Any questions for someone who went through 12 years at a DC private school?

[Anonymous]

I'd be happy to answer any questions if parents have any regarding life at school, or what graduates are like 10ish years later.

I graduated around 10 years ago, but not much has changed according to a friend who now teaches there. I went to one of the "top" DC private schools. I went to a good state school (not close to DC) for college, and am now an attorney for the Federal Government in DC. Probably close to 1/2 my friends from HS went to an Ivy League school or a college with similar admissions standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be happy to answer any questions if parents have any regarding life at school, or what graduates are like 10ish years later.

I graduated around 10 years ago, but not much has changed according to a friend who now teaches there. I went to one of the "top" DC private schools. I went to a good state school (not close to DC) for college, and am now an attorney for the Federal Government in DC. Probably close to 1/2 my friends from HS went to an Ivy League school or a college with similar admissions standards.

How did you do in college? Were you prepared? Was it your choice to not attend an Ivy League school? How do you feel overall about the education you received? Is it something you want for your own kids (if you have any)?

[Anonymous]

I did very well in college, and it was much easier for me than it appeared to be for probably 1/2 the people on my dorm floor freshman year.

I wouldn't have gotten into an Ivy League, but honestly, after 12 years at my school I needed a change and pretty much only applied to big state schools. I felt like most people at my school were pretty much the same and I just needed something different. I'm very glad I went to a big state school.

Academically, I feel like the education was very good. However, particularly by the time you get to high school, it seems like the school had essentially already determined who would go to a Ivy League school, and those were the kids worth helping. A few teachers were the exception, but I remember after getting As in 2 English classes with the same teacher, he said he couldn't write me a letter of recommendation because he already had too many to write. I then found out he was writing one for my friend (who got an A- in the one class she took with him) who ended up attending Harvard. I learned he only wrote letters of rec for kids going to Ivys/Stanford/a private "elite" school because they were more worthwhile.

I don't have kids yet, but my husband and I have already decided that we will likely send our kids to public school. My experience at private school factored into this decision, but was not the main factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did very well in college, and it was much easier for me than it appeared to be for probably 1/2 the people on my dorm floor freshman year.

I wouldn't have gotten into an Ivy League, but honestly, after 12 years at my school I needed a change and pretty much only applied to big state schools. I felt like most people at my school were pretty much the same and I just needed something different. I'm very glad I went to a big state school.

Academically, I feel like the education was very good. However, particularly by the time you get to high school, it seems like the school had essentially already determined who would go to a Ivy League school, and those were the kids worth helping. A few teachers were the exception, but I remember after getting As in 2 English classes with the same teacher, he said he couldn't write me a letter of recommendation because he already had too many to write. I then found out he was writing one for my friend (who got an A- in the one class she took with him) who ended up attending Harvard. I learned he only wrote letters of rec for kids going to Ivys/Stanford/a private "elite" school because they were more worthwhile.

I don't have kids yet, but my husband and I have already decided that we will likely send our kids to public school. My experience at private school factored into this decision, but was not the main factor.

I don't understand what "more worthwhile" means. Was it that he thought that no matter what he wrote, he didn't think you would get into the Ivy League school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did very well in college, and it was much easier for me than it appeared to be for probably 1/2 the people on my dorm floor freshman year.

I wouldn't have gotten into an Ivy League, but honestly, after 12 years at my school I needed a change and pretty much only applied to big state schools. I felt like most people at my school were pretty much the same and I just needed something different. I'm very glad I went to a big state school.

Academically, I feel like the education was very good. However, particularly by the time you get to high school, it seems like the school had essentially already determined who would go to a Ivy League school, and those were the kids worth helping. A few teachers were the exception, but I remember after getting As in 2 English classes with the same teacher, he said he couldn't write me a letter of recommendation because he already had too many to write. I then found out he was writing one for my friend (who got an A- in the one class she took with him) who ended up attending Harvard. I learned he only wrote letters of rec for kids going to Ivys/Stanford/a private "elite" school because they were more worthwhile.

I don't have kids yet, but my husband and I have already decided that we will likely send our kids to public school. My experience at private school factored into this decision, but was not the main factor.

I don't understand what "more worthwhile" means. Was it that he thought that no matter what he wrote, he didn't think you would get into the Ivy League school?

He knew I wasn't applying to any Ivy League schools before I asked him to write a letter of rec (so obviously no matter what he put in the letter, I wouldn't have gotten in haha). I later learned that some teachers take pride in having writing recs where a high percentage then go on to Ivy Leagues. I'm not sure if there's any professional benefit to this (maybe publishing opportunities or seminars?), if they happen to know some people at Ivy Leagues, or if it's just general bragging rights. But there were definitely a few teachers who basically only wrote letters if the student was applying to at least a couple Ivys.

