11 yr old boy-is there any point in doing anything?

[Anonymous]

Took son on magnificent trip to Asia to meet distant family. Stayed at amazing hotel, incredible hiking, trip to a lake etc. I asked him his favorite part of the trip, he said "the part where we came home" and hooked onto the Xbox the minute we walked in the door. I know it wasn't a totally teen-boy focused trip but geez. Is there any point in doing stuff like this with a kid this age, or should I have not even bothered, saved money, and gone to, like, six flags instead?

[Anonymous]

That would be my 13 year old son.

[Anonymous]

Cut the screen. Your kid is addicted. Not much else matters.

Is this what you want?

[Anonymous]

^^ He's not addicted, OP. Don't listen to this person.

[Anonymous]

OP, his response doesn't mean he didn't enjoy the trip or that he didn't get anything out of the trip. He was relieved to be in his home again. That's natural. Many people feel that way about traveling. I think you are reading way too much into this response. Pick a point in the trip (the visit to Temple XYZ; the fancy dinner at Restaurant Q, whatever) and discuss it with him. Don't expect him to manufacture memories for you on demand. He's not at an age where he's going to articulate like that.

[Anonymous]

My niece and nephew were in French immersion schools I their parents and grandparents would take them to French speaking countries to "practice".

If you ask them about it now 28, my nephew remembers topless women at the beach and my niece remembers people say um a lot.

Basically the rest was lost on them.

My brother decided to start taking them on white water rafting, hiking and rock climbing vacations and now they are avid outdoorsy, healthy people.... With advanced degrees and speak 3-4 languages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece and nephew were in French immersion schools I their parents and grandparents would take them to French speaking countries to "practice".

If you ask them about it now 28, my nephew remembers topless women at the beach and my niece remembers people say um a lot.

Basically the rest was lost on them.

My brother decided to start taking them on white water rafting, hiking and rock climbing vacations and now they are avid outdoorsy, healthy people.... With advanced degrees and speak 3-4 languages.

Yikes...we had plans to do this, you are making me re-think, LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cut the screen. Your kid is addicted. Not much else matters.

Is this what you want?

This. His dependence on gaming makes real life unable to measure up. How can it? You took him to Asia. On his screen, he gets Asia + aliens. That explode!

-- mom of 12 yr old boy

[Anonymous]

What kids "remember" from their travel isn't important. It's the time spent in another culture, hearing different languages, seeing different ways of life, watching their parents navigate unusual situations and more that makes travel important. It changes who they are. Just because he can't articulate what it meant to him doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him or that it's a waste to travel with kids. You gave him and education by traveling. Now let him play some video games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kids "remember" from their travel isn't important. It's the time spent in another culture, hearing different languages, seeing different ways of life, watching their parents navigate unusual situations and more that makes travel important. It changes who they are. Just because he can't articulate what it meant to him doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him or that it's a waste to travel with kids. You gave him and education by traveling. Now let him play some video games.

Nice attempt at rationalization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ He's not addicted, OP. Don't listen to this person.

Plus 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kids "remember" from their travel isn't important. It's the time spent in another culture, hearing different languages, seeing different ways of life, watching their parents navigate unusual situations and more that makes travel important. It changes who they are. Just because he can't articulate what it meant to him doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him or that it's a waste to travel with kids. You gave him and education by traveling. Now let him play some video games.

Plus q

[Anonymous]

I traveled a lot as a kid, and took one special trip in particular that's on par with your Asia trip. I was probably acting bored and annoyed half the time, like kids do. A couple of years later I began to look back fondly on the trip, and now as an adult I consider it one of the best events of my childhood - I now recognize how lucky I was to have that experience, and hope to do the same for my kids when they are a little older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cut the screen. Your kid is addicted. Not much else matters.

Is this what you want?

This. His dependence on gaming makes real life unable to measure up. How can it? You took him to Asia. On his screen, he gets Asia + aliens. That explode!

-- mom of 12 yr old boy

I disagree that this is about gaming and/or technology. It's because he's approaching puberty. He's testing you by being a smart ass, so don't let him get away with it! He doesn't have to like the trip, but he does have to be respectful to you.

When I was around that age, my parents took me to NYC, San Francisco, New Orleans, etc. I was a raging idiot, storming through Moma because I thought it was "stupid", wanting to just escape my parents in SF, and being concerned only about my hair and what I was wearing in NO.. I recall nothing meaningful from any if those trips - except that teenage angst.

Now that it is after the fact, you can have a calm discussion with him about his response to you.

[Anonymous]

Going hiking or to a lake doesn't appeal to me at all. Did he want to do those things?? Or did you?