Finding a sitter for morning monitoring appointments
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Anonymous
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I'm about to start my first IVF cycle and I am unable to find anyone to take care of my toddler during my monitoring appointments. My husband has to be at work at 6 am and can't take off the morning unfortunately (he does shift work and has to be there for the entire shift starting at 6 am). I'm a SAHM and we have no local family. I have a few SAHM friends I may possibly be able to call but they all have young kids too and they'd have to bring them and be here super early and I'm not sure it's going to work out (none of these SAHM friends live anywhere near me). They also are always late to things so I don't know if I can really count on them to be here on time so I can get to my appointment on time. I can't bring my toddler (2 years old) to the appointments, he is very loud, doesn't sit still and wouldn't do well in that type of setting.
We don't have a babysitter and I have no idea how I'm going to arrange childcare. Most of my friends work full-time and use daycare. I have gone on care.com and sittercity before and have not been able to find anyone for these early morning hours. What should I do? I have already postponed my IVF cycle twice due to childcare issues. |
Anonymous
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Options:
-enroll in daycare for a month or see if you can find a home daycare that will do drop in care -find a baby sitter -ask friends; you drop off at their place -husband takes sick leave/swaps shifts with some one/or comes in late; even with shift work there has to be some flexibility |
Anonymous
| College student, neighbors, White House nannies. There are options if you are committed to IVF |
Anonymous
| That is really tough OP. Can you drop your kids off at your SAHM friends' house instead? Not sure where you are cycling, but I was at Shady Grove Annandale, and while it's obviously best to be on time, I think they are able to fit people in and juggle things a bit. I was always early and saw a lot of people come and go - seemed pretty "first one in, first one out" to me, even with appointments. |
Anonymous
| I would post on sitter city and also send a note to your neighborhood listserv. THis would be a good way to earn extra money for a nanny who works in your neighborhood and starts her main job at 8 or 830. |
Anonymous
| If you are a sahm, why can't you take later monitoring appointments and drop your kid off with a friend on the way? |
Anonymous
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OP here. We are in the distant suburbs. I called White House Nannies and a few other last minute agencies and they said they had no one to send me and also they don't know until the night before, so there's too many uncertainties.
We have no neighborhood listserv. I'm concerned I'll have to postpone again. One option is to fly in my mother in law, but she'd need to be here for a week to 10 days and I don't think she's willing to be here that long. |
Anonymous
OP here. I'm looking into this. But all my SAHM friends work part-time, I don't know if this will work with their schedules. None of them live anywhere near me, which is fine, but it will be an extra 30 minutes of driving each way to their houses at least. |
Anonymous
| Well you gotta do at you've gotta do. I'm not in the DC area anymore, and I travelled 3.5 hours one way for monitoring at my clinic. Thirty minutes won't hurt you. |
Anonymous
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As someone with primary infertility and losses, I just ask that you NOT bring your child to the clinic with you, if you're using a clinic that asks you not to (like shady grove). I know you're not even suggesting that, which I appreciate.
I have seen people suggest that it's not that big of a deal if you have to take your child once or twice and people will adjust. But it would be heartbreaking to learn that your embryo doesn't have a heartbeat, hear about your options for D and C or miscarrying at home, and then walk into a waiting room that you expect to be a child free zone and see a toddler. I appreciate you not even considering doing that to someone else. |
Anonymous
I think this is your best bet. Reach out to any friends or neighbors possible. I drove 1-3 hours each way for my appointments, for 2 years, with an older child. You make it work. |
Anonymous
| OP here. The other issue is that my child doesn't know these other SAHMs who I could ask about babysitting. I'm worried about him freaking out and crying the whole time he's with them in a strange environment. |
Anonymous
| I took the latest appts they had and hired a sitter. That way I had my kid up and didn't have to worry about him waking up to a sitter. Since monitoring appts don't take long you will need to pay well to make it worth a sitters time. Nobody is going to fight morning traffic to be at your house at 8am for an hour and only earn $12. You will need to hire a sitter and just let your older kid cry when you leave and then play with the sitter. It will be fine. |
Anonymous
| Bring your toddler. Strap him in the stroller. Load up an iPad or similar with shoes and games. Ply him with coveted special snacks. Most monitoring appts are pretty quick. They might move even quicker if you have a screaming toddler. |
Anonymous
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It only happened once, but I couldn't avoid bringing my son to SGF one day for monitoring (Annandale). They put us in a conference room and brought the needles to us for bloodwork. Then we used the ultrasound room right next to the conference room.
I do need someone to babysit occasionally very early morning for an hour or two, and was able to find someone on my community list serve. |