My mom died and owed her boyfriend money...he won't leave me alone now

[Anonymous]

You could get a restraining order in DC. He's stalking you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he has nothing in writing then he has nothing. Advise him that you will be contacting the appropriate law enforcement if he persists. I'll bet that he was the one leeching off your mom while she was alive.

+1. He should be grieving. Instead he is trying to take advantage of your and your grandmother's grief. That makes me think he's a con artist or a mooch. Call the no emergency police and see what the proper procedures are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I file a restraining order for something like this?

Of course. It's continued, unwanted harassment. Although frankly I'll bet that doesn't stop this dolt from calling you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he has nothing in writing then he has nothing. Advise him that you will be contacting the appropriate law enforcement if he persists. I'll bet that he was the one leeching off your mom while she was alive.

Yes this, with one revision: Just tell him next time he calls you that you are ALREADY contacting law enforcement and starting to record his calls. If you can actually record them, do. Me, I'd tell him I was recording them even if I wasn't, just to get him off my back. And if he emails, I'd just thank him for providing further evidence of his harassment for something that is NOT your problem or your obligation.

And also tell him that contact with your grandmother is included in the legal actions you're taking, so if he keeps contacting her, it counts against him if you take him to court.

Lastly, I'd send him an email detailing all you've done to be clear with him that he should get a lawyer and deal with the estate, but he insists on harassing you and your grandmother and has not stopped calling. Good to have written proof of the history of convos and patience and attempts to be reasonable you have engaged in, and to be able to show he has it too.

I really would guess that after all that he'd leave you alone. But if he doesn't, use the protective order that you definitely should be filing for.

[Anonymous]

He's never told you an amount? How long were they a couple? Make sure your grandmother knows to NEVER give him money and to let you know every single time he contacts her. Sounds like your mother died without being "in the black" financially. Why the heck does this loser think you're just going to hand money over to him from your own pocket?

I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry you're going through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he has nothing in writing then he has nothing. Advise him that you will be contacting the appropriate law enforcement if he persists. I'll bet that he was the one leeching off your mom while she was alive.

Yes this, with one revision: Just tell him next time he calls you that you are ALREADY contacting law enforcement and starting to record his calls. If you can actually record them, do. Me, I'd tell him I was recording them even if I wasn't, just to get him off my back. And if he emails, I'd just thank him for providing further evidence of his harassment for something that is NOT your problem or your obligation.

And also tell him that contact with your grandmother is included in the legal actions you're taking, so if he keeps contacting her, it counts against him if you take him to court.

Lastly, I'd send him an email detailing all you've done to be clear with him that he should get a lawyer and deal with the estate, but he insists on harassing you and your grandmother and has not stopped calling. Good to have written proof of the history of convos and patience and attempts to be reasonable you have engaged in, and to be able to show he has it too.

I really would guess that after all that he'd leave you alone. But if he doesn't, use the protective order that you definitely should be filing for.

I think this is excellent advice.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

Jeez, is he a drug addict? Otherwise this is weird. Call the police.

[Anonymous]

He clearly has no basis for a claim, nor any legal knowledge so just BS him with big words. Tell him that you no longer have legal control because there is no financial estate but have mentioned his claim to the probate lawyer and that person is awaiting his documentation and claim materials. Tell him the probable lawyer will work with law enforcement to assess his receipts.

I think you definitely need to involve someone else if your grandmother is being harassed. You need to protect her and make sure she cannot ever pay him anything out of guilt or threat.

[Anonymous]

You don't owe him a thing, and I agree about getting law enforcement involved.

[Anonymous]

What a creep without any moral ground. Protect your grandmother, as people like that often prey on older folks....protective order is needed for both of you.

[Anonymous]

OP, as fracas recording calls, you may need his consent, depending which state you're in.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you save all correspondence. Sorry for your loss, and that you have to deal with this in top of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll bet he's lying. If she owed him money, he would have an exact number. Don't even try to be sympathetic. He's hoping you'll just throw some money at him if he's persistent enough.

Agree. Plus, can he prove it was a loan? Does he have an invoice or receipt or anything to prove he gave her money/paid for something?

Tell him your mom thought the money he gave her was a gift and un less he can prove it otherwise in which case contact a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

He called 20 min after the funeral? If he was her boyfriend wouldn't he be at the funeral? And he's not phased by her passing?

[Anonymous]

Did your mom jointly own anything with the boyfriend - car payment, rental lease, mortgage payment?

Did they live together and if so how long? It's not a common law marriage is it? Then the whole "loan" excuse is void.