He Wasn't Supposed To Date a Hot Preschool Teacher

[Anonymous]

To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP.

Just don't think about him. Just think about making your life everything it could be. You are free of him!

[Anonymous]

you should probably feel sorry for her because she will likely be abused by him, too. Be happy you got out. I'm sure you already know this, but abusers are very charming in the beginning. I'm sure that's how he reeled her in.

Good that you got out. Stay strong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

I so relate to this, OP. Except swap hot preschool teacher for hot doctor. And 20 years for 23. Ugh.

You know this already but, really, all you can do is focus on yourself and your kids. And remember that you DON'T WANT TO BE WITH HIM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

You sound just like my husband's ex wife. We've been married almost a decade now, and she is still very, very bitter that he married someone younger, prettier, and is happy. And no, he's not abusive to me at all nor has he ever been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

You sound just like my husband's ex wife. We've been married almost a decade now, and she is still very, very bitter that he married someone younger, prettier, and is happy. And no, he's not abusive to me at all nor has he ever been.

Not OP, that's nice for you, but you're an ass for posting this to OP. And, there's still time...

[Anonymous]

In that case, PP, he probably wasn't abusive to her. My XH was. He even admits it to me, his therapist and his family members. Does your H admit he abused her?

Also, I said she was hot, not prettier than me. I have no shortage of dating opportunities. There are just a lot of flawed guys out there. I will be bitter if he makes the changes for someone else and not me, though. That is true. I gave everything I had and then some in trying to get him to work on this stuff within the marriage. If your ex was abusive and an addict and changed after the divorce, I hope you have some respect and sympathy for his ex and what she went through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

You sound just like my husband's ex wife. We've been married almost a decade now, and she is still very, very bitter that he married someone younger, prettier, and is happy. And no, he's not abusive to me at all nor has he ever been.

Was your husband abusive to his first wife? Good for you for marrying him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

Not that she will listen, but have you ever considered telling her about the abuse you have been through with him? May save her a lot of grief down the road and then you will feel that you have helped someone out instead of feeling like he got away with something. If she marries him and he pulls the same thing on her, she is going to wish someone had said something to her early on. Plus even if she doesn't listen to you it will always be in the back of her mind and if it starts up she will know to get out.

[Anonymous]

She has nothing to do with you. She may be your children's step mom in the future though... Who cares, move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

You sound just like my husband's ex wife. We've been married almost a decade now, and she is still very, very bitter that he married someone younger, prettier, and is happy. And no, he's not abusive to me at all nor has he ever been.

Not OP, that's nice for you, but you're an ass for posting this to OP. And, there's still time...

Wow, yeah, karma is a bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has nothing to do with you. She may be your children's step mom in the future though... Who cares, move on.

wtf? Of course OP should care, especially if this person becomes a stepmom.

OP - I would be really bitter, too, if the ex got his shit together with a new woman but not me, especially after giving him 20 yrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In that case, PP, he probably wasn't abusive to her. My XH was. He even admits it to me, his therapist and his family members. Does your H admit he abused her?

Also, I said she was hot, not prettier than me. I have no shortage of dating opportunities. There are just a lot of flawed guys out there. I will be bitter if he makes the changes for someone else and not me, though. That is true. I gave everything I had and then some in trying to get him to work on this stuff within the marriage. If your ex was abusive and an addict and changed after the divorce, I hope you have some respect and sympathy for his ex and what she went through.

Here is the big problem with you and the OP. Once the divorce decree is signed move on, stop spying or whatever you are doing to know these things about his personal life. It's called moving on, stop wasting space about the past...it's only imprisoning you. Don't give me crap it's because of the kids if either of you have them with these losers. I know many that 86'd their exes, only do the neutral child exchanges..and lead completely separate lives. When the kids are old enough to drive they don't have to see the ex except maybe at the big graduation or wedding and even then you can be on the other side of the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has nothing to do with you. She may be your children's step mom in the future though... Who cares, move on.

wtf? Of course OP should care, especially if this person becomes a stepmom.

OP - I would be really bitter, too, if the ex got his shit together with a new woman but not me, especially after giving him 20 yrs.

Some choose to be bitter, some choose to get revenge by being happy and creating a wonderful new life. That's what I did, some of you should try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

Not that she will listen, but have you ever considered telling her about the abuse you have been through with him? May save her a lot of grief down the road and then you will feel that you have helped someone out instead of feeling like he got away with something. If she marries him and he pulls the same thing on her, she is going to wish someone had said something to her early on. Plus even if she doesn't listen to you it will always be in the back of her mind and if it starts up she will know to get out.

I would FB her or tell her as a courtesy, and what a decent person should do. If she has any documentation then I would give that to her. It's on her what she chooses to do, but I would be happy to be rid of a scumbag like that, and enjoy the 50% childless opportunity to enjoy my life with friends, dates, traveling, new hobbies, etc. OP chose to waste a lot of years with this loser, but she got out while she is still young while many don't.