Husband downplaying medical problem - am i over reacting?
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Anonymous
See my addition in bold above. |
Anonymous
| Unless your DH is a gynecologist, how can he downplay this kind of thing? How could he possibly know it's nothing? Isn't it the job of a DH/partner/family member to push you to see a doctor when you are downplaying this sort of thing, not vice versa?? |
Anonymous
| I would learn the language. |
Anonymous
Get your vagina fixed up, divorce him, and start over. My SIL married my brother when they were in their mid 30's. She had a baby at age 39. You can do better than this guy. |
Anonymous
| Op -- walk into a hospital. |
Anonymous
| Did you find a doctor today? This can be a serious issue causing this or just something very minor - but you need to know. Most Western European Drs speak English |
Anonymous
|
Even with the language barrier, electronic translators are so common, that this should not be an issue at all. Even if the translations aren't perfect (which they won't be), they'll be good enough for you to get the idea across and get the testing you need.
Good luck - I hope the health issue turns out to be nothing. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like thyroid. |
Anonymous
|
After you get medical care. Text or Skype your parents, sister, brother? And tell them you want to come home.
Get their help, get a plane ticket and get back to the USA. Then get rid of the husband. You'll feel a lot better. Ask family for help while getting a new job. And DO NOT have kids with this guy. |
Anonymous
Ok and two years later she can see a Dr on her own! Yay! Hopefully it wasn't serious! PS you are a tool |
Anonymous
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From this website: https://www.ricksteves.com/travel-tips/health/medical-care-in-europe
Finding Medical Help To locate a doctor, clinic, or hospital, ask around at places that are accustomed to dealing with Americans on the road — such as tourist offices and large hotels. Most embassies and consulates maintain lists of physicians and hospitals in major cities (on the US embassy’s site, select your location, and look under the U.S. Citizens Services section of that embassy’s website for medical services information). If you’re concerned about getting an English-speaking and Western-trained doctor, consider joining IAMAT, the International Association for Medical Assistance to Travelers. You’ll get a list of English-speaking doctors in more than 90 member countries who charge affordable, standardized fees for medical visits (membership is free but donation is requested, fee pricing on website, pay provider directly at time of visit, tel. 716/754-4883). |
Anonymous
|
Gee....He sounds kinda heartless if you ask me.
For a woman to have on-going periods along w/hair loss doesn't sound like the common cold to me. You need to see a M.D. soon, if you put this all off the results could be very detrimental to both of you. If he refuses to budge, see if the country has a U.S. Embassy or something similar to assist you in obtaining the care you need. P.S. Don't have children w/this guy. At least anytime soon. Good luck. I sincerely hope everything works in your favor OP! |
Anonymous
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OP, you might even post here in Health and Medicine:
"I am living in the town of X-heim in Germany (or wherever you are) -- can anyone recommend an English speaking doctor?" There are a huge number of people here either posting from Europe or who have lived there. |
Anonymous
| He's a jerk. Get treated then make an exit plan and get divorced. What country are you in? Isn't there a web forum for expats and Foreign Service people, DCUM? Can OP get connected to that and post an inquiry for a doctor where she is who speaks English? |
Anonymous
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OP here, thank you everyone for the very helpful advice about resources and ideas for finding medical help in Europe.
Because I flipped out yesterday, my DH made me an appointment for Thursday. The doctor doesn't speak much English and he agreed to come to the appointment to translate. When we lived in Germany (last year) my experience was that that doctors did speak English. We live in Italy now in a moderately remote city, and I am surprised to find that the receptionists I had been calling could not understand me and were not willing to accommodate. But if my DH did not finally agree to help me I would have used some of the ideas from the board, so thank you again for the suggestions. DH and I had a huge fight and I told him that I want to leave. I am still confused about whether I am overreacting. He claims that he was eventually going to help me, but from my point of view he only agreed to help me after I absolutely lost it. He did eventually apologize and said that if he could go back he would have helped me last week when I started asking for his help instead of dismissing me day after day all last week. I am going to get my health issue taken care of and continue to try increase my business revenue so that I can continue on with self-employment when/if I leave. Self-employment is a long-term dream of mine to "make work" and my income is almost up to what a salaried position would offer. I told him that our relationship is essentially on probation because I am very scared that he is not reliable to be there for me in times of need. He points out lots of times he WAS there for me, and it's true he is not a terrible monster but I feel like I have to fight to get him to be receptive to my needs. Again, there are various examples, but this most recent is the most egregious. I feel deep down that I shouldn't have to convince my husband that my request for help getting a doctor's appointment is serious enough to warrant his attention. I want to be with someone who respects me enough to just help if I ask for help. I do not think I am a dependent person in general, and god knows I help him with various things when he asks. In my world some measure of interdependence is part of the marriage deal. Anyway, kids are definitely not on the horizon in the short or medium term. |