Who is right? Son accidentally took item - disagreement results

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:... There is no 10 year old, and OP said her child left first, taking the wrong suit with him.

You're right. As I revisited this thread after a fresh night of sleep I realize I read that wrong. Both kids are 7(ish) but one is a size 10 and one a size 6.

But I stand by my argument that it's unreasonable to place all the blame on OP's kid for the mishap. Why didn't the other kid make certain he had his own swim trunks? The OP was unable/unwilling to drop everything to make a long, inconvenient drive that night. But she did offer several options, including driving it the next day.

As the mother needed the suit that night, then she was the one who needed to come and get them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can request an item be returned, but you have to be reasonable. It's not always possible for someone to return it immediately or at the exact date/time you specify. If someone accidentally took your sweater from the office, would it be ok to call and ask them to return it at 10pm because you really need it? Of course not.

I think it really comes down to this. Requesting the item be returned is fine. Demanding the time and place for a small item is making a mountain out of a mole hill. There is being in the right and there is being a gracious person. The requesting mom might be technically in the right in the sense that the other child made the mistake and that mistake should be righted. But, a gracious person would never ask for something onerous from another person when a small effort by herself could rectify the situation. Stopping at Target between DC and Jersey is not difficult and a nice person would have done this instead of calling in the first place.

+1 it's called having manners.

No wonder so many posting here don't get it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

Amen

+2

She actually doubly inconvenienced this other family because now they need to go out of their way on their vacation to find and buy their kid a new (second) and hopefully moderately priced swimsuit. Anyone who has had to make emergency purchases such as this, particularly in vacation spot, knows how disruptive and potentially costly it can be.

Taking an hour to buy a swimsuit is neither "disruptive" nor "costly." You sound disturbed.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't the other kid make certain he had his own swim trunks?

First of all, if all the swim trunks were lined up what were you expecting the size 10 kid to do? Stand over his trunks in case someone didn't know the difference? That is not realistic. I think the six 6 kid made a mistake but, we shouldn't blame the size 10 kid.

FYI if I was the mom without the suit I would have just bought another suit but expected the old one when I got back home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't the other kid make certain he had his own swim trunks?

First of all, if all the swim trunks were lined up what were you expecting the size 10 kid to do? Stand over his trunks in case someone didn't know the difference? That is not realistic. I think the six 6 kid made a mistake but, we shouldn't blame the size 10 kid.

FYI if I was the mom without the suit I would have just bought another suit but expected the old one when I got back home.

Can't believe this thread! But the "very special swimming suit" must have been for a picture or something. "The whole family wears red for Christmas!" and we are taking the Christmas pic this weekend! or something like that. There is no private school mom in the world that only has one, cheap Target suit. Either this is a troll /sociology post, or the other mom has lost her little tiny mind. My DS attends private school and yes, some parents live VERY far away.

[Anonymous]

Crazy Swimtrunk Mom & her family live at Point A. Her kid attends school quite a distance away, at Point B. There is a reason for this. Crazy Swimtrunk Parents have probably burned through all the goodwill in their own community and have moved on to greener pastures.

[Anonymous]

39 pages and still debating original post? Amazing.

[Anonymous]

For those who keep harping on how the Op "offered" to drop off the swim trunks, perhaps it's because she assumed the crazy mom lived close by. It sounds like the crazy family lives far away from school, which is something OP didn't expect when she first offered. Like in the PP's example, it's like you take home your co worker's salad bowl by accident after an office party. Turns out she needs it by tomorrow morning. You offer to drop it off, assuming she lives someplace in DC or close in burbs. When you ask for her address, she lives in Reston/Centerville/Leesburg. No I'm not going to drive almost 2 hours to return the bowl when it's reasonable that I just bring it back on Monday. Maybe I'll throw in a small gift (Starbucks, home made cookies) because it was my fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:39 pages and still debating original post? Amazing.

Wow! I chimed in on page 1 or 2 and thought it was a done deal. 40 pages- a DCUM classic in the making.

[Anonymous]

Mom of size 10 boy should have just dropped by Villebrequin.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound unhinged. You offered to drop the suit off and then went back on your word. Having a young child sleeping is such a lame excuse. You need to brush up on the basics of manners. Shameful person, indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound unhinged. You offered to drop the suit off and then went back on your word. Having a young child sleeping is such a lame excuse. You need to brush up on the basics of manners. Shameful person, indeed.

Please go yank your child out of bed late tonight to go for an unnecessary drive to an unknown place in the dark. Sleeping children are lame.

[Anonymous]

The only way this was a reasonable is if the item was truly critical, like medication or a medical device. A swimsuit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only way this was a reasonable is if the item was truly critical, like medication or a medical device. A swimsuit?

Agreed. In that case, I suspect that OP would have dragged her kids out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound unhinged. You offered to drop the suit off and then went back on your word. Having a young child sleeping is such a lame excuse. You need to brush up on the basics of manners. Shameful person, indeed.

Please go yank your child out of bed late tonight to go for an unnecessary drive to an unknown place in the dark. Sleeping children are lame.

But OP wouldn't have had to yank the child out of bed. She had friend and/or friend's husband around to drink wine with - she could have easily asked them to stay with the baby. OP is making hay of the most inconvenient to her reading of facts - DH aawy, sleeping child, 10 pm, etc. But she had other resources to rely on and didn't want to after she offered to make it right. Then she comes and mocks the other mom after getting the majority of support on this thread.