Shooting in Reston

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15:44. The shooter was a neo Nazi. It's on his twitter and he mowed a swastika. His relationship to neo Nazism is very clear. You look stupider by the minute.

Did you look at what I quoted? No, you did not. I quoted the person who said, "I am much more concerned about the normalizing of NeoNazism (or just Nazism) in America." My comment pertained to that generalization, not to this specific case. You are the one who is stupid, and has failed reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have installed a home alarm with window/door alarms and kept the code to myself. Also would have taken the phone away. My kid can hate me - that’s fine.

You sound like someone who hasn’t parented a mentally ill child. One of the scariest times I’ve had was when my son left his phone and then disappeared for hours. We rely on the phone to track him. Tactics that typically work may not be effective with kids who suffer from mental illness.

You are right, I haven’t. But the alarm would have gone in the DAY I first found that kid hidden in my house. And if a kid can’t be trusted out of the house alone, then the kid needs to be babysat. Like a 5 yo.

[Anonymous]

Which private school did the shooter go to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have installed a home alarm with window/door alarms and kept the code to myself. Also would have taken the phone away. My kid can hate me - that’s fine.

You sound like someone who hasn’t parented a mentally ill child. One of the scariest times I’ve had was when my son left his phone and then disappeared for hours. We rely on the phone to track him. Tactics that typically work may not be effective with kids who suffer from mental illness.

You are right, I haven’t. But the alarm would have gone in the DAY I first found that kid hidden in my house. And if a kid can’t be trusted out of the house alone, then the kid needs to be babysat. Like a 5 yo.

Not to blow your bubble but I had the alarm codes to my house from the time I was 16 and took the bus home. Unless you have your kid in expensive after-school activities or lessons or you yourself are at home 24/7, they need the code in order to open their own front door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have installed a home alarm with window/door alarms and kept the code to myself. Also would have taken the phone away. My kid can hate me - that’s fine.

You sound like someone who hasn’t parented a mentally ill child. One of the scariest times I’ve had was when my son left his phone and then disappeared for hours. We rely on the phone to track him. Tactics that typically work may not be effective with kids who suffer from mental illness.

You are right, I haven’t. But the alarm would have gone in the DAY I first found that kid hidden in my house. And if a kid can’t be trusted out of the house alone, then the kid needs to be babysat. Like a 5 yo.

Not to blow your bubble but I had the alarm codes to my house from the time I was 16 and took the bus home. Unless you have your kid in expensive after-school activities or lessons or you yourself are at home 24/7, they need the code in order to open their own front door.

Mom of girl worked from home and I think mom of shooter may have too. Also, you were a kid who was high functioning. If your child has issues, you treat them like a younger child in terms of freedoms, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Emotionally stunted people -- which includes most teens -- have a hard time accepting rejection.

Here you have a teen who probably doesn't have many emotional connections other than the girlfriend. Girl's parents have good reason for wanting her to end it. She does. Boy is in distress and doesn't know how to deal with rejection. Probably plays to girl's emotions that he loves her/she understands him/he might do something to hurt himself. She lets him in to either calm him down or at least be a friend.... parents discover him.

He sees girl's parents as the cause of his anguish and because he is impulsive (and has been feeding himself violence for sometime), he reacts by taking out those who are (in his mind) inflicting the pain on him. He realizes the severity of his impulses in a matter of seconds and attempts to end his pain permanently.

These types of post-break-up shootings happen all over -- for teens in schools where they kill the ex girl friend and her new boyfriend, or with grown men and their ex-wives/girlfriends.

The Nazi stuff is relevant to the extent that (a) the parents precipitated the break up and (b) the shooter was primed for violence. But, ultimately, I think this will be a story of immature teen not dealing with rejection and loss.

I wonder if the school counselors in this area (who already have their hands full with issues to teach) ever deal with the emotional health issues of what to do when a relationship ends. We have all been there and at least for girls -- we cry and whine to our friends until they can't stand it anymore.... but the desperation we feel --- especially when young -- is very real. I'm not sure boys have as many outlets for their emotions other than drinking, drugs, or in a few cases, ... getting violent.

I'd say the danger of post-break-up violence has to be more urgent than terrorists coming into our schools. Kids need to learn how to manage these very big and threatening emotions that come from rejection.

Feeling very sad and heartbroken for the deceased parents, the surviving children/family in this scenario. Tragic.

Wow . . .immature teens dealing with rejection. That's very "privileged" thinking. Maybe his attorney should use it at his trial.

It doesn't excuse the shooter's actions. He's guilty as the day is long. But, it is very likely the reason that this went down. It has nothing to do with privilege. People of all social strata get frustrated and lash out when they feel they are losing the only thing they have going for them. (i.e. OJ? ). The boy didn't go to the house to shoot the parents, but they did (in his mind) cause him to lose his girlfriend. He couldn't handle that. Many kids/teens want to do harm when they are mad -- really mad-- at an adult. But, most do not have access to lethal weapons and therefore, have no immediate recourse for their anger... and then they simmer down.

