He Wasn't Supposed To Date a Hot Preschool Teacher

[Anonymous]

Hugs, OP. I have no doubt that you're going to work through this and build a happy life - with or without a new partner. Kudos to you for having the strength and fortitude to finally get out. Best of luck to you!

[Anonymous]

OP remember that the preschool teacher may be all that stands between your abusive ex and him abusing your kids the 50% of time he has them. I am grateful every day that my ahole ex bamboozled some woman who is pretty much just like me - nice, responsible, boring, a mom, etc. etc. - into being his sugar momma #2. At least I know my kids are with a responsible adult when they are in his (really, her) house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

You sound just like my husband's ex wife. We've been married almost a decade now, and she is still very, very bitter that he married someone younger, prettier, and is happy. And no, he's not abusive to me at all nor has he ever been.

Wow, you're really insecure. Poor guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

Not that she will listen, but have you ever considered telling her about the abuse you have been through with him? May save her a lot of grief down the road and then you will feel that you have helped someone out instead of feeling like he got away with something. If she marries him and he pulls the same thing on her, she is going to wish someone had said something to her early on. Plus even if she doesn't listen to you it will always be in the back of her mind and if it starts up she will know to get out.

I would FB her or tell her as a courtesy, and what a decent person should do. If she has any documentation then I would give that to her. It's on her what she chooses to do, but I would be happy to be rid of a scumbag like that, and enjoy the 50% childless opportunity to enjoy my life with friends, dates, traveling, new hobbies, etc. OP chose to waste a lot of years with this loser, but she got out while she is still young while many don't.

You are nuts, PP. You don't do that when there is an abuser in the mix. You are asking for a huge amount of drama. If she believes you and you break up the relationship, the abuser may target you for punishment. That could get really violent. If she doesn't believe you and it doesn't break up the relationship, you look crazy and have ruined any relationship you might have with her in the future. If she ends up being a step-mom to your kids, that is going to be a mess.

If asked, you tell her. If she doesn't ask, you don't tell her. You aren't responsible for saving people from your exes. You have to protect yourself from that guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

You sound just like my husband's ex wife. We've been married almost a decade now, and she is still very, very bitter that he married someone younger, prettier, and is happy. And no, he's not abusive to me at all nor has he ever been.

Wow, you're really insecure. Poor guy.

Her post speaks volumes, she is indeed insecure and unhappy because the ex has succeeded with her agenda. She'll end up in the same boat, why 2nd marriages are much worse. Statistics back me up on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

Not that she will listen, but have you ever considered telling her about the abuse you have been through with him? May save her a lot of grief down the road and then you will feel that you have helped someone out instead of feeling like he got away with something. If she marries him and he pulls the same thing on her, she is going to wish someone had said something to her early on. Plus even if she doesn't listen to you it will always be in the back of her mind and if it starts up she will know to get out.

I would FB her or tell her as a courtesy, and what a decent person should do. If she has any documentation then I would give that to her. It's on her what she chooses to do, but I would be happy to be rid of a scumbag like that, and enjoy the 50% childless opportunity to enjoy my life with friends, dates, traveling, new hobbies, etc. OP chose to waste a lot of years with this loser, but she got out while she is still young while many don't.

You are nuts, PP. You don't do that when there is an abuser in the mix. You are asking for a huge amount of drama. If she believes you and you break up the relationship, the abuser may target you for punishment. That could get really violent. If she doesn't believe you and it doesn't break up the relationship, you look crazy and have ruined any relationship you might have with her in the future. If she ends up being a step-mom to your kids, that is going to be a mess.

If asked, you tell her. If she doesn't ask, you don't tell her. You aren't responsible for saving people from your exes. You have to protect yourself from that guy.

Those are valid points. I would do it anonymously, I'll bet their friends and family know what a peach of a guy he is so he'll never know who clued his new wife in.

[Anonymous]

OP, your venom doesn't hurt anybody but you. You won't find happines until you let go of your misery. Move on already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

Not that she will listen, but have you ever considered telling her about the abuse you have been through with him? May save her a lot of grief down the road and then you will feel that you have helped someone out instead of feeling like he got away with something. If she marries him and he pulls the same thing on her, she is going to wish someone had said something to her early on. Plus even if she doesn't listen to you it will always be in the back of her mind and if it starts up she will know to get out.

I would FB her or tell her as a courtesy, and what a decent person should do. If she has any documentation then I would give that to her. It's on her what she chooses to do, but I would be happy to be rid of a scumbag like that, and enjoy the 50% childless opportunity to enjoy my life with friends, dates, traveling, new hobbies, etc. OP chose to waste a lot of years with this loser, but she got out while she is still young while many don't.

