I'm honestly about to lose my shit. What the hell do I do? Should I have an attorney pen and send out a cease and desist letter? |
Anonymous
| I would tell him you're going to file for a restraining order if he continues to harass you or your grandmother. Your mother's debts are not yours or her mother's. He is out of luck. |
Anonymous
| Don't threaten. Go file a restraining order. If your mother got money from him that was between them. You have no obligation to repay her debts. |
Anonymous
| Can I file a restraining order for something like this? |
Anonymous
| I'll bet he's lying. If she owed him money, he would have an exact number. Don't even try to be sympathetic. He's hoping you'll just throw some money at him if he's persistent enough. |
Anonymous
Absolutely. This is harassment. You have no idea what happened between him and your mother - and even if he is telling the truth, after your mother dies her debts are not yours or your grandmothers' to pay. Be sure to mention that you are concerned about continued harassment of your grandmother when you call the police. Seriously, call them today. Don't waste money with a lawyer. Call the police and get them involved - that is what they are there for. |
Anonymous
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I've "loaned" my GF of eight years close to 50 grand. I also realize , even though she claims she will pay up, there is no chance of recovering a dime.
He needs to suck it up and leave you alone. |
Anonymous
You would not be able to obtain a restraining order in VA, where it's known as a protective order. I don't know about other jurisdictions. |
Anonymous
| Probate the estate and to foreclose him as a creditor, he must be listed as such. You cant foreclose him, so discuss with your atty or probate office imho |
Anonymous
Not true. I was able to get a restraining against an old boyfriend in college. He never hit me but wouldn't leave me alone and wouldn't leave my apartment when I asked. It made me and my roommates uncomfortable. I called the cops. They filed a temporary restraining order. That was enough for the ex to get the message that I was serious about ending the relationship. Anyways, the point is: call your local police station. They will be to tell you what you can do and how they can help. They deal with stuff like this all the time. Call them before you start spending money on attorney's fees for "cease and desist" letters. Good luck |
Anonymous
| I would go in person to the local police office to file a report. Bring a picture of him if you have one and any pertinent information, e.g., address etc. |
Anonymous
Why do keep loaning her money? Now anything you give from here on out looks like a gift. |
Anonymous
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Tell him IN WRITING to leave you alone and never contact you again. Then call the police (non-emergency line) the next time you receive contact (phone, email, in person, etc.) from him. Get a police case number and go from there. This guy is borderline stalking you.
(from a stalking victim) |
Anonymous
| For all you know, he borrowed money from her and is helping himself to more of her possessions, like the electronics he mentions. |
Anonymous
| If he has nothing in writing then he has nothing. Advise him that you will be contacting the appropriate law enforcement if he persists. I'll bet that he was the one leeching off your mom while she was alive. |