Don't you remember being REALLY mad at your parents or someone when you were a tween or teen? It passed. You moved on.

This kid is 100% at fault. His parents may or may not be at fault. His school may or may not be at fault. We don't know what they knew. But, having a gun on him at the time of intense anger and hurt -- was the thing that allowed him to be more than just mad as hell -- it allowed him to be impulsive and destroy many lives. Teens + rejection + gun --- pure disaster.

Not just”teens” - *mentally ill* teens, particularly. Getting FCPS to shell out the cost of a private school plus transportation, is rare. The disability must be significant.

Have you read https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00267SS8G/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1?

Essentially, teens' brains are not wired like a full grown person's brain yet. In the author's words, they are quite literally "crazy" b/c their impulse control centers are not developed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have installed a home alarm with window/door alarms and kept the code to myself. Also would have taken the phone away. My kid can hate me - that’s fine.

You sound like someone who hasn’t parented a mentally ill child. One of the scariest times I’ve had was when my son left his phone and then disappeared for hours. We rely on the phone to track him. Tactics that typically work may not be effective with kids who suffer from mental illness.

You are right, I haven’t. But the alarm would have gone in the DAY I first found that kid hidden in my house. And if a kid can’t be trusted out of the house alone, then the kid needs to be babysat. Like a 5 yo.

Not to blow your bubble but I had the alarm codes to my house from the time I was 16 and took the bus home. Unless you have your kid in expensive after-school activities or lessons or you yourself are at home 24/7, they need the code in order to open their own front door.

Mom of girl worked from home and I think mom of shooter may have too. Also, you were a kid who was high functioning. If your child has issues, you treat them like a younger child in terms of freedoms, etc.

And you know this from your vast experience with kids with issues?

[Anonymous]

Most children with mental illness have a part of their brain that isn't developing. Therefore, yes it is recommended to treat them at times as if they were younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have installed a home alarm with window/door alarms and kept the code to myself. Also would have taken the phone away. My kid can hate me - that’s fine.

You sound like someone who hasn’t parented a mentally ill child. One of the scariest times I’ve had was when my son left his phone and then disappeared for hours. We rely on the phone to track him. Tactics that typically work may not be effective with kids who suffer from mental illness.

You are right, I haven’t. But the alarm would have gone in the DAY I first found that kid hidden in my house. And if a kid can’t be trusted out of the house alone, then the kid needs to be babysat. Like a 5 yo.

Not to blow your bubble but I had the alarm codes to my house from the time I was 16 and took the bus home. Unless you have your kid in expensive after-school activities or lessons or you yourself are at home 24/7, they need the code in order to open their own front door.

Mom of girl worked from home and I think mom of shooter may have too. Also, you were a kid who was high functioning. If your child has issues, you treat them like a younger child in terms of freedoms, etc.

And you know this from your vast experience with kids with issues?

DP. People who don’t live in the world of special needs have no idea how few resources are available and how difficult it is to control an adult size/strength teenager who doesn’t want to be controlled. Remember, you can pick up a five year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have installed a home alarm with window/door alarms and kept the code to myself. Also would have taken the phone away. My kid can hate me - that’s fine.

You sound like someone who hasn’t parented a mentally ill child. One of the scariest times I’ve had was when my son left his phone and then disappeared for hours. We rely on the phone to track him. Tactics that typically work may not be effective with kids who suffer from mental illness.

You are right, I haven’t. But the alarm would have gone in the DAY I first found that kid hidden in my house. And if a kid can’t be trusted out of the house alone, then the kid needs to be babysat. Like a 5 yo.

Not to blow your bubble but I had the alarm codes to my house from the time I was 16 and took the bus home. Unless you have your kid in expensive after-school activities or lessons or you yourself are at home 24/7, they need the code in order to open their own front door.

Mom of girl worked from home and I think mom of shooter may have too. Also, you were a kid who was high functioning. If your child has issues, you treat them like a younger child in terms of freedoms, etc.

And you know this from your vast experience with kids with issues?

DP. People who don’t live in the world of special needs have no idea how few resources are available and how difficult it is to control an adult size/strength teenager who doesn’t want to be controlled. Remember, you can pick up a five year old.

I do have experience with a SN tween. Is it really so hard to secure your gun and take away car keys. That would be a start? (Assuming he got gun from parents home and car was parked at their home).

[Anonymous]

Securing your guns and ammunition is literally the lowest bar I can imagine for parents of a violent, mentally ill, teen.

Seriously, what is a lower bar than that?

[Anonymous]

No one knows where the gun came from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have installed a home alarm with window/door alarms and kept the code to myself. Also would have taken the phone away. My kid can hate me - that’s fine.

I believe it was reported the Frickers were getting an alarm system for the windows but it hadn’t been installed yet. It was a Christmas present.

[Anonymous]

Uggh.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone read anything about the girl's biological father? I hope she still has a parent out there to help her through these difficult times.