[Anonymous]

Why are you thinking public school for your kids? Is it mostly financial?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you thinking public school for your kids? Is it mostly financial?

The money is certainly important. I decided a long time ago that I never wanted to work for biglaw like one of my parents. The government pays less, but I make a very comfortable salary, and have amazing work/life balance.

In terms of non-financial factors, my husband has many public school teachers in his family (though not in the DC system) and public schools were important to him. Additionally, many of the kids I went to school with had a fairly elitist perspective. Honestly, I don't want my kids to be called poor because they don't fly private (literally happened to me), or think people who work to get through school are in a way below them. Obviously this was NOT true of all the kids at my school, but I would guess, at least in my grade, the "loudest" 25% were like that. I legitimately thought my family was very middle class until I went to college, when all of a sudden I was considered rich. Obviously this doesn't matter to a lot of parents, or to many it's outweighed by the benefits, but I think that at this point, many DC public schools/charter schools are so good that (for me) private school isn't necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He knew I wasn't applying to any Ivy League schools before I asked him to write a letter of rec (so obviously no matter what he put in the letter, I wouldn't have gotten in haha). I later learned that some teachers take pride in having writing recs where a high percentage then go on to Ivy Leagues. I'm not sure if there's any professional benefit to this (maybe publishing opportunities or seminars?), if they happen to know some people at Ivy Leagues, or if it's just general bragging rights. But there were definitely a few teachers who basically only wrote letters if the student was applying to at least a couple Ivys.

I don't think I approve of your teachers' thinking, but I don't think it is snobbery or elitism. They may have thought that a teacher recommendation to a large state school would not affect your chances of getting in. Those schools are heavily reliant on test scores and GPA for their decisions. At Michigan, UVA, or the UC system, teacher recommendations just don't mean that much. On the other hand, teacher recommendations can be determinative for the super selective schools. Recs are like student essays and the more powerful they are, the more weight they carry to break the ties among a large pool of highly qualified applicants. Because of smaller class sizes and lower teaching loads, independent schools teachers can write far more personal recommendations for their students than public school teachers and admissions officers know that they teach students pretty similar to the colleges' pool. These often take hours to write plus a lengthy meeting beforehand. So there is a pretty hard limit to how many they can take on. The teachers certainly do not get any benefits from colleges where their students get in, though the independent schools benefit mightily from families happy with college admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you thinking public school for your kids? Is it mostly financial?

The money is certainly important. I decided a long time ago that I never wanted to work for biglaw like one of my parents. The government pays less, but I make a very comfortable salary, and have amazing work/life balance.

In terms of non-financial factors, my husband has many public school teachers in his family (though not in the DC system) and public schools were important to him. Additionally, many of the kids I went to school with had a fairly elitist perspective. Honestly, I don't want my kids to be called poor because they don't fly private (literally happened to me), or think people who work to get through school are in a way below them. Obviously this was NOT true of all the kids at my school, but I would guess, at least in my grade, the "loudest" 25% were like that. I legitimately thought my family was very middle class until I went to college, when all of a sudden I was considered rich. Obviously this doesn't matter to a lot of parents, or to many it's outweighed by the benefits, but I think that at this point, many DC public schools/charter schools are so good that (for me) private school isn't necessary.

This is interesting. I went all the way through at one of the top DC privates. My husbands family are also public-school teachers. What really influenced my decision was the snobby, elitist culture that the schools have developed. I'm older than you – graduated 20 years ago – but it was not like this when I went there. The culture of celebrity has overtaken the school. I just don't want my kids surrounded by that atmosphere (or myself surrounded by the parents!)

The majority of my high school classmates are not sending their kids there. Obviously money is a factor for some, but far from for all. I'm not naïve enough to separate the fact that I can afford a great public school district from the results of my education, but plenty of my neighbors went to public school and turned out more than fine. Including my husband. It's also important to me that my kids go to school with friends from the neighborhood. That was something I really missed going to private as a kid.

There is an unspoken thought amongst a lot of big three graduates that sending your kids there is sort of a "new money" - for lack of a better way to put it - thing these days. A lot of people trying to prove a point.

[Anonymous]

Is anyone else reminded of the Sneetches?

[Anonymous]

When you got to college, did you find your "new" college friends who took public school route intellectually inferior? Private vs public is one of the hot topics here, often times, it gets nasty. You are in an unique position to assess that. Do you have any thoughts on private vs public debate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you thinking public school for your kids? Is it mostly financial?

The money is certainly important. I decided a long time ago that I never wanted to work for biglaw like one of my parents. The government pays less, but I make a very comfortable salary, and have amazing work/life balance.

