My mom died and owed her boyfriend money...he won't leave me alone now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll bet he's lying. If she owed him money, he would have an exact number. Don't even try to be sympathetic. He's hoping you'll just throw some money at him if he's persistent enough.

Agree. Plus, can he prove it was a loan? Does he have an invoice or receipt or anything to prove he gave her money/paid for something?

Tell him your mom thought the money he gave her was a gift and un less he can prove it otherwise in which case contact a lawyer.

Nope, don't say that. First of all, you don't know if he even loaned her money, let alone under what terms.

Contact the probate attorney. Then contact your own attorney and find out the best way in your state to get a restraining order against him. Tell your grandmother not to answer the phone when he calls, or to hang up on him immediately. Document every phone call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as fracas recording calls, you may need his consent, depending which state you're in.

This is easy. Whenever he calls you start by stating, "This call is being recorded. Staying on the line is your acknowledged consent to have this conversation recorded." If he says he does not consent to having it recorded, hang up but keep the recording of that snippet.

Buy a cheap dollar store notebook and start a call log. Record every phone number and every time that he tries to call. You should have a record to establish the pattern/frequency of calls if/when you need a restraining/protective order. The more information you can record about his harassment, the better your case for getting a court order to stop him from harassing you.

Another way is to just get an airhorn can and every time he calls, after you hear his voice, blast the airhorn at the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I file a restraining order for something like this?

Absolutely. This is harassment.

You have no idea what happened between him and your mother - and even if he is telling the truth, after your mother dies her debts are not yours or your grandmothers' to pay. Be sure to mention that you are concerned about continued harassment of your grandmother when you call the police. Seriously, call them today. Don't waste money with a lawyer. Call the police and get them involved - that is what they are there for.

You would not be able to obtain a restraining order in VA, where it's known as a protective order. I don't know about other jurisdictions.

Not true. I was able to get a restraining against an old boyfriend in college. He never hit me but wouldn't leave me alone and wouldn't leave my apartment when I asked. It made me and my roommates uncomfortable. I called the cops. They filed a temporary restraining order. That was enough for the ex to get the message that I was serious about ending the relationship.


Good luck

Yours was a completely different situation. You are talking about a temporary order and you are talking about someone who was trespassing in your home.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a moocher who saw an opportunity. Have you ever met him before? If he was you would have met him. If he was telling the truth he would not have called 20 mins after the funeral and would have been there. If this was true he would have provided you a copy of a cancelled check or transfer slip with an amount on it. You could then confirm the money was deposited into her account and search for any repayments your mother made. Ir play his game and say your mother lent him money and you want to be paid back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a moocher who saw an opportunity. Have you ever met him before? If he was you would have met him. If he was telling the truth he would not have called 20 mins after the funeral and would have been there. If this was true he would have provided you a copy of a cancelled check or transfer slip with an amount on it. You could then confirm the money was deposited into her account and search for any repayments your mother made. Ir play his game and say your mother lent him money and you want to be paid back.

Just no. Don't think about any of this - just get him to go away and don't you dare give this louse any money.
Direct him to investigating legal options open to him (I'm sure there are none but direct him there) if you have to but do not engage him or investigate anything. Go on with your life. Give him no money!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't threaten. Go file a restraining order. If your mother got money from him that was between them. You have no obligation to repay her debts.

If he had enough documentation to go to Small Claims court, for example (a handwritten note, even evidence of a text and a bank withdrawal timed in step with the request), that would be sufficient for the Executor or Personal Representative to pay out. This assumes that there is enough in the Estate to cover the debt.

He would not deal with you, but would have followed your instructions because what you told him is exactly how the process is set up.

YOU owe him nothing. That's a fact.

Depending on your relationship with whoever's heading the Estate, I'd have them file for a stay away order. It will have more weight.

Be done with this idiot. Anyone experiencing a loss like this is bound to have intrusive thoughts and anxiety. Consider yours made manifest by this fool. He is the embodiment of grief. You don't have control over all of the emotional pieces of this experience, but you do have the power to shut this fool down.

Please get on that today. I sincerely pray for you and your family (that poor grandmother!!)