Husband downplaying medical problem - am i over reacting?

[Anonymous]

I am currently living with my husband in his country for the next 1.5 years. I do not speak the language. For work I freelance with US clients, and I am on his work health insurance.

I am currently having strange issues with my period where I am pretty much bleeding continuously. My hair has also been falling out. Apologies for the details, but it's important for the story.

I have been asking my husband for help as far as finding a doctor who takes our insurance and making an appointment for me since I do not speak the language in this country!!

He has been procrastinating and telling me that he does not think my symptoms are a big deal.

I feel so helpless and FURIOUS that he is not helping me in a situation where I am severely limited in my ability to solve the problem my myself.

If we were in the US, of course I would not be relying on him in any way for such a problem.

Am I overreacting? I am reconsidering whether he is someone I should have children with after this incident, which is the latest in a line of several similar incidents.

[Anonymous]

You're not overreacting. Unless he is an OB/GYN, he doesn't get to tell you this isn't a big enough issue to see a doctor for. He needs to make the appointment immediately.

[Anonymous]

Does he have any women family members in the country you can ask for help since he will not?

[Anonymous]

The US embassy website for your country should have a list of local doctors who speak English. In many places outside the US, doctor's visits to private doctors are super-cheap (like $50) without insurance anyway.

Heck, we were in Eastern Europe a few weeks ago and my DD sprained her ankle. Emergency room visit + x-ray cost about $60 in total for her as an uninsured.

[Anonymous]

You are NOT overreacting. If it is important to you (and ... yeah, it is) he needs to take it seriously unless you are a chronic overreacter.

I'm going to assume you are not.

Find yourself and interpreter, and a doctor.

[Anonymous]

Could potentially be a thyroid issue. You're not overreacting - helping you find a dr shouldnt be a big deal. Is there anyone else who could help, or function as a translator to help you find someone yourself?

[Anonymous]

Are you in a country where women generally are treated as second-class citizens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The US embassy website for your country should have a list of local doctors who speak English. In many places outside the US, doctor's visits to private doctors are super-cheap (like $50) without insurance anyway.

Heck, we were in Eastern Europe a few weeks ago and my DD sprained her ankle. Emergency room visit + x-ray cost about $60 in total for her as an uninsured.

Yea, we were in France for our honeymoon and dh got awfully sick, and the dr visit was $40. On a Sunday. And the dr was so excited to practice his English.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The US embassy website for your country should have a list of local doctors who speak English. In many places outside the US, doctor's visits to private doctors are super-cheap (like $50) without insurance anyway.

Heck, we were in Eastern Europe a few weeks ago and my DD sprained her ankle. Emergency room visit + x-ray cost about $60 in total for her as an uninsured.

Yea, we were in France for our honeymoon and dh got awfully sick, and the dr visit was $40. On a Sunday. And the dr was so excited to practice his English.

This is very good advice, thank you. I will do this now.

And to the other PP's who asked - no I am not a chronic over-reactor. I have always been quite healthy. I think the stress of living overseas is messing with my hormones.

My DH is currently oh so very burdened by assisting me in getting a visa so that we can be here in his country for his job that he doesn't feel like helping me with another issue. It's too much for him apparently even though I do all of the housework, grocery shopping, cooking, and laundry as well as work just as many hours as he does.

I'm very angry right now.

[Anonymous]

What country are you in? Lots of people on this forum have lived overseas and could recommend a doctor.

[Anonymous]

Are you in a country where women have to cover themselves or need a male.chaperone to see a male doctor and that sort of thing?

I would contact the embassy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The US embassy website for your country should have a list of local doctors who speak English. In many places outside the US, doctor's visits to private doctors are super-cheap (like $50) without insurance anyway.

Heck, we were in Eastern Europe a few weeks ago and my DD sprained her ankle. Emergency room visit + x-ray cost about $60 in total for her as an uninsured.

Yea, we were in France for our honeymoon and dh got awfully sick, and the dr visit was $40. On a Sunday. And the dr was so excited to practice his English.

This is very good advice, thank you. I will do this now.

And to the other PP's who asked - no I am not a chronic over-reactor. I have always been quite healthy. I think the stress of living overseas is messing with my hormones.

My DH is currently oh so very burdened by assisting me in getting a visa so that we can be here in his country for his job that he doesn't feel like helping me with another issue. It's too much for him apparently even though I do all of the housework, grocery shopping, cooking, and laundry as well as work just as many hours as he does.

I'm very angry right now.

I agree that you should re-think having kids with him. His behavior won't improve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you in a country where women have to cover themselves or need a male.chaperone to see a male doctor and that sort of thing?

I would contact the embassy.

No, fortunately not. It is a western European country. The people on the board having given me some good ideas about how I can find someone without his help without too much trouble.

[Anonymous]

Definitely do not have children with him. Why are you married to him at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you in a country where women have to cover themselves or need a male.chaperone to see a male doctor and that sort of thing?

I would contact the embassy.

No, fortunately not. It is a western European country. The people on the board having given me some good ideas about how I can find someone without his help without too much trouble.

Honeymoon traveller here. The owner of the B&B we stayed at helped us get a dr appt. If the embassy can't help you, a local hotel might be able to refer you to someone who they know speaks English.