Is it normal to take multiple vacations but never visit family?

[Anonymous]

Sibling and spouse take about 5 separate week-long Caribbean trips a year. They can afford it, they have the time, and that's great. Happy for them.

While they talk of visiting us (approx 1-hr direct flight) and talk of the importance of family/relatives, it never comes to fruition. Not for a single weekend, not for years. We visit about 2x annually.

Am I wrong to thing this seems maybe a little obnoxious?

[Anonymous]

They already see you twice a year. If you want them to see you suggest switching

[Anonymous]

We don't, but SIL does. She dislikes us, goodness knows why.

[Anonymous]

family is so boring compared to the trips they're taking. If you're going to see them, they don't need to come see you.

Cut your trips off for a year and maybe you can reshuffle the way it works.

[Anonymous]

Stop volunteering to visit them. If they want to see you, they'll visit you or invite you to stay with them.

[Anonymous]

Traveling is different than seeing family. One is a hobby. The other is an obligation.

[Anonymous]

Visiting family is not a vacation. Since you do not get along with your SIL why would you want to get together?

[Anonymous]

Have you actually invited them to visit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Visiting family is not a vacation. Since you do not get along with your SIL why would you want to get together?

This. I assure you, this is not accidental that they are spending their vacations in the Caribbean!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Visiting family is not a vacation. Since you do not get along with your SIL why would you want to get together?

OP here. Who said I do not get along with my SIL?? I've never had an issue with her.

When we visit, we see multiple people and family members, so it's more of a group visit. And yes visiting family can be "boring" (but doesn't have to be that way). They know the invitation is always open, but I guess I don't understand people saying they "value family" but aren't interested in making the effort. A little bit of effort for a weekend visit can go a long way, especially when time/money aren't an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Visiting family is not a vacation. Since you do not get along with your SIL why would you want to get together?

OP here. Who said I do not get along with my SIL?? I've never had an issue with her.

When we visit, we see multiple people and family members, so it's more of a group visit. And yes visiting family can be "boring" (but doesn't have to be that way). They know the invitation is always open, but I guess I don't understand people saying they "value family" but aren't interested in making the effort. A little bit of effort for a weekend visit can go a long way, especially when time/money aren't an issue.

A few things:

1- it's ok for people to have different definitions of valuing family. 2x/yr is enough for some ppl.

2- they are making as much effort as they want. If you want to see them more then say it, and make a plan.

3- myob

4- stop counting other people's time and money

[Anonymous]

I don't know that I would call it obnoxious. If you don't want to travel to see them don't. Better to not go than to go and feel resentful.

[Anonymous]

If you enjoy seeing them you could suggest taking a vacation together somewhere nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Visiting family is not a vacation. Since you do not get along with your SIL why would you want to get together?

OP here. Who said I do not get along with my SIL?? I've never had an issue with her.

When we visit, we see multiple people and family members, so it's more of a group visit. And yes visiting family can be "boring" (but doesn't have to be that way). They know the invitation is always open, but I guess I don't understand people saying they "value family" but aren't interested in making the effort. A little bit of effort for a weekend visit can go a long way, especially when time/money aren't an issue.

Ok....if she dislikes you why would you want to have her visit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We don't, but SIL does. She dislikes us, goodness knows why.

This wasn't OP, right?