LMAO yeah noooooothing would be as credible as such accusations coming from an ex-wife. Not to mention the huge problem it will create in your relationship with your ex -- who you still have to deal with, remember?

She has to find out for herself what it's like to be married to him.

[Anonymous]

My friend told her ex'es new gf ALL about him and his cheating ways. He was verbally abusive so it didn't last long. The gf thanked her!

[Anonymous]

These posts are absurd. What do people think happen when you divorce? The other person moves on with their life. And you get zero say in that life.

OP's first post just proves that people divorce with an "Agenda" thinking they'll teach the other person a lesson and get them to see the error of their ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To add insult to injury, who was introduced to him by one of his college fraternity brothers who grew up in this area. He was supposed to hit bottom, face his abuse and addiction, and try to reconcile the marriage. Everyone said, "Just wait until he sees what is in the post-divorce dating pool. Bwahaha. He'll realize what he's done and change."

Why is it abusers always seem to win somehow? If he is with her how he was with me, she won't see the abuse until AFTER they get married. I swear to God, it was like somebody flipped a switch at the stroke of midnight on our wedding day, and it got worse and worse over time. Took me 20 years to get out.

I wish I had friends from the area to introduce me to a hot future husband, but my luck doesn't run that way. Off to lick my wounds and create a good life for myself and my kids for the 50% that I have them.

Not that she will listen, but have you ever considered telling her about the abuse you have been through with him? May save her a lot of grief down the road and then you will feel that you have helped someone out instead of feeling like he got away with something. If she marries him and he pulls the same thing on her, she is going to wish someone had said something to her early on. Plus even if she doesn't listen to you it will always be in the back of her mind and if it starts up she will know to get out.

I would FB her or tell her as a courtesy, and what a decent person should do. If she has any documentation then I would give that to her. It's on her what she chooses to do, but I would be happy to be rid of a scumbag like that, and enjoy the 50% childless opportunity to enjoy my life with friends, dates, traveling, new hobbies, etc. OP chose to waste a lot of years with this loser, but she got out while she is still young while many don't.

LMAO yeah noooooothing would be as credible as such accusations coming from an ex-wife. Not to mention the huge problem it will create in your relationship with your ex -- who you still have to deal with, remember?

She has to find out for herself what it's like to be married to him.

For one he can no longer control her, so sad for him. Everyone's different, I would want to know if I were dating an abuser. If she has photos of bruises or a documented arrest for domestic abuse it's NOT accusations, LOL! LMAO yeah...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP remember that the preschool teacher may be all that stands between your abusive ex and him abusing your kids the 50% of time he has them. I am grateful every day that my ahole ex bamboozled some woman who is pretty much just like me - nice, responsible, boring, a mom, etc. etc. - into being his sugar momma #2. At least I know my kids are with a responsible adult when they are in his (really, her) house.

+1. I wouldn't want to tank his relationship with someone who seemed decent. The next woman he hooks up with maybe just as hot, but heavy on the crazy, and then your kids will have to deal with that. If she ends up married to him, you'll probably have an opportunity to connect with her on a more real level due to dealing with the kids. If she seems like he's repeating his old patterns, that's the time to step in and nicely say "I don't want to meddle, and I hope things are okay with you guys, but I just want to share my experience...."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posts are absurd. What do people think happen when you divorce? The other person moves on with their life. And you get zero say in that life.

OP's first post just proves that people divorce with an "Agenda" thinking they'll teach the other person a lesson and get them to see the error of their ways.

I totally agree with you, but right now I know a couple that have been going to court for years. It only takes one disgruntled bitter ex to cause you problems because they are miserable. I have zero problem if she warns the new wife, BUT she should totally move on kids or not!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your venom doesn't hurt anybody but you. You won't find happines until you let go of your misery. Move on already.

You should go on the family and parenting forum. A lot of glutton's for punishment. They always use the kids as the excuse to harass the ex and new partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

For one he can no longer control her, so sad for him. Everyone's different, I would want to know if I were dating an abuser. If she has photos of bruises or a documented arrest for domestic abuse it's NOT accusations, LOL! LMAO yeah...

Actually, the problem is she still wants to control him, and she can't, and she's all kinds of bitter about it.

Her ex's new woman won't believe what the ex-wife says. Her ex will be enraged. Nothing good can come of such "warnings". Which frankly don't come from good intentions anyway.