11 yr old boy-is there any point in doing anything?
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Anonymous
| My friend's two DD's spent their entire Summer in Japan a couple years ago. They left two days after school got out, and returned 2 days before the new school year began in the Fall. Their trip looked incredible. They traveled all over Japan, explored temples, islands, aquariums, big cities, etc. We met up with them after they came home and I asked them to tell me what they enjoyed most. Silence. Their mom couldn't believe they had nothing to share as they had done so many amazing things. Well, a few months later we were all hanging out and out of the blue the older one who was 9 started telling my DS about something from their trip. Turned into a long "remember that time in Japan" conversation between the two girls trying to tell us all these things from their trip. I think they needed time to process everything and turn their trip into memories in order to fully appreciate and talk about their experience. Maybe the same goes for your DS. |
Anonymous
| My kid is the one with delayed puberty. He is in Europe and just played his sport at an elite club there for two hours. Wouldn't tell me what the coach said, which team they placed him on. Just not to ask dumb questions. |
Anonymous
| Our trips are pretty successful. But we plan them together and everyone gets a say in what we do. Before any of our vacations, my kids and I research the area where we are going together. Then everyone gets to pick an adventure. Everyone has to participate in all adventures without complaining - the kids are great about picking things most of us would like, but sometimes there are things I really want to do that will bore them and they are great sports about it. Then we build a trip plan together, which typically has flexibility built in for those times you discover things you didn't know about or when some of us are just not up for somethings we thought we'd like. We also try to make our accommodations in kid friendly places so there are things to do besides watch TV. We've been doing this since they were little and our trips with our now teens Have never been a disappointment. |
Anonymous
| When I was 12, my parents took us to Kenya over Christmas. While it was a fantastic vacation by all accounts, at the time, I mostly remember being upset that Santa showed up on a camel on the beach in Mombasa. Christmas for me, at that age, had always been snowy/cold/etc. That doesn't mean the trip was lost on me but that 12yr olds are odd creatures who do get homesick. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like some kids described in this thread are simply spoiled, take for granted that their parents have unlimited funds to spend on vacations, and don't feel the need to be appreciative. Being a tween/teen might have nothing to do with it. |
Anonymous
This! My parents scrimped and saved to take all five (!) kids on a two month trip to Japan. It was truly a trip of a lifetime, several weeks travelling through the mainland from Tokyo through Fukuoka, travel on the bullet train, a week in Kyoto, week in Okinawa and several weeks with grandparents and relatives on Miyakojima. I appreciated it a bit mor thsn your son. However, as a 11 year old I thought if I had to sit quietly and stare at one more rock garden or koi pond my head would explode. My favorite things were shopping for souveniers or going to the beach at the tail end of the trip. Oh, and the Oban parade. All the temples, castles, special meals and treats, were lost on me and my siblings. There were things we all really enjoyed, but you would not know it from our eye rolling and repeated questions of "Are we done yet and can we go find a toy store now?" I remember arguing with our parents who would not let us go to McDonalds to get burgers and instead took us to get sushi or something traditional. My younger siblings just wanted to go to the toy stores. I and all of my sibkings actually have fantastic memories of that trip, and are so grateful our parents took us, but you would not have known it as the time. |
Anonymous
| Don't worry, he was paying attention. You have given him a wonderful gift of experiences to treasure -- but the treasuring happens later. If I were you, I would take the photos from the trip and make a photobook (Kodak used to have a website where you just put in the photos and they arrange them in great ways into a glossy paperback booklet.) |
Anonymous
| There we were in Venice, teen kids, my second trip, their first, my DD loved, loved it, didn't want to leave. DS, also teen, kept asking, are we done yet, when are we going back to the car? Yet, after the trip neither of them talked about it. The highlight of the trip was when we were at a lake, really nice lake, and kids wouldn't ask for anything. So, I finally rented them one of those long boards you stand on a with a paddle. Best thing they says. They went to the middle of the lake on it, lake was really peaceful and I kept renting hours of these boards for two days. They still talk about it and want to go back. |
Anonymous
This is true (other Japan poster). Plus, there is actually a little culture shock coming back home when you travel for weeks to a different country,). In my opinion, more so for kids than grown ups. There is a big adjustment coming home where you really have too mich to process. Ask your son about the trip in a week or two, after he has had a chance to reconnect to his life and get over jet lag. Maybe have him help select some.pictures to print of some of the cooler places you visited. I bet it will eventually come out that he enjoyed himself far more than he is letting on now. |
Anonymous
| My tween is shy and a home body. Sibling is a social butterfly and an avid traveler. I push both to be well-rounded so there are times the tween is forced to use her passport. I don't book 21 day, 7 country trips with her because that would be cruel. I find things that are slow-paced and speak her interests, but are just in another culture. She's a foodie, military history buff, and STEM nerd so Europe is engaging and East Asia is a big draw. She would shrivel up and die on a Disney cruise ship through the Caribbean. Too bad, I'd love a deck chair, stack of books, and a paid tween wrangler. |
Anonymous
Well, duh! We are the ones sending them to the Wall! We are the ones acknowledging they are spoiled and entitled brats in every thread. However, being a teen has plenty to do with their attitudes as well. You are telling me poor kids don't have teen attitudes? They have it just as bad, and might be acting out mush worse than disliking expensive trips. |
Anonymous
No. Some may be but most are just normal teens. Have you travelled overseas for an extended trip as an 11-14 year old? There is a lot of culture shock involved, and depending on how long you were gone an adjustment period when you come home. This might be about selfishness, or it probably is not. It certainly has nothing to do with video game addiction  as the early poster insisted.
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Anonymous
| OP, how did your son behave DURING the trip? Was he excited and involved? Or a sullen pill? |
Anonymous
| My parents took me on many expensive overseas vacations growing up and I was so ungrateful. All I did was moan and complain and I still feel so bad. Allow me to apologise on your son's behalf. |
Anonymous
Thank-you for posting this. -Not the OP, but another parent of a seemingly ungrateful child. |