Closing the barn door after the horse! (condom related)

[Anonymous]

At a conference I recently met and slept with a man from out of town. In our intoxicated state, we did not use protection. BIG mistake, I know. HUGE!

Now he is coming to my city for another conference and we plan to meet up again. I would like him to wear a condom this time. I do feel a bit stupid requesting this, though, since we already did it without. What do you think is the best way to request this without sounding like a damn fool? I am also interested in hearing what men would think of this--would you be super disappointed, think it sensible, what?

[Anonymous]

It's fine. Just explain that not using one was a mistake the last time and that you prefer to use one in future encounters.

If he has an issue with your request, this guy doesn't deserve to get laid. And it's a clear sign for you to run away - FAST.

I would recommend that you be prepared and have your own condoms available. Don't rely on him to bring some.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't capable of requesting a man wears a conform, then you don't need to be having sex

[Anonymous]

If you can't ask your partner to wear a condom then you should not be having sex with him.

[Anonymous]

Buy them yourself so you have them on hand so it's easier to just hand one over when he needs it.

[Anonymous]

Speaking as a guy who has issues with condoms, I'd probably angle for mutual oral sex instead.

Now before anyone gets on me about "having issues" with condoms, I don't have anything against the use of them per se. For some reason though, as soon as I had one on, I would lose my erection. I don't know if it was an allergy thing or some other issue, but snap, gone. Kind of embarrassing, but thankfully, I had several girlfriends in college who were on the pill, and yes, I got STD tested before new partners to be as safe as possible.

Years later, I'm married, have one kid, and my wife decides that the pills she's on are messing with her hormones too much. We decide to try condoms again. We spent money on all types...thin, ribbed, whatever. Didn't matter, same issue, years later. After 10+ years, my wife and I had had sex thousands of times and were perfectly comfortable with each other, so I wouldn't chalk it up to performance anxiety or anything like that.

Now we have two kids and I got snipped, and we enjoy a ton of condom free, worry free sex.

I realize I just went off on a tangent there, so I suppose to tie it back to the question asked, don't be surprised if he isn't enthused, there could be a reason for it other than the usual. Probably not, but maybe.

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy and would be totally fine with a condom request.

[Anonymous]

A man here. Very sad. OP, you sound desperate. If you can't ask for what you want, then you're pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man here. Very sad. OP, you sound desperate. If you can't ask for what you want, then you're pathetic.

NP. How about it's sad that the man doesn't just have condoms and use them automatically without having to be asked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man here. Very sad. OP, you sound desperate. If you can't ask for what you want, then you're pathetic.

NP. How about it's sad that the man doesn't just have condoms and use them automatically without having to be asked?

Sounds like both parties were drunk and not thinking clearly. The original mistake is the fault of both parties equally.
It also sounds like a random hook-up, so I can understand neither person being prepared for sex.

[Anonymous]

Op, mention it (yes you can be a big girl and talk about it) before you meet-up. That way he gets to decide. If it matters so much to him, or he can't discuss it, you know how shallow and insignificant this is - and get out!

[Anonymous]

You probably should be tested. Since he lives far away I wouldn't see him again since there's no chance for a relationship, certainly don't sleep with the idiot. Is he married?

[Anonymous]

I would just have them and if he wants to seal the deal he needs to wear one.

[Anonymous]

Find out where he lives etc. in case you get pregnant. That way you know his address etc. for child support garnishment.

I used to work in family court, amazing the stupid guys who were paying big bucks for these kinds of things. Most of the women I believe didn't take the pill accidentally on purpose, lol.

[Anonymous]

Man here with issues also

I go soft immediately now. Many years ago it felt like it would slip some and I was concerned it would pull off in the middle of the act. Now I go soft immediately and can't get past it
I do the testing route and meanwhile go with oral until testing. It kill ONS but I can't do anything about it