Husband downplaying medical problem - am i over reacting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you in a country where women have to cover themselves or need a male.chaperone to see a male doctor and that sort of thing?

I would contact the embassy.

No, fortunately not. It is a western European country. The people on the board having given me some good ideas about how I can find someone without his help without too much trouble.

Western European? I'd be shocked if you can't find a practice that will speak english. Most employ a nurse or someone on staff who speaks English at least (many foreigners only speak english and their native language so it's a good go between language). Call and ask if they speak English when they answer the phone.

[Anonymous]

Call the concierge at a hotel. They can help you find a dr who speaks English.

[Anonymous]

The insurance company should have a way to help you find a Dr. I'm so sorry, but your H is being a complete jerk. I hope you get healthy soon! Do not have kids with this man unless he pulls his head out of his butt!!

[Anonymous]

While you're at the doctor get birth control pills. Take them religiously. Do not have children with a man who says that continuous bleeding is no big deal. He will not be a supportive partner in parenting.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend pantomime having crabs to a pharmacist in China. The story she shared was hilarious, but she got the medication she needed. I think a few creative drawings should get you the help you need (a calendar, an anatomy sketch). This is a great exercise in self-reliance and will serve you well (and make for a funny story to tell after your divorce.)

[Anonymous]

Are you in/near any big/mid sized cities? All of those cities are used to tourists and thus are used to people who don't speak the language. I second the idea of calling as many local hotels or B&Bs as you need to and asking if they maintain any kind of list or recommendations for doctors who speak English. They will likely ask if you're a guest -- for a larger hotel you could lie and say you just checked out -- but honestly in Europe you could probably also tell the truth that you're an English speaker who needs an English speaking dr. and you thought maybe they'd have someone bc they must get such a request from their guests. I just view Europe as less litigious so it's less likely you'll get people thinking -- litigation risk -- can't recommend a doc.

Of course the doc you get will be a PCP most likely and it sounds like you may need a GYN for what could be a hormonal issue but I'd imagine an English speaking PCP would get you on the path to the right meds or the right specialist.

[Anonymous]

I would dial the number and hand him the phone. He can be your translator not your doctor in this instance.

[Anonymous]

Also, it's highly likely that there's an American hospital or clinic in your country. Try googling. For example, there's a well-known American hospital in Paris. Also, search for British or Canadian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While you're at the doctor get birth control pills. Take them religiously. Do not have children with a man who says that continuous bleeding is no big deal. He will not be a supportive partner in parenting.

+1. You probably won't heed this advice, OP, but you really really should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While you're at the doctor get birth control pills. Take them religiously. Do not have children with a man who says that continuous bleeding is no big deal. He will not be a supportive partner in parenting.

+1. You probably won't heed this advice, OP, but you really really should.

Agree. I have as of yet to meet or hear from a woman that said "My husband was an unsupportive dickbag before we had kids but ever since Larla arrived, he's been such a great partner!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While you're at the doctor get birth control pills. Take them religiously. Do not have children with a man who says that continuous bleeding is no big deal. He will not be a supportive partner in parenting.

+1. You probably won't heed this advice, OP, but you really really should.

Agree. I have as of yet to meet or hear from a woman that said "My husband was an unsupportive dickbag before we had kids but ever since Larla arrived, he's been such a great partner!"

OP here. At this moment I'm feeling pretty much done. I'm 32. Bahhh. This sucks.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with others who say if you don't have kids, this is not the guy to do that with.

But, in the interest of solving your immediate daily living problems - you might consider going to a local university or high school and finding an English student who would be happy to help you run errands and teach you the lay of the land in exchange for modest hourly pay or the chance to practice English. You may even be able to barter English lessons or Engliah writing/editing for the help you need. Every expat can benefit from a "fixer" who can help you figure out the grocery, laundry, bank, driving license, public transport, doctor, dentist, hospital, and teach you basic daily language skills, etc.

[Anonymous]

If I was your DH, I'd be freaking out. I can't imagine not being concerned about something like this.

[Anonymous]

My husband would be furious at me if I put off seeing the doctor for anything like this and would be driving me there!

WTH.

First thing: yes, find a doctor who speaks english. Travel guides often have international doctors, some cities have American hospitals (well, Paris does anyway), call the embassy!

after that, consider whether you have indeed married a dickwad and if so, what to do about it.

[Anonymous]

1. Call doctors and ask if they speak English. Most do.
2. Go to a hospital
3. It's inconceivable that in Western Europe you can't get medical treatment.