Finding a sitter for morning monitoring appointments

[Anonymous]

Shady Grove has signs all over the place asking patients to not bring children, out of respect for the patients who are struggling to have a child (and don't already have one at home). Columbia doesn't have that policy. OP should switch to Columbia rather than ignore the rule.

[Anonymous]

Care.com and sittercity.com. For $50 for one hour you WILL find someone. For $15, no way - not worth anyone's time.

Also - like others mentioned, call the neighborhood daycares - some may not be full and will be able to watch him.

Yes, your appointment can be as short as 15 minutes and $50 seems like a lot to have someone watch your kid for an hour. BUT - this is what being a parent is all about - making sacrifices. Think of it as part of your overall costs. And cheaper than flying someone in.


I wouldn't take your toddler with you - some women won't mind, but others are at an emotional state. You already have a child, many don't. Be sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are in the distant suburbs. I called White House Nannies and a few other last minute agencies and they said they had no one to send me and also they don't know until the night before, so there's too many uncertainties.

We have no neighborhood listserv.

I'm concerned I'll have to postpone again. One option is to fly in my mother in law, but she'd need to be here for a week to 10 days and I don't think she's willing to be here that long.

Have you asked your MIL? It might not be ideal for her to stay with you for a week to 10 days, but if you explain why you need her help, that might change her mind.

OP, you seem to be putting up roadblocks here for yourself. Are you not ready to go down this road again, and using childcare as a reason why? If not, that's fine. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. But you have already decided you can't find a babysitter and your MIL can't help and your friends cant help before you even try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bring your toddler. Strap him in the stroller. Load up an iPad or similar with shoes and games. Ply him with coveted special snacks. Most monitoring appts are pretty quick. They might move even quicker if you have a screaming toddler.

The process of getting blood samples and ultrasounds take between 5-15 minutes max!

I took my kid to monitoring appointments then dropped him off at day care before going to work.

You had a childcare option (daycare) and still brought your kid to your appts?

And the appt might be quick but you still need to wait until your turn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But you have already decided you can't find a babysitter and your MIL can't help and your friends cant help before you even try.

+1. I'm at SG and have done cycle after cycle (of IVF) without success. There were lots of roadblocks and challenges but I figured out work-arounds because I want this so badly. I would do ANYTHING for a child, and OP won't even find a babysitter for her existing child so she can do 1 IVF.

[Anonymous]

I hope the person who had daycare but took her child to appointments was not at a clinic with a no children rule. I really hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:its almost summer. High school students will be off soon and college kids already are. Why don't you post something on fb about needing a sitter. You don't need to post specifics just write that you need a short term sitter for the mornings and see who responds. I'm sure you have friends in the area who use sitters or they might have a neighbor with a high school kid who could help.

I'm shocked that you couldn't find anyone on sittercity. I posted something and had many people contact me. I ended up picking two sitters and still use them both for date nights and when I need to go to appts. How are you not getting any interest? How are you wording your ad? I think I just wrote something about how i needed a sitter for immediate short term early morning work and occasional evening sitting.

+1 If you have a husband with inflexible shift work, no local family, and mostly SAHM friends who aren't that available, it's a good idea get a sitter for emergencies as well as for your IVF. Maybe increase the rate you're willing to pay or advertise on the job board of your local high school/college? As PP says with summer coming, there's a lot of people who will have more availability.

[Anonymous]

Oh sweetie, it's time to get your sh*t together.
I remember you from six months ago, when I was lingering on this board during my last round of IVF. Now I'm considering DE, and I see you're back, too. If I lived anywhere near you if come watch your kid while you did monitoring, but I can't do the way out 'burbs.

You have many choices here, and they all involve either sacrifice, throwing money at a problem, or doing the thing that seems to be most uncomfortable to you: asking for help. (Welcome not just to parenthood, but adulthood!)