In terms of non-financial factors, my husband has many public school teachers in his family (though not in the DC system) and public schools were important to him. Additionally, many of the kids I went to school with had a fairly elitist perspective. Honestly, I don't want my kids to be called poor because they don't fly private (literally happened to me), or think people who work to get through school are in a way below them. Obviously this was NOT true of all the kids at my school, but I would guess, at least in my grade, the "loudest" 25% were like that. I legitimately thought my family was very middle class until I went to college, when all of a sudden I was considered rich. Obviously this doesn't matter to a lot of parents, or to many it's outweighed by the benefits, but I think that at this point, many DC public schools/charter schools are so good that (for me) private school isn't necessary.

This is interesting. I went all the way through at one of the top DC privates. My husbands family are also public-school teachers. What really influenced my decision was the snobby, elitist culture that the schools have developed. I'm older than you – graduated 20 years ago – but it was not like this when I went there. The culture of celebrity has overtaken the school. I just don't want my kids surrounded by that atmosphere (or myself surrounded by the parents!)

The majority of my high school classmates are not sending their kids there. Obviously money is a factor for some, but far from for all. I'm not naïve enough to separate the fact that I can afford a great public school district from the results of my education, but plenty of my neighbors went to public school and turned out more than fine. Including my husband. It's also important to me that my kids go to school with friends from the neighborhood. That was something I really missed going to private as a kid.

There is an unspoken thought amongst a lot of big three graduates that sending your kids there is sort of a "new money" - for lack of a better way to put it - thing these days. A lot of people trying to prove a point.

NP here. This is what I found when I met several Big-3 parents at a party recently. I imagined that they would be more like the families I was used to growing up (I went to a private school but not in DC) but they were definitely first-generation private parents, mainly from the tech industry. Which is fine, of course, but not at all what I expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you got to college, did you find your "new" college friends who took public school route intellectually inferior? Private vs public is one of the hot topics here, often times, it gets nasty. You are in an unique position to assess that. Do you have any thoughts on private vs public debate?

No. Obviously some people in college were intellectually inferior, because that's just how life works. Maybe it's because I surrounded myself with fairly studious people, but my friends from college (who are still my best friends) are insanely smart. My small group of friends is make up of a surgeon, a person who runs a department of a major retail store, and a couple people who are very successful in finance. My college boyfriend was an auditor for a major company right out of school and now is a financial strategist, I think. They all went to public schools from all over the country.

I think people surround themselves with people like them. If you're a serious student, you surround yourself with other serious students. Don't get me wrong, I partied more than enough in college, but I surrounded myself with people like me who worked hard and played hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you thinking public school for your kids? Is it mostly financial?

The money is certainly important. I decided a long time ago that I never wanted to work for biglaw like one of my parents. The government pays less, but I make a very comfortable salary, and have amazing work/life balance.

In terms of non-financial factors, my husband has many public school teachers in his family (though not in the DC system) and public schools were important to him. Additionally, many of the kids I went to school with had a fairly elitist perspective. Honestly, I don't want my kids to be called poor because they don't fly private (literally happened to me), or think people who work to get through school are in a way below them. Obviously this was NOT true of all the kids at my school, but I would guess, at least in my grade, the "loudest" 25% were like that. I legitimately thought my family was very middle class until I went to college, when all of a sudden I was considered rich. Obviously this doesn't matter to a lot of parents, or to many it's outweighed by the benefits, but I think that at this point, many DC public schools/charter schools are so good that (for me) private school isn't necessary.

This is interesting. I went all the way through at one of the top DC privates. My husbands family are also public-school teachers. What really influenced my decision was the snobby, elitist culture that the schools have developed. I'm older than you – graduated 20 years ago – but it was not like this when I went there. The culture of celebrity has overtaken the school. I just don't want my kids surrounded by that atmosphere (or myself surrounded by the parents!)

The majority of my high school classmates are not sending their kids there. Obviously money is a factor for some, but far from for all. I'm not naïve enough to separate the fact that I can afford a great public school district from the results of my education, but plenty of my neighbors went to public school and turned out more than fine. Including my husband. It's also important to me that my kids go to school with friends from the neighborhood. That was something I really missed going to private as a kid.

There is an unspoken thought amongst a lot of big three graduates that sending your kids there is sort of a "new money" - for lack of a better way to put it - thing these days. A lot of people trying to prove a point.

+1
I'm in your boat exactly- graduated from a big 3 twenty years ago and feel the same way about not going private now.

[Anonymous]

Please tell me that you *do* realize that distancing yourself from "new money" is a classic attribute of "snobby, elitist culture."