It's time for tough love and here are your options:

*get your husband to switch shifts or take a vacation day. Suck up the financial loss or loss of vacation time as a sacrifice for something you both want.
*ask your MIL to help.
*pay ridiculous amounts of money to a short term sitter to cover the morning shift while you do monitoring. Accept that your kid might not like it, but that it's just and hour out of their life, nothing more.
*get someone at your church or temple or gym or playgroup or library kids group or yoga class or WHATEVER to help you. Go do something to MAKE A FRIEND. Tell them you are in need.
*join the local RESOLVE support group, which meets monthly. Their email is [e-mail]. I bet they can help you find a fellow IVF traveler in your area who will help.
*ask a neighbor to drive with you to the clinic in the morning and to watch your (potentially screaming) kid in the car while you go in and do your thing. Tell your nurse you need to be in and out fast because you have issues that make everything challenging.

If none of these options work, then you are, for whatever reason, putting up your own road blocks to the thing you say you want. That's your trip, not anyone else's. And you seem to maybe have some legit reasons for dragging your heels on a second kid.

Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I don't see the problem with bringing your kid to the fertility clinic. I have struggled and have no kids yet-at the present time going through IVF.
The appointments are quick in and out; like bloodwork or transvaginal sonogram. All of that takes less than 20 minutes. Everywhere I go I am faced with seeing babies and children; the grocery store, the movies, restaurants, and shopping. You cannot avoid seeing babies and children. I just don't see the big deal.

[Anonymous]

Super for you that you don't see the big deal. Does it matter at all to you that others do?

Also, keep in mind that other people in the waiting room may have been at this a lot longer than you, may have much lower chances of success than you, or may have faced many more losses than you. Just because it doesn't upset you doesn't mean it's ok for other people (or that it won't upset you at some other point in your journey).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope the person who had daycare but took her child to appointments was not at a clinic with a no children rule. I really hope.

oh for goodness sake. I know that undergoing fertility treatments is a precarious time emotionally for a lot of women--but hopefully most people aren't so fragile that they can't deal with looking at a child for 15 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Monitoring appts aren't every day, your DH can take one or two days off so you don't have to worry about those days. Maybe MIL can come for a few days. Check care.com again. With school ending, there may be a bigger pool of sitters available.

Depending on where you are in NOVA, the Kingstowne/Alexandria Baby Exchange and All About Springfield/Alexandria/Lorton/Burke groups often have babysitter posts. Even if you're not in those particular areas, there could be something similar in your area.

Book the latest monitoring appt and then have the sitter there for a few hours, you can go to your appointment and run errands or whatever. It might be good for you and your son.

If you really want to do this, you'll figure out how to make it happen. Don't bring your kid.

[Anonymous]

It's not like it's a pediatricians office. I am guessing that maybe 30% are moms that already have children and are in a struggle with getting pregnant with #2. To me, seeing a child in the waiting room is not a big deal. I see kids everywhere-everyday. Yes, I have declined baby showers and 1st birthdays because I didn't want to deal with the happiness of babies and moms all in one room. But from how I look at it, these moms are struggling with having a baby too. To me it does not matter that they had baby #1 already. Life is hard, I have dealt with 4 miscarriages. Not fun. But you have to push through life just like any other ordinary struggle. The whole point is that we are all struggling and are in one room together, and it's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not like it's a pediatricians office. I am guessing that maybe 30% are moms that already have children and are in a struggle with getting pregnant with #2. To me, seeing a child in the waiting room is not a big deal. I see kids everywhere-everyday. Yes, I have declined baby showers and 1st birthdays because I didn't want to deal with the happiness of babies and moms all in one room. But from how I look at it, these moms are struggling with having a baby too. To me it does not matter that they had baby #1 already. Life is hard, I have dealt with 4 miscarriages. Not fun. But you have to push through life just like any other ordinary struggle. The whole point is that we are all struggling and are in one room together, and it's ok.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, you seem to be putting up roadblocks here for yourself. Are you not ready to go down this road again, and using childcare as a reason why? If not, that's fine. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. But you have already decided you can't find a babysitter and your MIL can't help and your friends cant help before you even try.

This. I had to take my toddler to an out-of-state clinic with me and find a sitter for her while I went to my monitoring appts. Oh, and I'd never left her with a sitter while back in DC. Was it easy? No. But, as others have said, you do what you have to do. You're in Alexandria? Get on the Old Town Moms listserv, which covers more than just Old Town, and send out a plea for morning help. It's out there if you're willing.